Discussion How are you feeling right now?

[myopybyproxy]

https://i.sanctioned-suicide.net/images/2019/06/87061_suicide_scale_d3GkSqA.jpg

I live between a 6 and a 9, with a few very rare moments below 6, usually only due to drugs. Yay. Right now I'm an 8.5. How are you doing?

 

[willitpass]

6 or so? have no intent to ctb anytime soon but i hope something kills me before i even get the chance to ctb

edit: upon further reflection i'm probably at a 7 considering i've been passively attempting suicide by doing so many harmful little experiments on myself just to see what happens

 

[Onthe29th]

I think I was a 5 before but now I'm a 9 and I'm about to be at 10 pretty soon. Not much longer now

 

[Kristicide]

Geez I'm a 9. Except I am purposely NOT leaving a note or telling anyone goodbye. I'm acting like normal so there's so suspicion.

 

[Foresight]

If I'm safe inside I'm 5, If I have to go outside with my agoraphobia I'm a 9.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Just a few hours ago I was at 10. I was intending to CTB tonight.

 

[meetapple]

6. I am pretty sure that my problem can't be fixed but I don't have the fortitude to die.

 

[_Minsk]

7. I can't live with these chronic health issues and ptsd any longer, i need to face the inevitable..
Life has been crap for too many years, i cant believe im still struggling with this..

 

[onleana]

im having an okay day so 7-8. i dream and fantasize about cbt but my mom would be in excruciating pain if i did it so i haven't made that final decision yet.

 

[olkf]

8 about. it change alot but I have to kill myself so its not much of a decider

 

[Hirokami]

Used to be an 8, bordering on a 9. Now, I'm probably a 4.

 

[Fenrirsend]

https://i.sanctioned-suicide.net/images/2019/06/87061_suicide_scale_d3GkSqA.jpg

I live between a 6 and a 9, with a few very rare moments below 6, usually only due to drugs. Yay. Right now I'm an 8.5. How are you doing?

7 getting to 8 fast....I'm losing hope, running outa time and getting desperate.

 

[S like Siren]

9/ 10 ready to die

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not sure exactly where I would fit on the scale, but right now I feel quite ill and tired. Of course I am always thinking of ctb and today I was thinking about how comforting it would be to have a peaceful way to exit. More than anything I wish it was easier to leave. At least someday it will all end and I will be at peace.

 

[Hercules]

I am at a 9/10.

 

[Z-bar]

8. I indulge in the thoughts instead of fighting them. Fully accepting them brings me solace.
Im 33. I may not ctb for decades or I may die before I choose to go somehow, I think I'll know when it's time.

What's stopping me is knowing I haven't given my all to life to see if it does turnaround. I've half assed my existence for a long time.
First I wanna apply myself in every area of life, exercising regularly, eating right, going to therapy specifically for ptsd, setting goals and actively pursuing them 100%.

I'm in the beginning of taking all that on as I type this, and especially with working out, the mind body connection is amazing.
When you commit, and you feel yourself getting stronger it spills over into other walks of life, you feel stronger emotionally, mentally.
One day when my health fails will probably be my time.
Hope everyone has a good day

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm lvl 9, actively planning my departure. And I'm NOT going to ''tell someone'' because no one cares.

 

[PreussenBlueJay]

Cycle between 4 and 5. Used to be a 9 about a decade ago but I waited it out and it faded. I can relate to thinking about death when work is stressful or I don't like something going on in the world. Accepting that that stuff lies outside my control is helpful. I'm insignificant and can't help anywhere but at least that means I'm not responsible for anything.

 

[anxious_depressive]

Between 6/7 and 8.

 

[spookyfrito]

About an 8/9

 

[sadanon3]

https://i.sanctioned-suicide.net/images/2019/06/87061_suicide_scale_d3GkSqA.jpg

I live between a 6 and a 9, with a few very rare moments below 6, usually only due to drugs. Yay. Right now I'm an 8.5. How are you doing?

6

Holy fuck you're telling me this gets worse

 

[lanahelp]

I am so torn. I've been dealing with a brain infection for 5 years. I've lost everything in that time. I don't want to die. I also can't live in this pain. I suffer from profound depersonalization and derealization. It physically hurts to be alive. I've lost all connection to reality but for writing and texting. I know the devastation cTB will cause. I also don't know if I have the courage to do it. But the pain is otherworldly. I did ketamine and it only made symptoms worse. I don't sleep. Or eat well. Or work. Or do anything in once did as a successful, vital and mostly happy person.

Please. I need guidance on how to end the pain. I don't think I can withstand any more aggressive treatment and believe the ptsd from it all will keep me living in terror and dependent for the rest of my life.

I need help in finding a method. Almost had N but it was caught in customs. I have sodium nitrate which I learned is wrong. I also have pills. Xanax. Antibiotics. Remeron. Trazodone. Lithium. Naltrexone. Who can advise? I want peace.

 

[Sanva]

I'm probably at six rn, I think I'm always between 6 and 9 too. At times when I don't have to go outside and I can distract myself I suppose I can be a 5.

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

RN 6/7 so I'm gonna keep drinking my whisky haha. I feel so empty

 

[Nanako]

I was going to say 9, but there's nothing I can do right now. So I guess that means I'm at 8?