Yeah... The feeling of the inevitable, but how can we cope? I think we can only try to live what we can at the best of our possibilities and when we will be so tired and exhausted and ready to do it... We will do it
Sorry to hear that, hope that u will find a little bit of peace soon. It's just my personal experience but I notice that my brain after several months of extreme negative thoughts and extreme pain and tiredness just like... Shuted itself down and decided to ignore all the pain and to think only "basic thoughts". It's not really a wonderful way to live but I think it helps to have a little break. Maybe u will experience it too
Yea that's precisely what I'm doing, I have an end date I just need to wait till then, so I can go the way I want to,, but yes how do we cope, I can't, cutting doesn't tame that feeling, you know, I fear at some point I might fall down and ruin everything I've built around me allowing me to live in this world as painful as it already is, and as little as i want to even be here in the first place,, I'd say this site is one tiny miniscule for my form of coping, that shit ain't much, I wish we could have a way to cope, but I'm afraid I will always just be barely "coping" always on the edge, and that kind of uncertainty is somthing I can hardly maintain but for now,, for now I do, I feel nonsensical.