You mostly can't without risking your ability to do it.
If you give them any clues, they can do a welfare check and they can take you into involuntary commitment if the police or mental health people think you are lying.
If you want to help them understand, you can include in your note why you're doing it, why you wouldn't be open to persuasion, and that it isn't their fault. If you have tried to get help and it didn't work, you can include that.
If you really want to be nice to them, however, just don't do it. Find a way to live. Especially if any of them are in a vulnerable position, like they are going through something difficult. Or make sure to not do it at a time that will be especially disruptive.
There was a post on here once about suicide notes and what would make things easier or harder for people, but if they really care about you, and probably do, they'll be devastated no matter what. Your pain will decrease, but theirs will increase. There's really not an ethical way to end your life if you ethical calculations are purely based on not increasing pain for others. Part of it is probably a question of how much you can bare: some people can't bare life anymore, and suicide, while a choice on some level, is also not on another level.
But it's going to be awful for them. So if you can find a way to stay alive for them, do it. Have you tried: -therapy, medications, jogging every day, only eating raw food or stopping all carbs, giving up drugs or alcohol, starting drugs or alcohol, going to support groups to give up the drugs/alcohol you started, going to any support groups, changing your life to do things you like more? Is there a reason you are in pain that you can't change?
I'm sorry this probably isn't the answer you want. I am pro-choice and support whatever you decide. <3
I don't think you can ever soften the blow per say, but there are some things you can do is help your family, friends and loved ones hopefully have closure in your transition. Here are a few suggestions that I have: You can make seperate audio recordings to everyone and include whatever is important for you to tell them. Maybe tell them how much you appreciated them and make it clear there was nothing they could do to change your decision as this is what YOU wanted. I think people always look inward and blame themselves for not knowing the signs or how to help.
You can write letters or notes to people, BUT understand those people will not get those letters until the police release them and if there is anything that see that could be traumatizing to someone they may not release them.
Make a video. Explain to your loved ones why if you want. Explain how you cane to this decision. I think suicide is a transition that people simply can't understand, but you can try. I would suggest if you make a video, look happy as they will replay it several times. Maybe reminiscence about that great times you had with everyone.
These are all the things I've done before, only thing is, my attempts always fail.
Best wishes to you, hopefully something I said can be helpful
oh this was a much better response than what I wrote. this is better! lol. separate audio recordings is a kind idea. it would be hard to listen to for them. i lost someone close to me and i wish i had a kind audio recording or something saying something nice to me, it would be hard and devastating, but i didn't know how they felt about me at the time they died. personally, i am filled with so much regret and thoughts of "if only i had done more, if only i had done this differently, if only..." and if she had somehow told me that her death is something that probably would have happened no matter what I did, I might have felt better, but perhaps not. Her death is a big part of the reason I joined SaSu. I joined shortly after she died. I was suicidal before she died, but her death increased by intent to die and seriousness about suicide by a very large amount.
