Hope is strange. Some say you should indulge the wonderful feelings of hope without attaching yourself to any particular outcome. I'm not sure it would qualify as hope anymore in that sense, but maybe the point is to be present and enjoy what's happening now without basing that hope on a future outcome. Do these awful things that happened with the apartment and boy change how happy you were in the moment? No, though memory is subjective and may betray us in times like this. It's an odd thought. Happiness is not something that can be achieved and is certainly fleeting in most cases. I think it's more spontaneous than we think, and not nearly as common for many of us than movies like to pretend… so why strive for it? When I feel happy, it's pretty cool, and it's made even better if I can keep from wondering if I'll be happy tomorrow, too. Though it can't be generated, it can easily be destroyed… if happiness happens so infrequently, it seems silly to deny it when it presents itself to us. I don't know what I'm even saying this has turned into a rant that may mean nothing to you. I sometimes feel like a child throwing a tantrum. "If I can't have the whole carton of ice cream then I don't even want a bowl." Logically, one should accept the bowl.