Discussion How did your illness ruin your relationship?

[Rustysoupcan]

Mental illness like to ruin your life, including relationships. Im wondering how it killed yours, because I'm currently losing the man I wanted to marry, so I guess I just wanted to feel not alone.

 

[WornOutLife]

My bipolar disorder ruined my relationship with my ex gf.
There were days in which I was so happy that I showed her all my life but there were some others in which I was so cold that I didn't even touch her. She got really depressed because of me and never understood my illness but I don't blame her. We shouldn't have lived together.

One more thing: she was the love of my life. This sucks lol.

 

[coldcoldcold]

i lost all of my friends once my mental illnesses got bad and it was just too much for them to handle (i don't blame them though, i could barely handle it myself). losing people you love because of it really sucks but you're not alone and it's possible to find friends who can relate or empathize

 

[booray]

My depression and suicidality is testing the strength of all my friendships. Being suicidal has made me feel more lonely than I could have ever imagined. Nobody wants to talk to me anymore because I just bring them all down. But I can't force myself to be happy when I'm not. I've never been very good at hiding my true emotions.

 

[NightmareTour]

I don't know when it started or if it's always been that way, but I eventually figured out I'm not capable of healthy relationships. I can't handle any kind of intimacy, physical or emotional, and I end up just forcing it on myself because I feel like I have to. I used to search for romantic relationships hoping that it'd be better and closer than friendships, but it wasn't. Now I don't look for either.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Hmm, mental illness wise, lots of people are turned off by me because my ptsd is incurable. Even in chronic illness support groups I've had people tell me that I just don't want to "take care of my own health" and accuse me of being toxic cause I don't want to be around my ptsd triggers.

Physical illness wise, chronic illness and chronic pain has decimated all my relations worse than the assassination of archduke Franz ferdinard destabilised European alliances. If you're no fun, not energetic, and not extroverted, good luck keeping friends and acquaintances.

I had to stop making plans with people as often during high school when I fell ill, as it was hard to predict how much pain I'd be in day to day. Nobody really understands unless they experience it firsthand.

I got groomed and abused as a result of my vulnerability as an autistic, disabled young woman. My ex used to scream in my face and jerk my arm because I'd go mute in a shop or something and be unable to talk. He forced me to work in a physically demanding job as soon as I turned 18, and told everyone around us that I was just a lazy, whiny little girl who didn't want to work when my body was in so much pain that I could do nothing but sleep everyday after work.

Because I had a mental health diagnosis, which doesn't mean shit in my opinion, other people wouldn't believe the extent to which I was being abused by that awful groomer. I begged others for a way out once things got really bad, and they didn't want to believe me because my ex was so charismatic and extroverted, while I was quiet and showed atypical body language due to autism.

Being so physically disabled leaves me reliant on others and in a constant state of beg and grovel for survival. I have to constantly worry about how much usefulness I am providing to others so that I don't get abandoned. Expressing my feelings of suicidality only ends in punishment, as people seriously believe that I "just don't want to try to get better" when I have attempted pretty much everything.

I barely talk to my friends because I can't be "fun." Going on nights out with my friends would leave me in a wrecked state the next day due to how much walking and physical activity is required. I hate drinking, and drinking is pretty much a requirement to obtain any sort of social life in this country, so I have to make my pain worse to fit in.

My boyfriend is constantly angry at me and threatening to break up with me or kick me out cause I'm so sick and suicidal, and he doesn't want to deal with it. To other people I am just a toy to play with and discard when they find something more amusing.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Mental illness like to ruin your life, including relationships. Im wondering how it killed yours, because I'm currently losing the man I wanted to marry, so I guess I just wanted to feel not alone.

Pretty much the same. Anxiety is difficult and seen as week even though everyone has it. Nobody wants to be around it. Then you feel abandoned and isolated. You will lose many lovers and family and friends. Nobody wants to talk about how you got torn apart to be so anxious so you are also left with no closure. So fuck em

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Pretty much the same. Anxiety is difficult and seen as week even though everyone has it. Nobody wants to be around it. Then you feel abandoned and isolated. You will lose many lovers and family and friends. Nobody wants to talk about how you got torn apart to be so anxious so you are also left with no closure. So fuck em

I'll be your family. Fuck those people who left you over being anxious.

 

[Carrotcake]

I lost all of my friendships over the years. My boyfriend is still with me, for some reason. I'm pretty sure I am ruining his life, so I often tell him he should leave and I would 100% understand. He doesn't. Which I don't understand. On my worst days I'm convinced he's only staying for the house/money, as there is absolutely no rational explanation for staying with someone who sucks the life out of everything.

 

[GarageKarate07]

I'll be your family. Fuck those people who left you over being anxious.

It takes a certain kind of love to say "Hey we are both broken. Let's hold hands together." Like everyone throws other people away so easily. It's not about a first or second or third chance. It's about saying I'm always here for you. Most of us can't even get that from our parents let alone a friend or a lover. The grass is always greener... This is why I finally can't wait to CTB. Just go home and start over. Get some rest. Also my little boy is there. Your thoughts are very appreciated though. We need to remember that we are not all bad and we are trying to figure this out together.

