KadathianStr1d3r
Shattered Mannequin
- Nov 21, 2018
- 278
I'm go through a manic episode right now and not wanting to feel depressed like usual I thought it be great to instead get some help by sharing my story I've been attempting yet struggling to write up.
Here it is:
I can feel her hate once more as I open my eyes to a new morning
She was here, not physically here but more like in my dreams
From what I know about her is that once she sets her eyes on you, she never lets go
She is not of this world but most likely from far away
Since I can feel her in my dreams and because of her I see other 'things' from other worlds
Traversing the dreamscape they go about, in forms revolting against all we see as normal
They pass by because it is their dreamscape not mine, she cursed my there
She wants me
She wants me
She wants me to look at her
Despite her hating me, through the constant malicious abuse she gives
Pricking the strings of casualty against me anyway she wants to
Because I am her property, I bore the Emblem of the Fertilant Petal
An emblem only forced upon one by the hand of one's own Mother
Sacrificing defective offspring for a more suitable child
And it is that I am to die
No matter what I do, even though I just killed my own mother a few days ago, she is still there
My name is Sylvia, I am 14 years old, I live in Long Shore County south of the Grand Syverian River
This is my story from beginning to my eventual end
This is where I died 7 months ago on my 14th birthday
When Mommy burnt the Petals into my fleshy soil.
Number 1
Today is my birthday
I awoke in my cramped small bedroom with sunlight beaming upon my freckled face
It's Saturday, Mommy is at work and my older sister is evidently here
I can tell by the loud fucking happening across the hallway and the strong stench of alcohol
Don't know who's the dude, too many to guess right
Since it's my birthday and I am feeling lucky, probably a high schooler
Can't be to specific especially with her, she's been with a lot of guys
I get up, got out of my room, down the hallway towards the kitchen
I prepared a simple milk and chocolate cereal to chow down while I watch Saturday cartoons
I sit down on the couch, ready the old boxed T.V. and reception is shit
Well fuck I thought, guess today is going to be horrible!
I began to chow down the cereal when I heard voices from behind me, they were done fucking
Curious I looked back and with a sudden shock I saw something that was out of the fucking blue
It was my sister Kayla walking out half naked and a girl I never seen before with a dildo strapped on her
"Holy FUCK that was something new Sylvia!" Kayla said as she passed by me
The unnamed girl unclasped the strap on following Kayla before she stopped by me
"Oh fuck, Umm Kayla is this your little sister?!"
"Uhh yeah so?"
"Uhhh yeah you said it would just be the two of us for the entire day!"
"Huh, oh yeah! Fuck I'm sorry, it was the alcohol talking!"
*Scoffs* "It was the FUCKING ALCOHOL! Uugh, you never change!"
"Aaaand you still like to fuck me!"
"Damn, love you too!"
Kayla grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat with me on the couch, the unnamed girl did the same
"Sooo Sylvia, this is uh Anya from school and Anya this is my little sister Sylvia, say hi Anya."
"Hi Sylvia, I'm Anya and I am you big sister's temporary 'girlfriend'."
"Temporary girlfriend? Anya babe, the way you fucked me last night may have just promoted you to contractual girlfriend!"
Kayla kissed Anya
"Love you Kayla!"
Kayla turns her head to Sylvia
"Hey Sylv, it's your birthday isn't it?"
'Umm, yes it is.'
"Oh that's neat I guess."
What the fuck kind of response was that!?!
'Uhhm excu---'
I was cut off short
By a tremendous force upon my neck
It felt leathery in texture whiled it pressed even harder against my throat
It was Anya
"TIGHTER, TIGHTER ANYA, KILL THE BITCH!"
"Oh fuck, this is getting me wet!"
As the darkness surrounding the corners of my eyes began to overtake my vision
I saw what ended the nightmare
Kayla's face violently exploded with skin ripping apart and gushes of blood splashing everywhere
From the hole of her face, many tendrils arose and spurted out white fluids
It looked as though it was getting excited from the ecstasy of violence
Waving all around, the tendrils latched onto my legs with piercing suckers, it wanted more violence
I screamed and from that I awoke in reality to face the shining moonlight via the window
It was another nightmare.
