Venting How can I stop dreaming about who don't want me?

[my endless blue]

It's 05:54 here in Brazil and I can't fucking sleep because everytime I try, I end up dreaming about my ex. How many of you passed through something like that? What can I do to forget her? My SN hasn't arrived yet so what the fucking can I do with the pain until there?

 

[ame-chan]

I'm really sorry about that but yeah I understand that is really hard to move on about things like that. It can take month or even years and when it's like that I force myself to watch an entire series to think about something else.. I don't even promise it works. Good luck soldier

 

[finallydone]

it's been 10 years now and i still dream about my ex, but at some point i got numb so it doesn't even bother me anymore

 

[EternalLight]

it's been 10 years now and i still dream about my ex, but at some point i got numb so it doesn't even bother me anymore

About the same length of time for me.

Sorry that you're experiencing this, @my endless blue. Some people have probably told you it gets better, you'll get over it, and so on, but for many it's just not something so easy; love is such a strange thing. But I hope you find peace from the pain you're going through.

 

[my endless blue]

I'm really sorry about that but yeah I understand that is really hard to move on about things like that. It can take month or even years and when it's like that I force myself to watch an entire series to think about something else.. I don't even promise it works. Good luck soldier

feel so fucking empty

and i can't even watch something because everything reminds me of her

it's like, i wish i could stop thinking about her at least when i sleep, but even when i'm sleeping i dream about her

i feel like i'm trapped

 

[ame-chan]

feel so fucking empty

and i can't even watch something because everything reminds me of her

it's like, i wish i could stop thinking about her at least when i sleep, but even when i'm sleeping i dream about her

i feel like i'm trapped

You can try watching some more action-oriented stuff, let's say... like The Boys for example.
Otherwise, in terms of a very cliché solution, there's doing sports which can help you let off steam a bit... otherwise, there's not much to do unfortunately...
I hope you'll be able to get over this feeling one day or another.
Because when you think about it, sleeping isn't the best solution since you're left alone with your thoughts.

 

[Mirrory Me]

You could ask google what does 554 means according to angel numbers, numerology, etc:

554 is a warning to be brave and strong when things get tough. It shows that changes are coming that will lead to growth and new chances. It is a sign that you should trust your choices and move forward. Long-term success depends on being able to balance work and home life.

If you check a clock, it can give you signs about which path you are up to take.

 

[niki wonoto]

At least it's your ex, which means at least you've already had a relationship before with her. In my case, it's a girl that I thought have special & deeper emotional connection & bond (via music; we're both musicians) for half a year, only just for her to flat out rejected me saying she's close with another guy...

& this happened on December 2024. So now it's new year, honestly, it just makes my existential depression even much worse, even to the lowest now. I don't know what's the reason I should keep living in this shitty world/life/society/existence/reality?...

 

[Yume Nikki]

It's been two months for me and honestly I have no idea. I still cry and dream about my ex daily and still can't get over it. The only thing that really helped was pointing out his flaws and the verbal abuse I went through and repeat it to myself over and over so my brain doesn't get into the idea of romanticizing someone that never cared about me to begin with. It's hard, but the only way out. Also, don't fall into the trap of false hope that they'll come back one day because it will further prolong the healing process. I was so desperate to feel loved again that I was blinded by dreams instead of facing reality for what it is. Hope you're hanging in there friend. I know the pain and it's difficult.

 

[my endless blue]

About the same length of time for me.

Sorry that you're experiencing this, @my endless blue. Some people have probably told you it gets better, you'll get over it, and so on, but for many it's just not something so easy; love is such a strange thing. But I hope you find peace from the pain you're going through.

yeah, love is a strange thing. such as life. such as everything i guess.

i know the pain will get easier someday, but maybe the problem is me, idk

maybe the solution for all of this is never loving again

At least it's your ex, which means at least you've already had a relationship before with her. In my case, it's a girl that I thought have special & deeper emotional connection & bond (via music; we're both musicians) for half a year, only just for her to flat out rejected me saying she's close with another guy...

& this happened on December 2024. So now it's new year, honestly, it just makes my existential depression even much worse, even to the lowest now. I don't know what's the reason I should keep living in this shitty world/life/society/existence/reality?...

i'm so sorry.
for me, it happened in November, and I'm still feeling as much as pain i could. don't really understand how some people get through things so fast but yeah, maybe i'm just intense.
hope you can find peace, and I hope someday i can listen to your music :)

It's been two months for me and honestly I have no idea. I still cry and dream about my ex daily and still can't get over it. The only thing that really helped was pointing out his flaws and the verbal abuse I went through and repeat it to myself over and over so my brain doesn't get into the idea of romanticizing someone that never cared about me to begin with. It's hard, but the only way out. Also, don't fall into the trap of false hope that they'll come back one day because it will further prolong the healing process. I was so desperate to feel loved again that I was blinded by dreams instead of facing reality for what it is. Hope you're hanging in there friend. I know the pain and it's difficult.