Hmm, mental illness wise, lots of people are turned off by me because my ptsd is incurable. Even in chronic illness support groups I've had people tell me that I just don't want to "take care of my own health" and accuse me of being toxic cause I don't want to be around my ptsd triggers.

Physical illness wise, chronic illness and chronic pain has decimated all my relations worse than the assassination of archduke Franz ferdinard destabilised European alliances. If you're no fun, not energetic, and not extroverted, good luck keeping friends and acquaintances.

I had to stop making plans with people as often during high school when I fell ill, as it was hard to predict how much pain I'd be in day to day. Nobody really understands unless they experience it firsthand.

I got groomed and abused as a result of my vulnerability as an autistic, disabled young woman. My ex used to scream in my face and jerk my arm because I'd go mute in a shop or something and be unable to talk. He forced me to work in a physically demanding job as soon as I turned 18, and told everyone around us that I was just a lazy, whiny little girl who didn't want to work when my body was in so much pain that I could do nothing but sleep everyday after work.

Because I had a mental health diagnosis, which doesn't mean shit in my opinion, other people wouldn't believe the extent to which I was being abused by that awful groomer. I begged others for a way out once things got really bad, and they didn't want to believe me because my ex was so charismatic and extroverted, while I was quiet and showed atypical body language due to autism.

Being so physically disabled leaves me reliant on others and in a constant state of beg and grovel for survival. I have to constantly worry about how much usefulness I am providing to others so that I don't get abandoned. Expressing my feelings of suicidality only ends in punishment, as people seriously believe that I "just don't want to try to get better" when I have attempted pretty much everything.

I barely talk to my friends because I can't be "fun." Going on nights out with my friends would leave me in a wrecked state the next day due to how much walking and physical activity is required. I hate drinking, and drinking is pretty much a requirement to obtain any sort of social life in this country, so I have to make my pain worse to fit in.

My boyfriend is constantly angry at me and threatening to break up with me or kick me out cause I'm so sick and suicidal, and he doesn't want to deal with it. To other people I am just a toy to play with and discard when they find something more amusing.

PTSD! Right on the nose. All the abuse in this world at any age will destroy a person for life. Maybe when 75%-80% of us are totally ruined people will start to figure out we are on the wrong path? I think more then 60% of people are ruined and don't want to face up to it. I also think anyone happy is denying the real world or is totally blind. Though I wish I could just be ignorant and happy very much. Maybe next life?

 

[introspectious]

I would always leave, regret it and try to get them back. It never really worked. If I had just committed myself to working through a relationship I wouldn't be alone now.

 

[lofticries]

lmao thanks to my severe paranoia they never began.

 

[sunsetintehwoods]

Actually, one of my biggest griefs. With my avpd-ish personality I forced some good people feeling bad for no particular reason, at least of it.

 

[EmptyManForever]

Because of my illness or my highly egotistical mind , I broke up with a lot of "good" friends , i guess i used to be way up in the sky or something, I was all high and mighty back then and lost so many good people from my life , and now I have fallen , I guess what they say it true , what goes up must come down ,just like that I came crashing down, and in the end I lost everything

 

[mugger]

Mental illness like to ruin your life, including relationships. Im wondering how it killed yours, because I'm currently losing the man I wanted to marry, so I guess I just wanted to feel not alone.

I lost the woman I wanted to marry 3 days ago. SN tomorrow. I'm so sorry to hear your struggle but sometimes you scar them too much and there is no going back.

 

[Deathbydemo]

My ex left me last July, and I can't honestly say I blame him, even though it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. My insecurities made me question his every move and intention. I second guessed him over and over, he got tired of it and left.

 

[Desdemona]

I don't have a mental illness but physical illness and it has alienated me from all of my friends, coworkers, family. I talk to my pet more than any other human and it makes me feel absolutely pathetic.


When you have nothing to contribute people do tend to move on and that's just life so I don't blame my friends for not wanting to check in on me or talk to me anymore.

I don't really leave the house, have any plans or get to participate in society in any way. I feel like a ghost except I have bills to pay and wake up to experience pain every day

 

[cheesefundamental]

so, i had been suicidal and depressed for most of my life.
my friend didn't mind this, at first
and then we got together some years later, at the height of my abuse, and he promised me so many things.
like us moving in together (we were long distance)
and us having children
and him helping me to love myself

but it grew to be too much
all of it did
i didn't listen to him, i made excuses not to do simple things like brushing my teeth or taking showers, i threatened to leave repeatedly because i could barely stand the kind of horrific monster i am, and every time he cried and begged me to stay, i barely did.
he felt like he wasn't heard
or listened to
ever
and i cant blame him for leaving me, but when he did, it destroyed me completely
i was so excited for a happy future filled with gentle cuddles and kisses, i was so excited to love and be loved
and now he thinks he was some kind of toy to me.
that i never gave a damn about what he said
he said if i killed myself id be proving that i didn't value his words

but at this point i cant fucking take being alone anymore either

my depression took everything from me, including him, and he promised me so often he'd never leave
love is never unconditional i guess
i just wish it was