These nightmares begun to happen instantly on the night of my 14th birthday
Frequently they assaulted me every night
Each dream was always vile; Horrendously violent and very grossly sexual in nature
Each one felt like something wanted me to see these grotesque gore pornos
Each dream always involved 'It'
'It' was always quick to pop in once the sacred Humanly body has been violated in the night lands
'It' was always in demand of a supply that shouldn't had ever existed in the first place
'It' bore no name to which the few weeks onwards I tried and failed to name it
This thing was impossible to name, it's form too random and hideous
The shapes and colours it chooses to appear in are random yet all unique insults to Life
For every chance I get to see it's new form can be seen as a kind of blessing, it always wakes me up
Waking up is entirely a new nightmare in the waking world to see myself through
Hot sweat covers and clogs every pore of my body, acne of every sickening quality infest my skin
An explosion of a sour acidic fluid quickly ascends forth from the back of my throat; harsh coughs follow
Every muscle welcomes my awakening with the tightest grips and the sharpest cramps
A foul smell always emanate from my pelvic regions;blood, waste and sexual fluids
Dried yet painful drops of prolonged crying can felt from my red veined eyes
Morning sun shines itself into my room as the now normal stomps climbing up can heard again
Looking blankly at the wall and hearing the door open fast I feel as though I am barely even alive
Barely alive to even care anymore about the soiled bed sheets and the foul smelling room
Somebody had to wash them and entered through the door they did; Mother
Mother as always in that usual knife sharpened corner frowned face of hatred always shouted aloud
"God-Dammit Sylvia! You're not a freaking child anymore! Get your crap together!"
With her head held high and eyes refusing to acknowledge me she said mockingly while taking a whiff
"Now for today's weather forecast of dysfunctional Sylvia!Mmmmh! You smell aaaahh (pause) awful!"
Despite my best efforts to repel the feeling of shame away from my insides; the sharp heat of failed resolve begins to boil up from within and like some sickly concoction did the potion of utter self-guilt hit me harder than any of the fists that my previous numerous lines of step-fathers could have ever inflicted.
My mother twirled away towards the door frame and as she marched out down the hallways; she echoed out before traversing down the stairwell.
"Sorry kid; go get yourself clean please!"
I should have felt hatred against her, a raging pulsation of the furious need to enact a heinous revenge for her continued impulsive actions of abuse but whenever that spark of rage begins to set alight the inner fire I only saw the illumination of myself in the inner depths of the blackest core of the thing that was my soul. Whatever inflicted mother to act in such a way was also somewhat present in me and whatever caused the inner curse to first begin developing was somehow in a way linked to me too.
I don't know why but I am certain that this is somehow my fault and always has been; reasoning was never my cup of tea since it had never once demanded for me to use it throughout my life.
I got up while still looking down, a bottle of sharp shame from deep within and a motion of rubber-like fragility that cursed my legs to shake whenever I took another step.
I walked into the bathroom and as unwanted as it is I did my expected new routines: First feel for any parts of clothing that dried onto skin, secondly is to peel it off and finally was the unclothing of both the sweated baked bra to the foul smelling fluid packed underwear of putried shame. I had to do this every morning and all the while it was my strict inner warnings to simply do one thing; never look in the mirror.
Here it is:
I can feel her hate once more as I open my eyes to a new morning
She was here, not physically here but more like in my dreams
From what I know about her is that once she sets her eyes on you, she never lets go
She is not of this world but most likely from far away
Since I can feel her in my dreams and because of her I see other 'things' from other worlds
Traversing the dreamscape they go about, in forms revolting against all we see as normal
They pass by because it is their dreamscape not mine, she cursed my there
She wants me
She wants me
She wants me to look at her
Despite her hating me, through the constant malicious abuse she gives
Pricking the strings of casualty against me anyway she wants to
Because I am her property, I bore the Emblem of the Fertilant Petal
An emblem only forced upon one by the hand of one's own Mother
Sacrificing defective offspring for a more suitable child
And it is that I am to die
No matter what I do, even though I just killed my own mother a few days ago, she is still there
My name is Sylvia, I am 14 years old, I live in Long Shore County south of the Grand Syverian River
This is my story from beginning to my eventual end
This is where I died 7 months ago on my 14th birthday
When Mommy burnt the Petals into my fleshy soil.
Number 1
Today is my birthday
I awoke in my cramped small bedroom with sunlight beaming upon my freckled face
It's Saturday, Mommy is at work and my older sister is evidently here
I can tell by the loud fucking happening across the hallway and the strong stench of alcohol
Don't know who's the dude, too many to guess right
Since it's my birthday and I am feeling lucky, probably a high schooler
Can't be to specific especially with her, she's been with a lot of guys
I get up, got out of my room, down the hallway towards the kitchen
I prepared a simple milk and chocolate cereal to chow down while I watch Saturday cartoons
I sit down on the couch, ready the old boxed T.V. and reception is shit
Well fuck I thought, guess today is going to be horrible!
I began to chow down the cereal when I heard voices from behind me, they were done fucking
Curious I looked back and with a sudden shock I saw something that was out of the fucking blue
It was my sister Kayla walking out half naked and a girl I never seen before with a dildo strapped on her
"Holy FUCK that was something new Sylvia!" Kayla said as she passed by me
The unnamed girl unclasped the strap on following Kayla before she stopped by me
"Oh fuck, Umm Kayla is this your little sister?!"
"Uhh yeah so?"
"Uhhh yeah you said it would just be the two of us for the entire day!"