Yeah, i'm kind holding on the hope that she will come back, and I know it's a mistake but i just can't help. I feel like a slave of my own thoughts.
She also insists in keep contact, but don't really answer me like before. She says she loves me and then i get confuse. Like, if we love each other, then why did we break up? Sometimes I feel so alone that I send her messages talking about anything, and saying that I love her, and out of 11 messages, she only answers to 3 and of course, ignores my "i love you"
Not gonna lie, it's killing me slowly. I can't workout anymore, can't sleep anymore, can't eat, i'm just living in anxiety and pain. Not sure if I can take for much longer. some friends say "hey, stop humiliating yourself" and i'm like "yeah, you're right" but next day i'm back on the loop. I feel pathetic and this whole situation is making me feel disgusted with myself and making me think that all the value I had was just an illusion

 

[CogitoMori]

I don't know. I've had 2 dreams about my safe person and keep trying to induce more because I'm so happy in those dreams

 

[my endless blue]

I don't know. I've had 2 dreams about my safe person and keep trying to induce more because I'm so happy in those dreams

I'm so happy too.
Some are sad honestly.
But in a lot of them I see her smile one more time, her scent, her laugh, but then I just wake up and feel destroyed

 

[Yume Nikki]

yeah, love is a strange thing. such as life. such as everything i guess.

i know the pain will get easier someday, but maybe the problem is me, idk

maybe the solution for all of this is never loving again

i'm so sorry.
for me, it happened in November, and I'm still feeling as much as pain i could. don't really understand how some people get through things so fast but yeah, maybe i'm just intense.
hope you can find peace, and I hope someday i can listen to your music :)

Yeah, i'm kind holding on the hope that she will come back, and I know it's a mistake but i just can't help. I feel like a slave of my own thoughts.
She also insists in keep contact, but don't really answer me like before. She says she loves me and then i get confuse. Like, if we love each other, then why did we break up? Sometimes I feel so alone that I send her messages talking about anything, and saying that I love her, and out of 11 messages, she only answers to 3 and of course, ignores my "i love you"
Not gonna lie, it's killing me slowly. I can't workout anymore, can't sleep anymore, can't eat, i'm just living in anxiety and pain. Not sure if I can take for much longer. some friends say "hey, stop humiliating yourself" and i'm like "yeah, you're right" but next day i'm back on the loop. I feel pathetic and this whole situation is making me feel disgusted with myself and making me think that all the value I had was just an illusion

I know what you mean, I was holding on to a false sense of hope for two months that he'll eventually text me and try to work things out but then after coming back from my trip to Poland, I noticed he removed me from his gaming discord server, and I realized that it was probably a sign to move on at that point. At first, when he decided to break up, I tried to save the relationship by giving him space or offering long-distance, but it was only pushing him away further, I was in denial of what was happening and tried everything to make it up to him, but then at some point it just becomes pathetic so I gave up, love can make us blind to reality, my ex also said he loved me and wanted to see me, but hasn't contacted me in months and ghosted me after I tried to call. It was clear he didn't care anymore. We can't keep chasing something that we can't have, no matter what. Life doesn't work in our favor most of the time, some people are lucky, and some aren't like myself. Let yourself cry it out and feel the emotions, maybe somewhere down the line, you'll look back and think it's probably for the best. Good luck to you, friend! :)

 

[my endless blue]

I know what you mean, I was holding on to a false sense of hope for two months that he'll eventually text me and try to work things out but then after coming back from my trip to Poland, I noticed he removed me from his gaming discord server, and I realized that it was probably a sign to move on at that point. At first, when he decided to break up, I tried to save the relationship by giving him space or offering long-distance, but it was only pushing him away further, I was in denial of what was happening and tried everything to make it up to him, but then at some point it just becomes pathetic so I gave up, love can make us blind to reality, my ex also said he loved me and wanted to see me, but hasn't contacted me in months and ghosted me after I tried to call. It was clear he didn't care anymore. We can't keep chasing something that we can't have, no matter what. Life doesn't work in our favor most of the time, some people are lucky, and some aren't like myself. Let yourself cry it out and feel the emotions, maybe somewhere down the line, you'll look back and think it's probably for the best. Good luck to you, friend! :)

Thank you so much for sharing your story!
It's been really hard not to cry. I just don't want to believe she doesn't care about me anymore, just the thought of it makes me sick. I wish I could focus on the bad things of our relationship but.. I can't really remember anything bad because we used to be SO FUCKING GREAT together but out of nowhere... she just broke up with me. I hope i can respect myself soon like you did, try to move on and be okay. I'm really trying to, but everything reminds me of her.
But, yeah, good luck to us both!

