Help with bad thoughts

[Cleversusie]

I'm still having really intrusive thoughts they're really bad and keeping me awake. I'm not sure what to do cause no one will help me, I'm banned from seeing my mental health team not that they've been any help anyway they just want to see me locked up. I'm not allowed to talk about these thoughts but they are really overwhelming and I dont understand why I cant talk about them and get some help I'm just expected to live with them I guess but I dont think that's fair. Maybe I'm meant to ctb maybe that's what everyone wants. I've thought about asking the crisis team to help but I'm worried they will call the police on me I guess they will know about the investigation. Has anyone got any thoughts on how to control thoughts or is it a case of just ctb that's the only way to get some peace ? I'm a single mum so ctb really is a last option