Holy shit, I am so paranoid

[Captive of Mind]

I've been looking into getting a hotel for 2 days now and I keep having so many reasons why they will know what I'm up to. Then a guest will hear me throwing up and making noise and tell the hotel staff. When they try to check up on me and I don't answer the door or phone call, they might call the cops. I called 4 hotels and asked if they have corner rooms available and I felt like they were suspicious.

Then I think that the hotel is too risky and I should do it in my car, but I've had cops kick me out of areas for sleeping in my car before. I don't want to risk a random person finding me there either.

I feel stuck and just wanted to let everyone know why I haven't been able to execute my plan like I said I was. I feel so crazy and I can't think straight, I just want to do this and have the peace of mind that I won't get caught.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

What about a truck stop parking lot? Semi drivers and other people pull over there to sleep.

 

[Captive of Mind]

What about a truck stop parking lot? Semi drivers and other people pull over there to sleep.

Hmm, this could be a good idea. I just fear that someone will come check on me when I start throwing up and making noise.

Hmm, this could be a good idea. I just fear that someone will come check on me when I start throwing up and making noise.

I think something that is making me think that people will be so concerned and called the front desk at the hotel is because of covid.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Unlike a hotel, it's free to go scope one out. You could do a dry run, even make vomiting sounds.

 

[Captive of Mind]

I didn't think of that before, maybe I should. My mind feels like a jumbled mess. It's getting difficult to do anything at all.

 

[RedDEE]

Don't do a hotel do a motel.

 

[Captive of Mind]

Don't do a hotel do a motel.

How come?

 

[OfThePraxicOrder]

I've been staying in hotels for the past two months, and from my experience, depending on the area, a lot of hotels aren't really being booked right now, so there isn't that many people around. Another thing I have noticed is that people don't really care about hotel neighbors, most people just use them to sleep and thats it, most of the time a hotle will be empty until night time.

 

[RedDEE]

How come?

Because with a hotel, it's inside. With a motel you get a room that's outside, and away from the staff.

I used to live a motel. Staff and people that stay at motels are used to used to hearing all kinds of crazy noises. Sex noises, dogs barking. You name it. Put on some music, or turn the tv up a little loud, and it'll block out all noise.

 

[Captive of Mind]

I've been staying in hotels for the past two months, and from my experience, depending on the area, a lot of hotels aren't really being booked right now, so there isn't that many people around. Another thing I have noticed is that people don't really care about hotel neighbors, most people just use them to sleep and thats it, most of the time a hotle will be empty until night time.

Thank you for the reassurance. I know I am going to end up getting the courage to book the hotel and power through the anxiety. My paranoia is tearing me to shreds though.. Maybe I should wait until a weekday and do it during the day time so no one will be in the rooms. Maybe around 2 pm.

 

[RedDEE]

Thank you for the reassurance. I know I am going to end up getting the courage to book the hotel and power through the anxiety. My paranoia is tearing me to shreds though.. Maybe I should wait until a weekday and do it during the day time so no one will be in the rooms. Maybe around 2 pm.

I think this 'paranoia' you have of booking a hotel room and making noise, is actually a manifestation of your fear of death. What are you really paranoid about, getting the hotel room, or drinking the SN?

 

[Captive of Mind]

I think this 'paranoia' you have of booking a hotel room and making noise, is actually a manifestation of your fear of death. What are you really paranoid about, getting the hotel room, or drinking the SN?

I have had bad paranoia for many years now, it is a big reason for wanting to ctb. It effects my life in so many ways and no matter how much I know my thoughts are irrational, they still hold just as much weight as if they were true. I'm not worried about drinking the SN at all, I'm worried about getting caught.

 

[OfThePraxicOrder]

Most hotels have a check in time of either 2pm or 3pm, so when you book you won't be able to get the room at that time, you could call ahead after you book to see if the room is available(they usually do housekeeping between 12-3), and check out is ether 11am or noon.

 

[RedDEE]

I have had bad paranoia for many years now, it is a big reason for wanting to ctb. It effects my life in so many ways and no matter how much I know my thoughts are irrational, they still hold just as much weight as if they were true. I'm not worried about drinking the SN at all, I'm worried about getting caught.

Trust me - find the seediest, cheapest, shittiest, filthiest motel you can find. Those kind of motels are for prostitution, drug deals, mobile meth labs, and all other sorts of scandalous activities. Nobody is going to give a fuck what sounds they hear coming from your room.

Besides, if you have an anti-emetic and have been properly following Stan's routine, there's little chance you'll throw up anyway.

 

[rt1989526]

Trust me - find the seediest, cheapest, shittiest, filthiest motel you can find. Those kind of motels are for prostitution, drug deals, mobile meth labs, and all other sorts of scandalous activities. Nobody is going to give a fuck what sounds they hear coming from your room.

Besides, if you have an anti-emetic and have been properly following Stan's routine, there's little chance you'll throw up anyway.

From everything we've gathered on this site it shows you will very likely vomit even with an anti emetic and need to re-dose.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

From everything we've gathered on this site it shows you will very likely vomit even with an anti emetic and need to re-dose.

Not accurate.

 

[RedDEE]

From everything we've gathered on this site it shows you will very likely vomit even with an anti emetic and need to re-dose.

Who is we exactly?

 

[rt1989526]

Not accurate.

Hope you're right.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Hope you're right.

If you'd read "everything we've gathered on this site" and you were confident in your assertion, that would not be your response.

Nothing against you personally, I've never felt compelled to say anything against one of your posts. I simply take issue with these kinds of claims.

Edit: @RedDEE wasn't accurate either.