 

[Yume Nikki]

Thank you so much for sharing your story!
It's been really hard not to cry. I just don't want to believe she doesn't care about me anymore, just the thought of it makes me sick. I wish I could focus on the bad things of our relationship but.. I can't really remember anything bad because we used to be SO FUCKING GREAT together but out of nowhere... she just broke up with me. I hope i can respect myself soon like you did, try to move on and be okay. I'm really trying to, but everything reminds me of her.
But, yeah, good luck to us both!

Don't worry, it sounds like you're still in the beginning stages of grief, which is fine, I didn't want to believe my ex didn't care about me anymore either, I kept making up delusions that he would call or return to me one day and apologize for everything that happened but those imaginary scenarios were only hurting me instead of healing. It's okay to cry and feel all these emotions, you're going through a breakup which is one of the most painful experiences every human being goes through in their lives. The thought of my ex being with someone else after we split make me sick too, but gradually that feeling will fade the more time you distract yourself and focus on other things. I try to cope with these feelings through obsessing over my fictional crushes like Dio from Jojo for explain. It helps keep your mind off the negative thoughts for awhile by refocusing your mind on something else.

 

[easypeasy]

It's 05:54 here in Brazil and I can't fucking sleep because everytime I try, I end up dreaming about my ex. How many of you passed through something like that? What can I do to forget her? My SN hasn't arrived yet so what the fucking can I do with the pain until there?

I think it depends on how strong your self esteem is. With healthy self esteem, you will get over them and realise you don't need them to feel good. So the worse you feel, the more you have to invest in working on your self esteem to feel better.

 

[my endless blue]

I think it depends on how strong your self esteem is. With healthy self esteem, you will get over them and realise you don't need them to feel good. So the worse you feel, the more you have to invest in working on your self esteem to feel better.

Yes, my self esteem is really bad. Maybe that's why I've always become a bit dependent on other people. And it gets really, really bad when i have to deal with break ups

 

[easypeasy]

Yes, my self esteem is really bad. Maybe that's why I've always become a bit dependent on other people. And it gets really, really bad when i have to deal with break ups

completely agree x break ups are a brutal test for self esteem.

 

[CogitoMori]

It

Yes, my self esteem is really bad. Maybe that's why I've always become a bit dependent on other people. And it gets really, really bad when i have to deal with break ups

It's less to do with self esteem and more to do with having other people to support you. What you do for yourself doesn't really matter unless you have people behind you willing to help. The only common denominator between the majority of people that have been successfully treated for mental health issues is a commited, long term partner, or some other form of social support system.

 

[my endless blue]

It

It's less to do with self esteem and more to do with having other people to support you. What you do for yourself doesn't really matter unless you have people behind you willing to help. The only common denominator between the majority of people that have been successfully treated for mental health issues is a commited, long term partner, or some other form of social support system.

The issue is that she was my best friend as well, and i only have two other friends who can help me through all of this pain, but i think they are tired of dealing with me. And being alone with my own thoughts it's killing me, I guess it's killing me more than the actual break up but idk honestly.
I feel so lonely and i don't really know what to do

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I'm sorry for your loss and I honestly don't know how to forget. In my case I stopped sleeping, not because of dreaming, I just have trouble sleeping now. In a way, I wish I could sleep and dream of my person. As I read this, at 03:24 I thank @Mirrory Me for giving me something to do and consulting Numerologist, and you guys for keeping me company. I hope you find a better way to deal with this, and I'm sorry for not being of help. Just know that you are not alone in this

 

[Valhala]

At least it's your ex, which means at least you've already had a relationship before with her. In my case, it's a girl that I thought have special & deeper emotional connection & bond (via music; we're both musicians) for half a year, only just for her to flat out rejected me saying she's close with another guy...

& this happened on December 2024. So now it's new year, honestly, it just makes my existential depression even much worse, even to the lowest now. I don't know what's the reason I should keep living in this shitty world/life/society/existence/reality?...

It's harder when she's an ex, my friend, trust me.
I understand you and unfortunately there is no solution. Everything I tried was counterproductive..ignoring the memories, trying a new relationship, doing something else - everything only made me focus more on her. It's been more than a year and everything is still harder than it was - only someone who has experienced real, true love can understand this.
I understand you and unfortunately there is no solution. Everything I tried was counterproductive..ignoring the memories, trying a new relationship, doing something else - everything only made me focus more on her. It's been more than a year and everything is still harder than it was - only someone who has experienced real, true love can understand this.

 

[easypeasy]

It

It's less to do with self esteem and more to do with having other people to support you. What you do for yourself doesn't really matter unless you have people behind you willing to help. The only common denominator between the majority of people that have been successfully treated for mental health issues is a committed, long term partner, or some other form of social support system.

I think both are equally as important. Our worth isn't determined by those around us but it is extremely important to have at least one person to support you and stand up for you and have your side after a traumatic event, as that's the best indicator of healing from it. Xx

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Time is the only cure unfortunately. In the meantime, if you have to think about her, try only thinking about the things you didn't like about her.