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Taukiri

New Member
Jun 5, 2018
2
This is my first time on this site.
Sorry about my "shish" english.
I'm a Italian/Persian girl of 19 years old and live in turin with my mother and my only older sister.
my father work in Iran, and my parents have been divorced for 5 years old.
in my life, I went in a horrible school for elementary and middle. fortunately, my classmates didn't hurt or beaten often, but they upset me always for my Persian origins and my calm and amenable nature.
My parents couldn't do nothing to help me for this problem for few money.
in High school, I'm so happy for the new classmates, and I became friend with 3 girls: Sorry, Jelly and Neapolitan Asshole... Those names aren't real, of course..
Sorry is the last to come in my class, Jelly and N.A. are here before with me.
On the second year, I start to know a boy much older than me for 2 years, from always my school: Simon. (no real name)
He is a quiet but well-educated guy, and I meet his best friend, Tin, his oppose (A lively boy with a sharp tongue). When I introduced the two boys to the 3 chicks, they want to depart me gently.
initially, I didn't care from this signal and I decide to stay with Simon and Tin.
They are more expansive than the 3 dumbs, above all Neapolitan asshole, the worst.
After 2 months, me and Simon got engaged. Tin decide to stay with us, and respect me and his friend.
I meet Simon's family, mother, father and the little stepsister (11 years old), and I was very happy.
But the problems began: Simon shows himself, a egocentric, obsessive and careless guy; a cause of Simon's mother and his father, Tin budle off from me and Simon (Unbeknownst of both), but he don't succomb; the 3 idiots upset me from behind with the other classmates.
Not a terrible situation, a shit situation...
After a year, I left Simon because we aren't happy (and for his insanity) but I will remains friend.. But he become really annoying and incomprehensible to my regards and I leave to my life.
Tin was the only to remain.. but he went away from the move house after his last year. In my class, there are two groups: the superficial guys, like a nobles and Neapolitan Asshole group, with a tyranny by N.A.
In this class I suffer so much and I fail my summer exams.. with the school rejection.
My family were so angered by my marks, and I suffer more..
Now I'm unhappy.
Yes, I have a better class, better teacher and better situation family but I'm depressed.
I want to die.
at 19 years old, say this phrase, It's a defeat, a great defeat to a girl like me.
Without me, my family will have more money than me alive in 3 years, like a unemployed in a land without work.
I won't this fate.
I want love but nobody cares me so much.I tried to commit suicide 4 times, 2 of these unconscious.
the first was on 16 years old, with an oral pharmaceutical, retching blood.
the second was on this april, with a allergy Symptoms in a scholastic journey.
the third and fourth was more recent with a plastic bag.
We are so much in this world.
I want to return like before, a lovely child.
I hate this world, I hate this people..
I want to be really including.
in the last forum, an Italian forum, they spoke of fried air (of nothingness) and they was more useless than me in this situation.
If here there are italians, please, answer me. If you want die together, I'm present.
 
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Lucas

Lucas

Member
May 26, 2018
81
I hate to be a do-gooder on a board like this, but I'm not sure if you should kill yourself just yet. From what I just read, you are in a pretty stressful situtation right now and you think people expect a lot from you, but those will pass in due time and it won't be forever.
 
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T

Taukiri

New Member
Jun 5, 2018
2
I hate to be a do-gooder on a board like this, but I'm not sure if you should kill yourself just yet. From what I just read, you are in a pretty stressful situtation right now and you think people expect a lot from you, but those will pass in due time and it won't be forever.

in my life the people who care me, they gone away from the situation.
before Simon and Tin, I don't have a friend.. for 8 years, I was really alone.
Videogames, anime, my dreams and lovely stuff, were my anchor.
Now are very useless.. it's so sad.
For 2 years, I'm in this situation.
I'm tired, from my family (oppose by me like mentality), from my school and my depression.
I'm gentle, obvious, well-educated with all. I don't see nothing to positive.
nobody want a girl with problem with anxiety.
Because of this, I can't study very well, and fail some exams (Math and Physics).
I no longer have will...
My hopes went out with my rejection..
Really, i love my family, but with my life, I suffer they. I don't want it.
"Gahh, Problems of this kind can be solved!! It's just a matter of commitment. Ewww, there are people who suffer the.."
Really, THESE PHRASES ARE STUPID.
really, these are stupid.
It's depends by sensibly and the situations.
Only this.
For me, it is not a life.
It's a prison in a corpse who lives.
 
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T

tMartin

Member
May 28, 2018
33
Ciao e benvenuta :) . Io preferisco fare da solo, ma leggevo che c'era un altro italiano in cerca di un partner.
 
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