Hi, almost 1 year ago I did my first post, bc I was at my lowest point of life and I really thought about suicide. I recovered from that moment and now I'm better, still haunted by horrible thoughts but better. You instead? How are you? Even if I'm better I rationally know that with my health and mental problems one day I will reach the limit and I will do it, maybe in 1 year maybe 2 maybe 3 but it will happen. You guys do you still hope to have a normal life or do you think the same way as me? I know this post is very useless but I just wanted to talk with some people that can understand me.
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fleetingnight
incapable of shutting up
- May 2, 2024
- 325
I'm really glad to hear you're doing better now, even if you're unsure about the future. I hope you're able to relax for a long time without things going so far downhill.
I think I've been feeling a little worse lately, but weirdly, with more of a will to live. I feel like I'm fighting to survive, but at least it's something
I think I've been feeling a little worse lately, but weirdly, with more of a will to live. I feel like I'm fighting to survive, but at least it's something
Thx so much for the kind words and yeah I think I will relax as much as I can, if I don't have a future I will really enjoy the present ahahah. Anyway I'm also happy hearing that you have more will to live, it's better than nothing and it's a point to start
I'm glad you feel better now and you recovered from your lows. When I joined SaSu last year I was also at my lowest point and very suicidal. Currently I'm hardly suicidal though still on a low level. I wish u all the best :-)
Thx so much and I also wish you all the best, hope that you keep improving and anyway love the Latin dictum
YandereMikuMistress
you say falling victim to myself is weak, so be it
- Apr 26, 2023
- 236
Good on ya, but I know what you mean, or I think I do,, I'm decent, always jus decent or that's the go to irl, but I'm just preparing and working towards that day of freedom ifykyk
lkjhgfdsa1
đź–¤
- Apr 17, 2024
- 391
Tired of trying to find reasons to continue to live
Yeah... The feeling of the inevitable, but how can we cope? I think we can only try to live what we can at the best of our possibilities and when we will be so tired and exhausted and ready to do it... We will do it
Sorry to hear that, hope that u will find a little bit of peace soon. It's just my personal experience but I notice that my brain after several months of extreme negative thoughts and extreme pain and tiredness just like... Shuted itself down and decided to ignore all the pain and to think only "basic thoughts". It's not really a wonderful way to live but I think it helps to have a little break. Maybe u will experience it too
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kindalone
Student
- Mar 1, 2023
- 186
Trying to put fires out while being on fire myself. I hope to help as many people as I can — for as long as I can — and be useful, but I'm at my breaking point, and I'm glad when the suffering is finally over.
I'm glad you're not in the trenches anymore. I think we've all had these moments when we mellow out and feel almost optimistic in comparison. I honestly wish they will last for you. I've had them so many times that it feels like an illusion I need to wake up from, unless I want a rude awakening. Something always pulls me back into reality.
I think the same way. A normal life is like a fairy tale to me and everyone who lives it seems like a unicorn. In the past, it was nice to daydream a bit. About having a family, a nice job, a house. But it feels like a cruel joke now. I rarely do it anymore.
I'm glad you're not in the trenches anymore. I think we've all had these moments when we mellow out and feel almost optimistic in comparison. I honestly wish they will last for you. I've had them so many times that it feels like an illusion I need to wake up from, unless I want a rude awakening. Something always pulls me back into reality.
FuneralCry
She wished that she never existed...
- Sep 24, 2020
- 35,171
No matter what I'm always wishing for permanent non-existence, I'd always prefer to eternally not exist than to suffer for decades in this futile existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel. Having the ability to exist will always be undesirable to me and in my case suicide is all that feels rational to escape from the meaningless and torturous burden of existing as a human. I envy those who no longer exist, they are the true and only fortunate ones to me, I only find comfort in death, only death can bring peace from the abomination that is existence.
I'm so sorry to hear that you must have gone through some insane traumatic experiences i really hope you'll find peace
YandereMikuMistress
you say falling victim to myself is weak, so be it
- Apr 26, 2023
- 236
Yea that's precisely what I'm doing, I have an end date I just need to wait till then, so I can go the way I want to,, but yes how do we cope, I can't, cutting doesn't tame that feeling, you know, I fear at some point I might fall down and ruin everything I've built around me allowing me to live in this world as painful as it already is, and as little as i want to even be here in the first place,, I'd say this site is one tiny miniscule for my form of coping, that shit ain't much, I wish we could have a way to cope, but I'm afraid I will always just be barely "coping" always on the edge, and that kind of uncertainty is somthing I can hardly maintain but for now,, for now I do, I feel nonsensical.
