Discussion How do families react to CTB?

[RdMrk]

I have recently been considering CTB, and I was wondering if any of y'all knew people who completed CTB. If so, how are their families now? Did they eventually recover? Did they eventually understand why? I've seen distraught parents and such on the news before, but it's usually recently after they lost their loved one. Is that still the case years later?

 

[missingpeace]

It really depends, if a family has more members and/or is part of a bigger community then yes, I think they would recover after a year or so, but if there is very few, like if you were an only child, I guess that would make it much harder to forget. I imagine it would be hard for parents to forget any child of their own anyway but it would be especially difficult if they didn't have other children to focus their attention on. I have two younger siblings who will probably go on to have families, so I'm not that worried about them recovering, obviously they will be distraught for awhile but they are distracted enough socially, that it will be ok in the end.

 

[death's lover]

Person who wants to ctb: tells family about his depression and that he needs help.

Family: ignores it, invalidates his feelings, says you're lazy, its just a phase , you don't actually feel this way, you'll get over it, there are people who are suffering more than you.(basically doesn't give a shit)

Person: kills himself

Family: surprised Pikachu face

 

[Mister Skittles]

It's not really something you ever get over. Many parents who have lost children do manage continue leading their lives somewhat normally, but they will almost all tell you that they never got over losing their child. Even after 15-20 years, they still report thinking about them and some even grieve every single night. Even famillies that carry on living functional lives after losing a loved one, will be left permanently scared with grief that never truly leaves.
I once heard about the family of one of my dads friends, fallling apart after one member ctb'd. After one ctb'd some of the siblings got into alkahol/ drugs killing more of them. The mother eventully also overdosed and only one child was left out of 4. They lived for a while but eventually died young, due to some stress related issues harming there health. Some families can also just fall apart.

It really depends, if a family has more members and/or is part of a bigger community then yes, I think they would recover after a year or so, but if there is very few, like if you were an only child, I guess that would make it much harder to forget. I imagine it would be hard for parents to forget any child of their own anyway but it would be especially difficult if they didn't have other children to focus their attention on. I have two younger siblings who will probably go on to have families, so I'm not that worried about them recovering, obviously they will be distraught for awhile but they are distracted enough socially, that it will be ok in the end.

Family size usually isn't relevant. Losing people isn't the same as losing a pair of sunglasses, where it's less bad if you still have 2 other pairs. It's dependant on the individual personality traits of each family member. Some families can lose all 3 kids and live a functional life after wards. Other families of 5 can lose one and go completely off the deep end.
Losing a close family member or child, isn't something you ever recover from or get over. Even if it gets better with time for some, many parents/family members still report grieving every single day for over 15 years. Many also say that the feelings of destraut randomly pop up from time to time, no matter if it was 2 or 25 years after the death.
Someone I knew once told me about an entire family of six that went down the gutter after losing one kid to ctb. The mother never got over it and after 3 other of her kids ctb or pverdosed she did as well. The last one lived with a permanent anxitey disorder and died of stress induced complications later.

 

[Blackroom_57]

 

[didn't-it-rain]

^ btw, if you are on the fence and trying to convince yourself that it won't be *that* devestating, that's a terrible thread to peruse, lol

for me i know my parents would be devastated, and the fact they pretty much resent each other these days is one less protective factor. they do have fairly good support networks of friends and family and know how to access counseling/group therapy so that's something, and they also have another child - though in a way i imagine my sibling's life would be majorly disrupted in that he would most likely feel obligated to put his own life on hold to be with my parents.

as for how he would react, although i imagine a sibling's grief is wholly different from that of a parent, i still imagine he would experience a fair amount of guilt on top of general sadness that he will never see me or speak to me again. we don't always see things the same way, and if we weren't siblings we likely wouldn't be friends, but we're still fairly close and roughly the same age so we have a lot of history together.

in the end (and this is mostly speaking about my parents), i know grief is inevitable, and that no one truly gets over it like someone here said, and so IF i do ctb (big if), that's just something i have to accept; my hope is that eventually they'd be able to resume their life. especially because if i were to die in a tragic accident (which would be out of my control), they would still grieve y'know? i also hope that because they know about my struggles (so, it wouldn't be completely out of the blue) and i'm an adult (so they don't feel as responsible for me in the same way as if i were a child) that grief would be mitigated, and especially if they accept my pain was just too intense to bear. mostly though, if they were never truly able to enjoy life ever again, i could not forgive myself for that.

 

[RichardFirst]

I've known a few people who lost someone to suicide, and they all reacted a little differently. For each of them, them person who passed was known to be a troubled individual, so it was not unexpected, but they still were upset.

Personally, I would ask myself whether I could have done more to help the individual in question, but I would ultimately accept that they had the right to choose the time of their passing.

 

[tieiwi]

Person who wants to ctb: tells family about his depression and that he needs help.

Family: ignores it, invalidates his feelings, says you're lazy, its just a phase , you don't actually feel this way, you'll get over it, there are people who are suffering more than you.(basically doesn't give a shit)

Person: kills himself

Family: surprised Pikachu face

My situation right now. My family def won't care they'll get over it quick.

 

[SilentSadness]

This is why I wish no one remembers me after I ctb, hopefully they will accept my choice and find peace as well.