I'm really glad to hear you say that you are going to work on recovery. That's truly wonderful. I would not want anyone to feel like I do...that they cannot bear this any longer. I could not have imagined this, and I have been through a lot, which I won't go into. I can only say that if others were injured as I was and feeling as I do, and they had a way out, they would go. This is not natural, not human. Not how God wants it. I still believe and I love Him. Sometimes, I struggle to imagine Heaven or hell. I'm scared. I don't want to go to hell. I don't want to hurt my family but this chemical injury is not livable, or human.
@highwaytoheaven I agree. Most should not give up on life, many on here should not and thankfully, they do not. But there's a handful of us on here suffering so atrociously... nervous system, chemical damage from pharmaceuticals, medical injury, etc, that just can NOT continue on. It's inhumane suffering. INHUMANE. Look up YouTube videos on akathisia. How would you cope if your skin felt like it was on fire half the time, with pins and needles (clothes hurt even worse), you were so restless during the day that you couldn't sit still through a meal, you are only sleeping 2-4 hours of broken sleep on average, sound is like 2x as loud as it should be, you are overstimulated and can't handle normal conversations with your own family, you have tremors and muscle fisculations, get goosebumps just running your hands on your skin or through your hair, your personality has changed such that you can no longer connect as a human being...you are now a human repellant and have lost your relationships, your marriage is falling apart, you are losing everything.....all from an iron infusion that you got to try to feel better. THIS on top of stomach lining damage, similar to gastritis. So your stomach feels like a raw knot always, gnawing, despite the most bland and mushy foods you eat every day to sustain the measly 115 lbs you now weigh ....all the while you watch your family eat and drink all the good that life has to offer, enjoy life, health and activity. Then your spouse yells at you to just fix yourself, go read scripture and books on Christian suffering, you are terrible for not going to church (since it's hard to be around others or sit still). Oh, and all this in top of your pre existing anxiety, OCD. There's no medication, nothing to help you. And of course, now the worst depression you can possibly imagine. Does this sound like Job?!! Because I don't even think Job had to endure something like this. Then you are going to tell me to have hope enough to stay alive??! That I must endure this for another 30 years or so? Step in my shoes and try it all on.
I know you came on to encourage others and as I said, I am a Christian but for some of us, you can NOT possibly imagine this hell.
