Since I moved back to live with my parents at 37, I am completely dependent on them for everything. I don't work and I have no savings to live on. Every day I just daydream of CTB by hanging or SN. They are both in their 70s and I just feel like a complete burden.
drakewantstogo
Pressure building
- Nov 9, 2018
- 188
I am more like emotional dependant. Well, used to be. My only will to live was being happy with someone, since I failed at all the other things. Failed with that as well too, so...
TheDevilsAngel
LetMeFree
- Apr 22, 2019
- 768
I am dependent and sounds pretty much like me failed the lot and still very much depend on who i can i feel weak like ive no choice i cant even go outside anymore and when i do its to buy food most bills get paid online its a nightmare.... It hard to be independent when u think everyone out to get u or hurt u.....i think i be better off gone from this world
Completely. To be honest though, if society was structured more naturally, we would probably all live in larger groups and support each other, I think.
TheDevilsAngel
LetMeFree
- Apr 22, 2019
- 768
I think if only i new someone like me someone who understands but i dont see any them people and they would have to approch me im a mess and society is damned for us who suffer. Everyone around me looks happy gets on . I see them and wonder how i cant function i cant go outside and chat im alone my partner is here but not here if u no what i mean..... I crave happiness so god damn much!
I don't know what will happen. If I had to return to my parents house, I would ctb. I'm a burden. Now the state give's me enough to survive. I've got 42+. They are at 70s also. I'm currently independent, but I'm at home except for the courses to try to get a job.
FaceOfSilence
Shhhh...
- Feb 24, 2019
- 40
More than i'd like to be, financially, having no job or education and not doing anything about it sucks and it's 100% my fault, what hurts the most is that if i was in position where i was not dependent on my small family for money i'd probably cut off the contact with them for various personal reasons, but instead i just keep leeching off of them
Emotionally i can't imagine living without the circle of people i've built, but i try to offer them support whenever i can and not pester them too much with my problems, thankfully there is enough of people willing to tolerate me so i could talk about different stuff with different people and not unleash a landslide on one person
Emotionally i can't imagine living without the circle of people i've built, but i try to offer them support whenever i can and not pester them too much with my problems, thankfully there is enough of people willing to tolerate me so i could talk about different stuff with different people and not unleash a landslide on one person
GeorgeJL
Enlightened
- Mar 7, 2019
- 1,621
Stay alive to take care of them into old age. That way you can repay them.
BTW even though I live with family I pay my bills.
BTW even though I live with family I pay my bills.
vaulthunter
poyo?
- Mar 19, 2019
- 65
incredibly emotionally dependent on those around me, especially the ones i have an intimate connection with. (i.e boyfriend, beat friend, parent). financially im almost completely dependent on my parents, which really hurts because i am a college student and that means they pay basically everything, from my food to my rent. it makes me feel like an overall failure who can't live life alone. i understand.
GeorgeJL
Enlightened
- Mar 7, 2019
- 1,621
You sound like a child that never grew up. Psychedelics can help you take responsibly for yourself and your actions. They show you what is most important. Do you think going part time at college, then getting a part-time job, and paying your own way would help you feel independent?
You know typically children that receive money from their parents for college don't feel so bad to the point that they want to commit suicide. Your a very unique case. But really I think there is a chance for you to fix this. Have you tried medication yet? Medication changes the way we feel about things.
vaulthunter
poyo?
- Mar 19, 2019
- 65
i am 19. i am a child that never grew up.
i have untreatable depression stemming from childhood ptsd, and ive been on several medications through life, and am currently on: cymbalta, lexapro, risperidone, and rexulti. i know i live a great life and all that, but the cloud of ptsd hovers over it all. i had a job, and the stress from that put me in the hospital last semester after an attempt and i'm basically part-time at school now because i'm still recovering.
i've tried searching for independence and each time it just blows up in my face. independence in general is also incredibly hard for me as i have bpd, and i feel like i need a constant stream of support and attention. there's a lot of conflicting emotions i have to deal with, and none of it is helped by the meds my psychiatrist just throws at me because he doesn't know what to do with me.
i am a really rare case and i know that, not to tongue my own ego or anything. but so many severe mental illnesses in a person that is otherwise living a perfect life is rare. no one really knows what to do with me. i've accepted that.
GeorgeJL
Enlightened
- Mar 7, 2019
- 1,621
Try the psychedelic ketamine. It's been shown to treat people that don't respond to typical anti-depressants.
FaceOfSilence
Shhhh...
- Feb 24, 2019
- 40
If you're replying to me there are reasons why i don't want to repay them but thanks to a recent discovery i'm not really suicidal now and kinda found a reason to live. Actually feeling motivated for once might help me get me out of this financial dependency loop and that would be massive for my well-being long-term. So, too, would be being able to cut off some toxicity.
JadedGray
Life Eternal
- Jul 24, 2018
- 991
Shamefully so...I have the emotional capacity of a teenager and I feel my life stopped when I was thirteen and my health declined. Because of my health (physically and emotionally) I'm unable to do much of anything and I'm a complete burden. I've been receiving disability payments for the past 6 years and I'm stuck living with my mom. It's not how I envisioned my life would turn out.
lululoo
Mage
- Dec 15, 2018
- 558
Don't let someone tell you you're so strange for being suicidal despite money from your parents. Money doesn't solve everything. Plenty of wealthy high school and college kids kill themselves.
Monster
Member
- Apr 26, 2019
- 77
Very. I don't work so I have no money for any of life's necessities. I wouldn't have food, shelter, clothes, without my parents. If they both suddenly died I imagine I'd get by, but I guess since it's I'm given the choice I do literally nothing.
Failureforlife1
Member
- Dec 8, 2018
- 6
I haven't left the house in almost 2 years except to go to my mom's for dinners and even that is difficult. I'm treated terribly every damn time I set foot in public I just can't do it anymore. My father gets my mail and gets my groceries every 2 months I pay for all my needs, rent and do all the yard work. I also spend a lot of time shut in my room playing video games or watching movies. I will be 25 in 2 months and I don't know how much longer I can continue to suffer for my family's happiness. Sometimes I wish my family didn't care about me so much because I know my death will be devastating to them.
I depend on my parents 100%, i'am NEET for 30 years. Not totally depend only in terms of money - I can't even do the basic things for each thing on my own, for example, to pay for electricity and the Internet even with money in my hands, I can't buy clothes and food for myself, it's a huge problem for me to leave home, my brain is dead, I don't have any thoughts and feelings. When my parents did not pay for me for a while, I almost starved to death and i know for sure when my parents die, I will inevitably die too, and this makes me very happy and brings relief. I can't do anything, I'm an absolute genetic trash, I'm just not lucky with genes and I can't do anything with it (because I can't change my genes), I don't have to live - in a normal society I would be dead for a long time, for such as I am obliged to be euthanasia. People like me are alive because in this world they are trying to squeeze the most money out of everyone and such a life is much worse than death. I am a rare type of loser even among other losers.
