How do I answer the question "What do you do?" without revealing I'm on disability?

[Ambivalent1]

Women I meet and want to get to know will ask that and I don't like lying but I don't want to reveal my situation - disability because ocd. I have good qualities. I'm smart, creative, well read, speak well, dress well, have a good BMI, but according to society, I'm a loser because I don't have a job

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

I used to always be honest and say I don't work, I haven't officially worked for over a decade now.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I used to always be honest and say I don't work, I haven't officially worked for over a decade now.

How do people, specifically romantic interests, respond?

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

Sometimes the subject would get changed and they'd ask something else or I'd ask what do you do?

Other times a common follow up question was usually: Are you looking for work? or, are you studying?, I'd say I'm going to study something or that I worked with my brother sometimes (which I didn't).

Covid helped because from then until now I just told everyone I wasn't vaccinated and every workplace requires it.

 

[HoFFnaRR]

You must overcome the discomfort, awkwardness and pain of what others think, and the need to try and impress. You are hugely valued because you exist, no more required. Society spews garbage, we believe.

 

[derpyderpins]

Did you study anything/have a degree? Then it becomes "my specialty is [X field]" or something like that.

 

[Ambivalent1]

You must overcome the discomfort, awkwardness and pain of what others think, and the need to try and impress. You are hugely valued because you exist, no more required. Society spews garbage, we believe.

Beautiful

Did you study anything/have a degree? Then it becomes "my specialty is [X field]" or something like that.

But you're making up a job by doing that or giving the impression you have one.

 

[HoFFnaRR]

You must overcome the discomfort, awkwardness and pain of what others think, and the need to try and impress. You are hugely valued because you exist, no more required. Society spews garbage, we believe

Beautiful

But you're making up a job by doing that or giving the impression you have one.

 

[Ambivalent1]

You must overcome the discomfort, awkwardness and pain of what others think, and the need to try and impress. You are hugely valued because you exist, no more required. Society spews garbage, we believe

Why did you remove what you wrote?

Sometimes the subject would get changed and they'd ask something else or I'd ask what do you do?

Other times a common follow up question was usually: Are you looking for work? or, are you studying?, I'd say I'm going to study something or that I worked with my brother sometimes (which I didn't).

Covid helped because from then until now I just told everyone I wasn't vaccinated and every workplace requires it.

Good tips

 

[HoFFnaRR]

Why did you remove what you wrote?

Good tips

Sorry, mistake...here goes
watch 'status anxiety' by Alain du button(spell) and the N.D.E. of Dr eben Alexander , both on YouTube, can help some

 

[Ambivalent1]

Sorry, mistake...here goes
watch 'status anxiety' by Alain du button(spell) and the N.D.E. of Dr eben Alexander , both on YouTube, can help some

Oh I thought it was the book. Thank God there's a video lol

 

[HoFFnaRR]

Luckily yo

Oh I thought it was the book. Thank God there's a video lo

Oh I thought it was the book. Thank God there's a video lol

lucky we are

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

IME things like that can be used to your advantage because it's an excellent way to ward off assholes. If they have an issue with disabled people, you'll find out in an instant by telling them and won't end up waisting time and emotional involvement on them. It's like a little insurance.

 

[SuicidalOrganism]

Remote/Freelancing software development

 

[Ambivalent1]

IME things like that can be used to your advantage because it's an excellent way to ward off assholes. If they have an issue with disabled people, you'll find out in an instant by telling them and won't end up waisting time and emotional involvement on them. It's like a little insurance.

It seems everyone I've met then is an asshole lol

Remote/Freelancing software development

But then you need the money to back that claim up. Women would accept the answer and then expect dates, if they're interested, and then you have to figure out what to do since disability doesnt pay much.

 

[Kavka]

If you're interested in really getting to know someone with the possibility of building up a (romantic) relationship, I think it's best to not lie about it. Otherwise, someone might start to like a fake version of you and you'll have to own up to it eventually. This just seems like a waste of energy and setting everyone up for disappointment.

Although it's not always necessary to put all your cards on the table when you first meet someone. It's easier said than done, but maybe you can try to frame it in the most positive way. For example, "I'm working on some mental health issues first, but I'd really like to work in x or study y."

Or if that's not your ambition, maybe you could mention something you're interested in or are working on, e.g. "and in the meantime, I'm learning to play the piano / learning Esperanto / reading Ulysses."

