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dinosavr
and if i’m turning blue please don’t save me 🌛
- Dec 14, 2023
- 540
There's absolutely no logical reason why self harming is good. It's totally against human nature etc. But oh my god. The minute I felt this burning sensation on my hand again, it's like all the pieces fell back into place. I've missed my lighter, the heat of the flame. Relapsing helped me feel better. In a way, I think it's because I was constantly thinking about how much I want and deserve pain. And by causing myself pain, it just feels right. And who knows? Maybe, one step at a time, I'll be ready again to not just hurt myself but to finally kill myself. I will do my best to not let myself heal. I can't be happy, I'll never be happy, so there's no point at all in trying.