How do I become social when I can’t stand anyone?

[miserableforever]

I find people in general annoying and anxiety inducing. My social anxiety is so bad that I am at home most of the time, or run my errands quickly cause it's making me panicky. Also there's no desire to have friends. Am i the only one? Is this fixable?
It's not like I'm hateful, I'm just a content hermit. My boyfriend used to be the same, but he started doing more around others and he seems to enjoy it. We argue a lot these days over my bad depression issue and my self harming behavior. Sometimes I can't get out of bed cause depression paralyzes me. He doesn't let me leave the house at night cause he worries I might CTB. I told him a long time ago that's my end goal and my anxiety is killing me. I don't have insurance and can't get meds. I tried websites that offer help where I live, but the waitlists are closed.

 

[theboy]

the same thing happens to me

 

[CTB Dream]

Think do what want better not other want, not feel social can avoid social also can see root problem, no need force social if not wabt

 

[Obliviate]

Same. I am in the house ALL the time unless I NEED to go out. I have this panic anxiety that something will happen and humans are disgusting so I stay far away as I can. I have no friends, my family is horrible, I have two cats I love and that's about it

 

[GrumpyFrog]

You are definitely not alone. I am a hermit too. There are a lot of us.
Social anxiety is fixable, not instantly and not easily, but it can get better. Finding people exhausting and annoying and simply preferring to be alone might just be a personality trait that doesn't really need fixing. You might try meeting different people to find the ones that don't annoy you that much and to make them your friends, or you might choose not to do that and it would also be okay.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I really relate. I had depression since HS and anxiety. I found socializing exhausting. It got better but I also was in pain because of acne skin condition. Then my sexual traumas. It's becoming worse. It never was this bad I think if I stayed a virgin things wouldn't be so bad.

 

[miserableforever]

Think do what want better not other want, not feel social can avoid social also can see root problem, no need force social if not wabt

True, but my boyfriend is all I have. My family lives overseas and won't talk to me. I tried to change to make him happier with me. Last thing I need is that one person running off cause I suck.

I really relate. I had depression since HS and anxiety. I found socializing exhausting. It got better but I also was in pain because of acne skin condition. Then my sexual traumas. It's becoming worse. It never was this bad I think if I stayed a virgin things wouldn't be so bad.

Talk about sexual trauma.. I wouldn't know where to start.

 

[CTB Dream]

Ok maybe try limited interaction maybe help little

 

[Dead Ghost]

I do this very badly since I was a child, I can mix with other people if they do not interact with me in an affective way (greetings, hugs and kisses) or ask me anything that involves a change in routine (staying to go somewhere outside of school or work, that was when I was young... or simply staying today with a person I love).

I have the desire to live with other people but at the same time the truth eats away at the darkest part of me that denies everyone for pure fear of being hurt.

//

Jo això ho porto molt malament desde que era un nen, puc barrejar-me amb altres persones si aquestes no interactuen de forma afectiva amb mi (salutacions, abraçades i petons) o em demanin qualsevol cosa que suposi un canvi de rutina (quedar per a anar algún lloc fora de l'escola o de la feina, això quan era jove... o simplement quedar avuí día amb una persona que jo m'estimi).

Tinc el desig de fer vida al costat d'altres persones però alhora de la veritat se'm menja la part més fosca de mi que renega de tothom per pura por a que em facin mal.

 

[Autumn11]

Maybe you don't need to be

 

[Pluto]

A lot of us are in this boat. My preference was always to be alone, even though I'd spend half the time yearning to connect with others or feeling jealous of normal people. You might find a small number of people are compatible if you have a means of bonding and connecting with them, but average people are pretty sheltered by comparison and would just dismiss us as weird or asocial.

If abuse/trauma is the root of the problem, it is better to see if anything can be done about that, even from a self-help angle, rather than trying in vain to connect socially with others in a compromised state. But in saying all that, there's nothing wrong with being alone. Some say humans are social animals, but there seem to be exceptions.

 

[FrozenMango]

Do you like walking outdoors? A park, beach, lake,..etc? That is a good start

 

[Zegers]

find people in general annoying

They are. Finding people to connect feels like odyssey i'm quite down in the dumps anyway, having spent years secluded

 

[Gloom]

I think being social is one of those things you learn from other people. for example my mum is incredibly social and I find it cool that she can make close friends in a second language. but I noticed that she sacrifices a lot of integrity because of it, a lot of her closest friends are dumb racists but she still talks to them because she's known them for so long. she's working overtime without pay and her coworkers are treating her like shit and I think it's because she comes across as someone who can be walked over. The people that she meets and actually like never stay for long

despite having loads of friends and great social skills I can't help but think she still seems so fucking lonely, maybe nearly as lonely as me and i rarely talk to anyone. she contemplates suicide from time to time and tells me about it when she gets drunk.

why would i want to talk to people when i see what i would have to deal with. i dont want to be presentable to a bunch of cunts. i dont always feel like being overly nice and cutesy like people expect women to be just so i can be respected. fuck everyone tbh. i cant wait to die