Help Hesitating to ctb because I love my parents

[cicadafriend]

Basically what the title says, they're always doing little things for me like picking up snacks or getting something at the store if they think I'd like it, watching tv with me, etc. They even helped me find the job I have now. Obviously this doesn't fix things but it's making planning really hard. I hate that I would cause them a lot of pain, part of me wants to run away so that they can still believe that I'm alive. Not sure how to overcome this, any advice would be much appreciated

 

[ARW3N]

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all only you know if you should ctb, none of us are obligated to continue existing here and it would be inhumane expecting someone to suffer against their wishes, it's a personal decision deciding when to leave. I just wish that people wouldn't bring life into this cruel world in the first place so then nobody would have to go through loss, which is inevitable as long as one exists here, we all have to die someday. There is too much suffering in existing.

 

[cicadafriend]

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

20, was in college but living with family for the summer

 

[ARW3N]

I had a tough time at your age. My mother was institutionalised with postnatal depression. She's now got dementia. My father is elderly but still alive. I too don't want to cause them grief. It's a problem. I hope you weren't offended when I asked you about your age. Unfortunately, there are a lot of pro-lifers masquerading as the suicidal.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

They sound really nice. Depends on your reasons for wanting to CTB I guess, how much pain you're in, how long you've felt this way, how fixable your depression and/or problems are etc. If you don't really want to do it though, don't. If they helped you with a job maybe they can help you with whatever your reasons are for wanting to CTB?

 

[tuey32]

Same position. Wish I had an answer but for now I can't just leave my mom alone