Discussion Homeless or an abusive home?

[Hunter]

If you had a choice between being homeless or being housed but dealing with emotional abuse for months/years on end (after enduring it for 18+ years), which would you choose?

Assume the abuse is not likely to stop, even with family/couples therapy and you would be financially dependent. Also assume that you have no other support system and are not partnered.

Looking for honest, thoughtful responses. I'm not necessarily looking for advice, just more what you personally would choose and why.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Not taking the abuse and leaving seems like the righteous choice, but in practice, well, homelessness really blows. I think for me, the key would be to emotionally distance myself from any harassment, and basically just keep my head down and survive. My comfort and quality of life is paramount to me.

 

[Hunter]

Not taking the abuse and leaving seems like the righteous choice, but in practice, well, homelessness really blows. I think for me, the key would be to emotionally distance myself from any harassment, and basically just keep my head down and survive. My comfort and quality of life is paramount to me.

So you would take the housing… And just try to avoid the abuse?

 

[Final Escape]

So you would take the housing… And just try to avoid the abuse?

I would go homeless but I have such a low threshold for other people's bullshit lol! Ok being female it's easier to get taken in by someone but if you're a guy it's slightly easier to be homeless.

 

[Logic]

If you had a choice between being homeless or being housed but dealing with emotional abuse for months/years on end (after enduring it for 18+ years), which would you choose?

Assume the abuse is not likely to stop, even with family/couples therapy and you would be financially dependent. Also assume that you have no other support system and are not partnered.

Looking for honest, thoughtful responses. I'm not necessarily looking for advice, just more what you personally would choose and why.

Where do you live? Do you have a car? How old are you?

 

[Final Escape]

So you would take the housing… And just try to avoid the abuse?

Do you have any friends that u could stay with. What's that site where you can couch surf? I heard of something like this.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

In my case, after I stopped living with an abusive parent, I'd still meet cruel people. Perhaps because, unconsciously, I was looking to be beaten up psychologically by someone who resembled him, metaphorically, let's say. What I'm trying to say is that there is no guarantee of finding peace just because you change your environment. Of course, there is the possibility: and we live for that possibility, and I would prefer to go homeless and try to figure something out... Being aware of the current political and social times we are living, it's a pretty tough scenario as well.

 

[Hunter]

Where do you live? Do you have a car? How old are you?

Sorry I don't give my age/location out here, it's a dangerous world....

Yes I have a car.

 

[Hunter]

Do you have any friends that u could stay with. What's that site where you can couch surf? I heard of something like this.

If I had friends I could stay with I wouldn't be homeless. And I don't do couchsurfing.com that would be a quick invite to negative attention.

 

[Final Escape]

If I had friends I could stay with I wouldn't be homeless. And I don't do couchsurfing.com that would be a quick invite to negative attention.

Oh ok, why no friends? I mean I understand because I virtually have no friends who I see often and one reason is because I moved to a new city. Also because I'm working for my self it's isolating on top of it. I didn't have many friends ever so I get it.

 

[Hunter]

Oh ok, why no friends? I mean I understand because I virtually have no friends who I see often and one reason is because I moved to a new city. Also because I'm working for my self it's isolating on top of it. I didn't have many friends ever so I get it.

Are you asking me why I have no friends? If so, chronic illness and suicidality sorted out the wheat from the chaff quickly - turns out all of mine decided I was not worth having in their lives anymore. So I'm alone now.

I'm sure once I'm dead they will suddenly act shocked/surprised however. I accept these terms, so long as I can be dead.

 

[Final Escape]

Are you asking me why I have no friends? If so, chronic illness and suicidality sorted out the wheat from the chaff quickly - turns out all of mine decided I was not worth having in their lives anymore. So I'm alone now.

I'm sure once I'm dead they will suddenly act shocked/surprised however. I accept these terms, so long as I can be dead.

