Method Help with ligature strangulation

[autismblob3]

Hello, this is my first post, probably my last one too, who knows (hopefully the last), i have been trying since yesterday to ctb this way, i really need to ctb before monday, i actually can't take one more day in this hellhole, i used a shoelace that's about 1cm wide, but i can't get it right, i just get the infamous "head exploding feeling", right now i don't have access to partial or full hanging, regardless i don't see myself doing those because last year i tried hanging while locked inside a psych ward and it was excrutiating, i also couldn't commit because when my vision started turning red i would just instinctively untie myself