I think it's better to focus on finding people that you're compatible with and who like you for who you are (and vice versa). It's not easy though to be honest and show your vulnerabilities and it's something I struggle with as well.

 

[NumbItAll]

It's so upsetting how this matters so much, like it's not enough to be a good companion, you have to be a provider as well (even if you expect nothing in return). It sucks being looked at as an ATM.

 

[Ambivalent1]

It's so upsetting how this matters so much, like it's not enough to be a good companion, you have to be a provider as well (even if you expect nothing in return). It sucks being looked at as an ATM.

Yes it is upsetting, especially since women work nowadays

If you're interested in really getting to know someone with the possibility of building up a (romantic) relationship, I think it's best to not lie about it. Otherwise, someone might start to like a fake version of you and you'll have to own up to it eventually. This just seems like a waste of energy and setting everyone up for disappointment.

Although it's not always necessary to put all your cards on the table when you first meet someone. It's easier said than done, but maybe you can try to frame it in the most positive way. For example, "I'm working on some mental health issues first, but I'd really like to work in x or study y."

Or if that's not your ambition, maybe you could mention something you're interested in or are working on, e.g. "and in the meantime, I'm learning to play the piano / learning Esperanto / reading Ulysses."

I think it's better to focus on finding people that you're compatible with and who like you for who you are (and vice versa). It's not easy though to be honest and show your vulnerabilities and it's something I struggle with as well.

Good advice

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'd keep it a bit lighthearted and not immediately jump into the gravity of the real issues you're facing. For example if you get a pet, you can call yourself a stay at home dad. Once you get to know the person a little more, you can open up over time and let them in at a level you feel is appropriate. Lots of people are on disability. It really shouldn't define you or make you feel any less about yourself.

 

[KarmaBus]

Don't be ashamed of being on disability. They don't give that status out easily (at least in US) so you must have qualified properly. I think the right kind of woman would be accepting to something along the lines of…I had a career/studied (whatever you did previously) but it wasn't a good fit, so I'm currently taking a break to focus on maintaining my health while discovering my next move/something more meaningful/better suited to me.
Good luck

 

[Tesha]

You manage a disability budget to help a disabled person

 

[Ambivalent1]

Every woman rejects me when I tell them. I gain nothing from being direct about it.

I'd keep it a bit lighthearted and not immediately jump into the gravity of the real issues you're facing. For example if you get a pet, you can call yourself a stay at home dad. Once you get to know the person a little more, you can open up over time and let them in at a level you feel is appropriate. Lots of people are on disability. It really shouldn't define you or make you feel any less about yourself.

How about "I'm not working right now."? If they ask why, then say "it's complicated" and leave it at that?

 

[cait_sith]

"I work for the United Nations"
"Really?"
"Yes, I have been U.N.-employed for all of my adult life"

 

[nightlygem]

my first thought was "I'm a stay-at-home mom" lol. just for shits and giggles.
my real advice is to just be honest. those who care about your job are probably just wanting to find someone who's "financially stable" so they can find someone to support their own poor choices. hard to find someone who isn't after the love and the money, but they're out there.

 

[Ambivalent1]

my first thought was "I'm a stay-at-home mom" lol. just for shits and giggles.
my real advice is to just be honest. those who care about your job are probably just wanting to find someone who's "financially stable" so they can find someone to support their own poor choices. hard to find someone who isn't after the love and the money, but they're out there.

Or they want to build a life with someone and you not having a job throws a wrench into their dream.

 

[Ambivalent1]

...did you read my comment? This seems like a misreply...

According to you, I'm sifting through people by being honest, but all women are being sifted out. That's not good and doesn't allow me to have what I want.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I always tell . It will come out anyway

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

According to you, I'm sifting through people by being honest, but all women are being sifted out. That's not good and doesn't allow me to have what I want.

Why would you want to be with someone who won't accept you for who you are though?

 

[Ambivalent1]

I always tell . It will come out anyway

That's always been my thinking. You can't hide something like that for long, and then they discover you're a liar and you lose them anyway lol

Why would you want to be with someone who won't accept you for who you are though?

When that applies to every woman I've gone for, then I'm the one left unhappy and alone.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Find a foreign lady who desperately wants to immigrate to the USA and see if she'd be interested in a green card marriage. Depending on where she's from she might even be impressed that you get money for free from the government without having to do anything in return.

I thought of doing this too but I'm too lazy for it.