Archness
Defective Personel
- Jan 20, 2023
- 460
The word "Hikikomori" would literally translate to "Pulling Inward".
Recently my dissociation has become v.bad . It's like I'm outright suicidal and depressed but my brain's gaslighting itself. I feel okay and even happy living like this, being worthless trash, doing nothing but mooching... But I'm loosing the ability to care at all. From being naturally "Defective" to having to live in current society, honestly I would've been off better if I was born 5, 10, or some years ago.
Really goes to show things don't always "Get better". It could just happen to everyone else after I die. But such lies are how humans survive.
The species at least, not really the individuals who aren't lucky enough to have it come true.
All this "Pulling Inward" could make one into a blackhole, whatever that entails. I should and could just kill myself at that irrecoverable point.
At that point, there could be no guilt or harm, no one would really care. The parents, blatantly lying, would probably be alleviated of a burden.
Everyone's praying on the 0% chance I just "Snap out of it", but truth of the matter is that there's no place for me in this world, there's only this pit, and the whole world's a crater now.
Recently my dissociation has become v.bad . It's like I'm outright suicidal and depressed but my brain's gaslighting itself. I feel okay and even happy living like this, being worthless trash, doing nothing but mooching... But I'm loosing the ability to care at all. From being naturally "Defective" to having to live in current society, honestly I would've been off better if I was born 5, 10, or some years ago.
Really goes to show things don't always "Get better". It could just happen to everyone else after I die. But such lies are how humans survive.
The species at least, not really the individuals who aren't lucky enough to have it come true.
All this "Pulling Inward" could make one into a blackhole, whatever that entails. I should and could just kill myself at that irrecoverable point.
At that point, there could be no guilt or harm, no one would really care. The parents, blatantly lying, would probably be alleviated of a burden.
Everyone's praying on the 0% chance I just "Snap out of it", but truth of the matter is that there's no place for me in this world, there's only this pit, and the whole world's a crater now.
