Existence itself is the problem to me, I'd just never wish to be burdened with this torturous, futile and deeply undesirable existence I just always saw as a mistake, for me non-existence is just all that's positive and is all I could hope for.
I always suffer so much as a result of this existence that was so tragically imposed that just caused all this suffering as a result with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I find it so horrible how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, all I want is to be permanently unconscious with all gone and forgotten, I wish I could erase this existence.