Here's a pretty good article on being suicidal. what do you guys think?

[Rachel]

This was written by an author who has/had(?) suicidal thoughts. The first time I read it, it was weird. Like I felt like my brain was being deconstructed as I read it. I'm curious as to what you guys think of it?

https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...-what-it-feels-like-to-want-to-kill-yourself/

 

[bigj75]

The Falling Short of Standards part hits huge with me. I was pressured by my father to be a sports star and I failed due to health circumstances out of my control at the time. Its such a huge motivator for ctb because everything else I accomplish in life falls short of my own expectations for myself. I've noticed that motivation for ctb is very high in china/Japan. They always kill themselves over there if they don't get straight A's and get into the college they want.

 

[Jerryman]

Interesting read, thanks for sharing. The first bit fits me, people had very high expectations of me that I have not lived up to.

I liked the ending where it was noted we are going to die one day anyway and our lives are the blink of the cosmic eye. This gives me comfort, however the part where it mentions time slowing down during suffering I also find true for me.

 

[okyeah]

Surprisingly good read. There's a simpler model for suicide I saw which is just alienation + the willpower to commit the act. But this article is more detailed and describes my bitterness nicely!

 

[Final Escape]

This was written by an author who has/had(?) suicidal thoughts. The first time I read it, it was weird. Like I felt like my brain was being deconstructed as I read it. I'm curious as to what you guys think of it?

https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...-what-it-feels-like-to-want-to-kill-yourself/

It's pretty deep and lengthy, I had to save it for later.

 

[0blivi0n]

Surprisingly rather accurate? I found the part on Cognitive Deconstruction interesting; the idea of 'emotional deadness' hit home- it feels like someone put my head under a microscope..
Thanks for the read

 

[Maravillosa]

Jesse Bering, the author of the article, has recently published a new book on suicide. The UK title is A Very Human Ending: How Suicide Haunts Our Species:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Very-Human...535217655&sr=8-1&keywords=a+very+human+ending

And the US title is Suicidal: Why We Kill Ourselves:

https://www.amazon.com/Suicidal-Why...swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1538696337&sr=1-1

I intend to buy an electronic copy of the book once it is released in the US. (After all, my mother would be suspicious if I were to buy a hard copy of a book called Suicidal.)

Here is the beginning of the first chapter of the book, which I think displays a lyrical writing style (a good thing, in my opinion):

Just behind my former home in upstate New York, in a small, dense pocket of woods, stood an imposing lichen-covered oak tree built by a century of sun and dampness and frost, its hardened veins crisscrossing on the forest floor. It was one of many such specimens in this copse of dappled shadows, birds, and well-worn deer tracks, but this particular tree held out a single giant limb crooked as an elbow, a branch so deliberately poised that whenever I'd stroll past it while out with the dogs on our morning walks, it beckoned me.

It was the perfect place, I thought, to hang myself.

I'd had fleeting suicidal feelings since my late teenage years. But now I was being haunted day and night by what was, in fact, a not altogether displeasing image of my corpse spinning ever so slowly from a rope tied around this creaking, pain-relieving branch. It's an absurd thought -- that I could have observed my own dead body as if I'd casually stumbled upon it. And what good would my death serve if it meant having to view it through the eyes of the very same head that I so desperately wanted to escape from in the first place?

Nonetheless, I couldn't help but fixate on this hypothetical scene of the lifeless, pirouetting dummy, this discarded sad sack whose long-suffering owner had been liberated from a world in which he didn't truly belong.​

As for the article (which is also excellently written, in my opinion), I think that the first four of the steps (falling short of standards; attributions to self; high self-awareness and negative affect) apply to me at this time. Since I am not imminently suicidal, the final two steps (cognitive deconstruction and disinhibition) do not currently apply to me.

 

[okyeah]

I think I have stepped into the cognitive deconstruction area in my life. For me, it has just been realizing that there is no real way to reason through wanting to live and that talking and thinking about things is pretty meaningless. I have lost all curiosity. I have a repetitive job that is filled with procedure. Social interaction is stupid and is not worth pursuing because I won't get anything meaningful out of it. It's just the time to buckle down and do it or not - there is nothing I haven't thought through.

 

[Suicideisnirvana]

I don't recognize myself in this at all. I like myself and personality well enough and don't think i'm inferior to others in that respect nor do i feel any guilt or of being undeserving of love or esteem, i know for a fact i would be loved and appreciated if i was good looking, my problem is more with looks than the self and the inside.