Help Hot & Cold Behaviour?

[15dec]

How do you understand it when an ex is generally hot and cold when he sees you?

We broke up in November, were friends until January, had a small fight (not to do with the relationship) and he didn't like me at all.

I ended up taking time off of college for about a month and when I came back he was back to normal as if nothing happened. Then some girls from my class asked if we were dating and asked if we'd get back together, I said no but my ex didn't say anything.

After that I keep getting these hot and cold behaviour from him. I'll see him glance towards me sometimes but normally not initiate conversation. Sometimes I start talking to him and he seems completely off with me and like he doesn't want me anywhere near him, and other times he'll be his usual self.

My biggest confusion with this is that it happened right after I said we wouldn't get back together -I'm honestly wondering if he had wanted to get back together and wants distance because I said we wouldn't or if I'm just looking into things too much.

Last week he seemed to be friendly with me. He didn't say anything to me first but he was glancing at me, and later on when I talked to him he was normal. I didn't speak to him that much so I was wondering if he'd wanted to more?

Today I saw him in the hallway and we made eye contact. I thought he looked a little sad (might just be me though) and then he made a beeline for the other side of the hall. Which probably isn't a good sign.

In hindsight I've probably come across as rude or cold towards him -I said we wouldn't get back together very quickly which I suppose could've seemed insulting. There've been some other times when I've been a little cold towards him (after he's made some comments and jokes which were honestly quite upsetting -I don't think he means genuine harm though). It could be something to do with this?

So, what's the best way to deal with this? It's honestly stressing me out a bit because I can't tell if I've done something to upset him or if I'm just overthinking. I don't have any intention of getting back together and want to be friends, or at least on good terms.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I think he's probably still into you at least a little, but feels that he has to temper his expectations a bit in order to not get egg on his face. You sent out a mixed signal when you told him you wouldn't be getting back together any time soon and he likely doesn't want to feel toyed with. It might be a good idea to have some clear communication with him about the fact that you're only looking for friendship but don't want it to be weird because of your past together. But tbh a lot of guys (me included) don't want to only be friends after a breakup. I have no real incentive in that instance. I hope this helps.