How did you feel when you secured your method?

[Moon Flower]

My sn came today. I pretty much just felt all my tension instantly lift, and I was super excited/nervous. Just knowing that what I had in my hands was 100% assured to end my life if I so desire.

 

[trynacbt]

I don't actually have my SN yet, but just getting the meto and the tagamet made me break out in a huge smile, twice. It's so weird.

 

[Lethe]

I feel great, I feel like I can pretty much just fuck off and do anything I want now.

 

[Are you lost too?]

I'll pick up my SN and buy the meto and Tagamet tomorrow. Thought I would be calmer ... I feel a mix of nervousness, anxiety, hope and fear

 

[*KNAZ*]

I felt a huge sense of relief that I finally had the means in my hands. It was a huge hurdle to decide to order it.

 

[Stan]

I have the 'shrine of Stan' that I look at everyday with everything that I need.

 

[WhiteDespair]

It's the pleasant knowledge that if everything else spirals into chaos then there is still one thing over which I exert control.

 

[BlueWidow]

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I just feel like things are finally starting to align in the right way since I joined this site. Less than a month ago, I knew absolutely nothing about SN. Now, I have all my supplies in place and I am just working out the details.
I have tried and failed to ctb so many times in the past, but this time feels different. I finally feel like I'm doing things in a thorough and thought out way. Now I just need to figure out when I will have the best shot of not being found too early.
I have a good feeling that I'm going to succeed this time. I am so happy and grateful that I found this site. The people here are amazing. Thank you all so much for your support.
There are people on this site who make me laugh. Before I got here, I hadn't laughed in over two years. I wish I could tell the whole world how wonderful this site and the people on it are. I've gotten more support here than I ever have from the people around me IRL.
Thanks again to everyone! This isn't a goodbye message, just a thank you message. I know I'm babbling, but I just haven't felt this free or positive in such a long time. . .

 

[lofistos345]

I felt indifferent. But, I do feel relieve to have it with me all the time. I just can't believe it that it works and I have it available whenever I needed. It's like a desbelief. It's weird. Many years searching for the best way to CTB and I finally have it at hands.

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

Mainly a huge sense of relief, until I start to worry that something will go wrong and it won't work....and if that happens, I'll end up in a worse hell than I am in now.

 

[Haku]

My sn came today. I pretty much just felt all my tension instantly lift, and I was super excited/nervous. Just knowing that what I had in my hands was 100% assured to end my life if I so desire.

I felt the same when I got my SN 2 days ago, I was so excited, but at the same time nervous, my anxiety was killing me while I felt like going outside and screaming it to the world that I finally can get out of my hell, didnt actually do that though, just felt like it. But yea, I know a bit of how you must feel getting your SN. The only thing I still need is my meto, then I can start planning my trip to my final destination. I wish you the best of luck, love and peace for when you you decide to depart.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Immense relief at first. Knowing that there is now an end in sight to the suffering. Need to get my shit together and act on it.