Venting helpless, should i hospitalize myself?

[picklealex]

ive never felt so hopeless in my life before. i feel depressed, insanely depressed. i know if i dont hospitalize myself right now, that i'm going to end my life. i am planning to get out of my house at night, and go to a bridge near me and jump off. or walk around at midnight hoping maybe someone sees me and calls for help. i just want to be helped, but i feel pathetic asking for it. im insanely tired and don't know what to do. should i hospitalize myself?

 

[-Link-]

I feel like if you were so determined to end your life, then you wouldn't even be considering the idea of hospitalization.

With a choice between hospitalization or death, and with the presence of this hesitation, yes, I would encourage you to try the hospital.

 

[killorbekilled]

Will you regret CTB? If so, hospitalize yourself instead.

 

[metothemoon]

I feel exactly the same. It is so frustrating. Feel like everything is going bad (again) but not allowing my self to ask for help. Just want someone to notice. However nobody does. Do not know how much longer I can take this.

I hope you find the strength to ask for help and give yourself a break

 

[VI48]

Seconding everyone suggesting to go for hospitalization given you seem to be averse to ending your life. Partial hospitalization is a thing as well, if that may work better for your own circumstances.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

Is there someone you can call who can "watch" you so to speak? If it's hospital or death and you're hesitating then yes of course hospital. But I wonder if there might be a third option that is also safe, as the hospital experience for me "saved my life" whilst also leaving me with severe trauma.

 

[James Sunderland]

ive never felt so hopeless in my life before. i feel depressed, insanely depressed. i know if i dont hospitalize myself right now, that i'm going to end my life. i am planning to get out of my house at night, and go to a bridge near me and jump off. or walk around at midnight hoping maybe someone sees me and calls for help. i just want to be helped, but i feel pathetic asking for it. im insanely tired and don't know what to do. should i hospitalize myself?

Hey, I hear you, It's not pathetic to want help, it shows a lot of strength to even consider it. Hospitalizing yourself could be a step toward getting the support you need, especially if you're feeling this overwhelmed. Sometimes it's okay to let others step in when it all feels too heavy to carry alone. Whatever you decide, I'm glad you're reaching out and sharing this.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

If you have to ask whether you should consider treatment instead of CTB, the answer is almost always yes.

 

[willitpass]

The option to CTB never goes away. It will always be there. But the option to get help after you CTB is gone. If there is ever any hesitation or question about CTB vs getting help, the answer is always to get help. If one day down the line after you tried help you decide you still want to CTB the option will still be there. But obviously you aren't at that point. You said yourself you don't truly want it. It cannot be undone. If you do not want to do it, please get help. Call a friend or family member and break down to them if that's easier than directly calling for help. Or walk into an ER and tell them that you can't keep yourself safe. Show up at a close friends doorstep if you have to. But if you do not want to take that final step, please do not do it.

 

[picklealex]

Will you regret CTB? If so, hospitalize yourself instead.

i wont regret it for sure. i am completely decided on doing it if i can, but i also just want help to see if anything works before completely doing it

I feel exactly the same. It is so frustrating. Feel like everything is going bad (again) but not allowing my self to ask for help. Just want someone to notice. However nobody does. Do not know how much longer I can take this.

I hope you find the strength to ask for help and give yourself a break

i hope you can too, i hope everything goes well.

 

[James Sunderland]

i wont regret it for sure. i am completely decided on doing it if i can, but i also just want help to see if anything works before completely doing it

Smart, I get that. It's like you want to give everything a fair shot first. Is there something specific you feel like might help, or maybe something you've been wanting to try?

 

[wren-briar]

I'll sencond @hopelesswanderer 's suggestion of reaching out to a friend.

I'll also add another option, namely a "Peer Respite Center". There are enough respite centers easily available, but if you've got one near you, I strongly suggest reaching out to them.

These are FAR from complete listings, so if you don't see one near you, you may want to do some web searching
- https://power2u.org/directory-of-peer-respites/
- https://www.mhanational.org/mha-peer-programs

Here's just one article on a specific respite - https://californiahealthline.org/ne...rnative-to-psychiatric-wards-during-pandemic/