Oh wow! Those aren't friends then :( I'm sorry this is happening to u. Do you have no hope of escaping homelessness?

 

[Hunter]

Oh wow! Those aren't friends then :( I'm sorry this is happening to u. Do you have no hope of escaping homelessness?

Homelessness is not my core reason for killing myself. I am killing myself because of irreversible chronic illness. I don't really want to get into it.

 

[Final Escape]

Homelessness is not my core reason for killing myself. I am killing myself because of irreversible chronic illness. I don't really want to get into it.

No worries, I understand. Are you goin to be ok tonight?

 

[Hunter]

No worries, I understand. Are you goin to be ok tonight?

Yes thank you for asking. I've been parking at a local Walmart since it's 24-hour and there's many drifters here in RVs and cars. The cops leave me alone here.

Someone did knock on my window earlier today so I drove away quickly. The local people here are starting to recognize me and possibly suspect I'm homeless so I have to leave this area soon.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes thank you for asking. I've been parking at a local Walmart since it's 24-hour and there's many drifters here in RVs and cars. The cops leave me alone here.

Someone did knock on my window earlier today so I drove away quickly. The local people here are starting to recognize me and possibly suspect I'm homeless so I have to leave this area soon.

Oh yea, so u have to move around to different areas of the city every so often?

 

[Hunter]

Oh yea, so u have to move around to different areas of the city every so often?

Yeah… Believe it or not, being homeless is actually a lot more work than having a home. Mentally, physically… It's exhausting because you're not really welcome anywhere that you go for an extended period of time. If you're in your car, you always have to be careful about where you park your car and whether there's cops around. Once people know that you're homeless, people don't really treat you the same level of dignity as somebody who is housed and if you're sensitive/have trust issues already, this experience can make your issues a lot worse.

I was actually thinking about doing a short guide on how to survive on the streets/rubber tramping because there's a lot of considerations - like restrooms, safety, places to sleep, power for devices etc. I'm not sure if people here will find that useful since it's not actually related to suicide and I don't feel like getting verbally trampled on again so maybe not.

 

[Hopeless_soul]

Yeah… Believe it or not, being homeless is actually a lot more work than having a home. Mentally, physically… It's exhausting because you're not really welcome anywhere that you go for an extended period of time. If you're in your car, you always have to be careful about where you park your car and whether there's cops around. Once people know that you're homeless, people don't really treat you the same level of dignity as somebody who is housed and if you're sensitive/have trust issues already, this experience can make your issues a lot worse.

I was actually thinking about doing a short guide on how to survive on the streets/rubber tramping because there's a lot of considerations - like restrooms, safety, places to sleep, power for devices etc. I'm not sure if people here will find that useful since it's not actually related to suicide and I don't feel like getting verbally trampled on again so maybe not.

One day I experienced living in a car. It exhausts you mentally and physically. But I didn't come close to what you are experiencing now. I really hope everything gets better for you.

 

[Final Escape]

Yeah… Believe it or not, being homeless is actually a lot more work than having a home. Mentally, physically… It's exhausting because you're not really welcome anywhere that you go for an extended period of time. If you're in your car, you always have to be careful about where you park your car and whether there's cops around. Once people know that you're homeless, people don't really treat you the same level of dignity as somebody who is housed and if you're sensitive/have trust issues already, this experience can make your issues a lot worse.

I was actually thinking about doing a short guide on how to survive on the streets/rubber tramping because there's a lot of considerations - like restrooms, safety, places to sleep, power for devices etc. I'm not sure if people here will find that useful since it's not actually related to suicide and I don't feel like getting verbally trampled on again so maybe not.

I'd be interested in hearing about this stuff because you just never know. This can absolutely happen to me. I'm actually pretty vulnerable because I don't have many supports.

 

[Hunter]

I'd be interested in hearing about this stuff because you just never know. This can absolutely happen to me. I'm actually pretty vulnerable because I don't have many supports.