"Huh, oh yeah! Fuck I'm sorry, it was the alcohol talking!"
*Scoffs* "It was the FUCKING ALCOHOL! Uugh, you never change!"
"Aaaand you still like to fuck me!"
"Damn, love you too!"
Kayla grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat with me on the couch, the unnamed girl did the same
"Sooo Sylvia, this is uh Anya from school and Anya this is my little sister Sylvia, say hi Anya."
"Hi Sylvia, I'm Anya and I am you big sister's temporary 'girlfriend'."
"Temporary girlfriend? Anya babe, the way you fucked me last night may have just promoted you to contractual girlfriend!"
Kayla kissed Anya
"Love you Kayla!"
Kayla turns her head to Sylvia
"Hey Sylv, it's your birthday isn't it?"
'Umm, yes it is.'
"Oh that's neat I guess."
What the fuck kind of response was that!?!
'Uhhm excu---'
I was cut off short
By a tremendous force upon my neck
It felt leathery in texture whiled it pressed even harder against my throat
It was Anya
"TIGHTER, TIGHTER ANYA, KILL THE BITCH!"
"Oh fuck, this is getting me wet!"
As the darkness surrounding the corners of my eyes began to overtake my vision
I saw what ended the nightmare
Kayla's face violently exploded with skin ripping apart and gushes of blood splashing everywhere
From the hole of her face, many tendrils arose and spurted out white fluids
It looked as though it was getting excited from the ecstasy of violence
Waving all around, the tendrils latched onto my legs with piercing suckers, it wanted more violence
I screamed and from that I awoke in reality to face the shining moonlight via the window
It was another nightmare.
These nightmares begun to happen instantly on the night of my 14th birthday
Frequently they assaulted me every night
Each dream was always vile; Horrendously violent and very grossly sexual in nature
Each one felt like something wanted me to see these grotesque gore pornos
Each dream always involved 'It'
'It' was always quick to pop in once the sacred Humanly body has been violated in the night lands
'It' was always in demand of a supply that shouldn't had ever existed in the first place
'It' bore no name to which the few weeks onwards I tried and failed to name it
This thing was impossible to name, it's form too random and hideous
The shapes and colours it chooses to appear in are random yet all unique insults to Life
For every chance I get to see it's new form can be seen as a kind of blessing, it always wakes me up
Waking up is entirely a new nightmare in the waking world to see myself through
Hot sweat covers and clogs every pore of my body, acne of every sickening quality infest my skin
An explosion of a sour acidic fluid quickly ascends forth from the back of my throat; harsh coughs follow
Every muscle welcomes my awakening with the tightest grips and the sharpest cramps
A foul smell always emanate from my pelvic regions;blood, waste and sexual fluids
Dried yet painful drops of prolonged crying can felt from my red veined eyes
Morning sun shines itself into my room as the now normal stomps climbing up can heard again
Looking blankly at the wall and hearing the door open fast I feel as though I am barely even alive
Barely alive to even care anymore about the soiled bed sheets and the foul smelling room
Somebody had to wash them and entered through the door they did; Mother
Mother as always in that usual knife sharpened corner frowned face of hatred always shouted aloud
"God-Dammit Sylvia! You're not a freaking child anymore! Get your crap together!"
With her head held high and eyes refusing to acknowledge me she said mockingly while taking a whiff
"Now for today's weather forecast of dysfunctional Sylvia!Mmmmh! You smell aaaahh (pause) awful!"
Despite my best efforts to repel the feeling of shame away from my insides; the sharp heat of failed resolve begins to boil up from within and like some sickly concoction did the potion of utter self-guilt hit me harder than any of the fists that my previous numerous lines of step-fathers could have ever inflicted.
My mother twirled away towards the door frame and as she marched out down the hallways; she echoed out before traversing down the stairwell.
"Sorry kid; go get yourself clean please!"
I should have felt hatred against her, a raging pulsation of the furious need to enact a heinous revenge for her continued impulsive actions of abuse but whenever that spark of rage begins to set alight the inner fire I only saw the illumination of myself in the inner depths of the blackest core of the thing that was my soul. Whatever inflicted mother to act in such a way was also somewhat present in me and whatever caused the inner curse to first begin developing was somehow in a way linked to me too.
I don't know why but I am certain that this is somehow my fault and always has been; reasoning was never my cup of tea since it had never once demanded for me to use it throughout my life.
I got up while still looking down, a bottle of sharp shame from deep within and a motion of rubber-like fragility that cursed my legs to shake whenever I took another step.
I walked into the bathroom and as unwanted as it is I did my expected new routines: First feel for any parts of clothing that dried onto skin, secondly is to peel it off and finally was the unclothing of both the sweated baked bra to the foul smelling fluid packed underwear of putried shame. I had to do this every morning and all the while it was my strict inner warnings to simply do one thing; never look in the mirror.
