Venting How did I get to this point?

[DarkThoughts]

I can't justify why I feel so low. People may well react differently to pain, but what situations could've hurt me so deeply? I've spent the past couple years trying to reintegrate into society, but now I feel even more like an outsider. Those years of life experiences wasted because I got stuck in a cycle. I've spent all my energy trying to catch up, but I haven't made any progress. Not really. I was led to believe that these indescribable thoughts would be suppressed, as I bettered myself. Wrong. I've decided that I will CTB, just need to source some SN. Though it's not easy in the UK because of the government's cruel actions against us.

I tried so hard to recover, but I need to rest.

 

[mortuarymary]

I can't justify why I feel so low. People may well react differently to pain, but what situations could've hurt me so deeply? I've spent the past couple years trying to reintegrate into society, but now I feel even more like an outsider. Those years of life experiences wasted because I got stuck in a cycle. I've spent all my energy trying to catch up, but I haven't made any progress. Not really. I was led to believe that these indescribable thoughts would be suppressed, as I bettered myself. Wrong. I've decided that I will CTB, just need to source some SN. Though it's not easy in the UK because of the government's cruel actions against us.

I tried so hard to recover, but I need to rest.

You need to order SN as though you're a buisness. No wefare check then.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find peace from all the suffering, it's certainly beyond cruel how humans purposely make suicide so inaccessible, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to die on our own terms.

 

[DarkThoughts]

You need to order SN as though you're a buisness. No wefare check then.

I don't have a registered business, are there ways around this or should I look for dark net sources? I understand if any answer can't be public. I would just deal with the welfare check, but I still live with my parents and my mental health issues are known to police (and parents).

I hope that you eventually find peace from all the suffering, it's certainly beyond cruel how humans purposely make suicide so inaccessible, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to die on our own terms.

Many of those in power have no idea what we go through. I believe that if they had a glimpse into our minds, some of them may change their stance on our right to CTB. Sadly I think it's too heavily controlled for changes to be made, but we shall see. I can only hope that, one day, our views aren't dismissed or frowned upon.