Yes, to anybody reading this post - unless you are independently wealthy, YES this can absolutely happen to you. You are never more than a couple of risk factors away from this. Before, my life was relatively normal… I struggled with mental health issues but I was gainfully employed, able-bodied, and financially self-sufficient.

As more and more people descend into poverty in this country, more people will end up in my situation. You will become an easy target for stealing, judgment, and being pushed around by people in authority positions. In fact, I would go so far as to say that you will see more posters like me in this forum in the future. So it would behoove you to be prepared for the very worst.

 

[Duqu]

I HAVE done the homeless to get out of the home and it was SO MUCH worse.
*TW*

I was a younger teen and ended up getting sucked into a underage sexual prostitution ring where I had my body and mind ripped to shreds on a daily basis. I didn't get out until I was 18. I'm still dealing with what happened and I'm almost 31. NOT. GOOD. I wish I had thought of something else; a youth shelter, staying with friends, ANYTHING else.

 

[Logic]

Sorry I don't give my age/location out here, it's a dangerous world....

Yes I have a car.

What part of the country you live or around you age matters a lot because it darastically changes what being homeless would be like! For instance if you are below 21 you could normally go live with a foster family! The culture on the west coast of America is darastically different than the east coast etc. their a million different factors, I can't properly answer the question without general information

 

[Hunter]

What part of the country you live or around you age matters a lot because it darastically changes what being homeless would be like! For instance if you are below 21 you could normally go live with a foster family! The culture on the west coast of America is darastically different than the east coast etc. their a million different factors, I can't properly answer the question without general information

It's okay. I'm adapting for now. If my car gets taken away from me I'm going to ctb immediately though.

 

[TheCrow]

Are you asking me why I have no friends? If so, chronic illness and suicidality sorted out the wheat from the chaff quickly - turns out all of mine decided I was not worth having in their lives anymore. So I'm alone now.

I'm sure once I'm dead they will suddenly act shocked/surprised however. I accept these terms, so long as I can be dead.

Same.

 

[TheCrow]

I HAVE done the homeless to get out of the home and it was SO MUCH worse.
*TW*

I was a younger teen and ended up getting sucked into a underage sexual prostitution ring where I had my body and mind ripped to shreds on a daily basis. I didn't get out until I was 18. I'm still dealing with what happened and I'm almost 31. NOT. GOOD. I wish I had thought of something else; a youth shelter, staying with friends, ANYTHING else.

Omg, I'm so sorry.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Yes thank you for asking. I've been parking at a local Walmart since it's 24-hour and there's many drifters here in RVs and cars. The cops leave me alone here.

Someone did knock on my window earlier today so I drove away quickly. The local people here are starting to recognize me and possibly suspect I'm homeless so I have to leave this area soon.

Hey I'm in the same situation I've been living out of a car staying at Walmart's.

 

[Pulpit2018]

Homeless,obviously.Depending on your location,resources,smarts thats not the end of the world.A ton of people are homeless or like-homeless (camping,van,etc..)

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Yes thank you for asking. I've been parking at a local Walmart since it's 24-hour and there's many drifters here in RVs and cars. The cops leave me alone here.

Someone did knock on my window earlier today so I drove away quickly. The local people here are starting to recognize me and possibly suspect I'm homeless so I have to leave this area soon.

Bit of advice you should have a few different spots during the day then only go to Walmart at night and block all the windows. That's how I get by. Park in areas that has no one around.

 

[Aesthler]

Both are tough situations to deal with, I guess it really comes down to what your breaking points are and what lengths you're willing to go. Some people avoid homelessness at all costs, others just can't seem to handle the abuse and leave at a drop of the hat. I've been stranded in a Walmart parking lot before with a car and no money. I feel like I'd survive okay in the urban wilderness if I had no other choice but for me that's what it would take.

 

[Final Escape]

Hey I'm in the same situation I've been living out of a car staying at Walmart's.

Awww... I'm sorry :(