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lanax09
Experienced
- Apr 17, 2021
- 231
Planning to ctb in about 24 hours; I wrote my suicide note to the best of my ability but it just feels too short, like it's missing something. Or is it fine? (names censored for obvious reasons)
If you're reading this, I'll probably be dead or dying. I have no idea who you are or how much you care to hear, so I'll try to be brief.
I killed myself because of my emotionally abusive mother and my own self-destructive habits, no one else is to blame. My mother is judgemental, controlling, critical, mean, plays the victim, and is extremely reluctant to accept responsibility for (or even recognise) how she affects others. I do not wish to go into more detail and this will end up dragging on if I do. I know that she will never be able to accept that this is her causation and that she will try and accuse me of lying and/or shift the blame onto me or other people (I highly suspect that she will blame ******* and **** in particular; while I might not necessarily like these people, I do not blame them at all for this) and she has succeeded many times in making herself seem innocent. Please take me seriously this time, as I know that people have usually believed my mother over me in the past. Not just for my sake, but for my brother's.
The combined weight of my mother's constant stream of beratement and bullying and my severe lack of motivation to study that leaves me with no hope for a successful future is the source of my suicidal desires, and my mother's anger at me and worsened treatment of me since my seeking help for these feelings has pushed me over the edge earlier than I originally intended. I will kill myself with sleeping pills and a plastic bag. It will not be painful.
To any friends reading this, I'm sorry for hurting you this way; to any teachers reading this, I'm sorry for never doing my homework on time. To any police or whoever the hell it is that handle suicides reading this, please help my brother. And to my dearest mother, see you in hell.
Thanks for reading
If you're reading this, I'll probably be dead or dying. I have no idea who you are or how much you care to hear, so I'll try to be brief.
I killed myself because of my emotionally abusive mother and my own self-destructive habits, no one else is to blame. My mother is judgemental, controlling, critical, mean, plays the victim, and is extremely reluctant to accept responsibility for (or even recognise) how she affects others. I do not wish to go into more detail and this will end up dragging on if I do. I know that she will never be able to accept that this is her causation and that she will try and accuse me of lying and/or shift the blame onto me or other people (I highly suspect that she will blame ******* and **** in particular; while I might not necessarily like these people, I do not blame them at all for this) and she has succeeded many times in making herself seem innocent. Please take me seriously this time, as I know that people have usually believed my mother over me in the past. Not just for my sake, but for my brother's.
The combined weight of my mother's constant stream of beratement and bullying and my severe lack of motivation to study that leaves me with no hope for a successful future is the source of my suicidal desires, and my mother's anger at me and worsened treatment of me since my seeking help for these feelings has pushed me over the edge earlier than I originally intended. I will kill myself with sleeping pills and a plastic bag. It will not be painful.
To any friends reading this, I'm sorry for hurting you this way; to any teachers reading this, I'm sorry for never doing my homework on time. To any police or whoever the hell it is that handle suicides reading this, please help my brother. And to my dearest mother, see you in hell.
Thanks for reading