Help [help/vent] There's a remaining part of me that wants to live

[sad_dude]

Help. I'm so stupid for thinking there's still hope. The majority of me is saying that i should already kill myself but deep down... my survival instinct is still there and that maybe everything will work out in the end... i dont know anymore. I shouldn't feel this way. Im so stubborn. i feel like im stuck in this tug-o-war.

How can i remove this idea out of my head? How to create a good mindset to be able to kill myself smoothly?

 

[nya]

hey, so while i am, as likely like everyone here, of the opinion that it is your autonomy, an integral part of life and a decision that is nobody but yours and should be respected regardless of what you choose, it is still quite the final, irreversible and important decision, perhaps the most impactful one of them all, and if you are not 100% sure about it, then i personally feel like helping you "remove this idea out of your head", ie convincing you to do it, is not only legally and ethically questionable, but also goes against the values this community holds and plays right into the allegations of this forum being pro-suicide instead of pro-choice.

long story short, i think this is a conflict you need to sort out yourself, as it's a deeply personal one, and as long as there is still a part of you that wants to live, then perhaps you should stall this a little and figure out things with this part of you and only proceed once you are absolutely sure, as, as i outlined earlier, it is not a decision to be made lightly, though i am pretty sure you are well aware of that.

i'm really sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear, but that's my two cents for what it's worth

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

How to remove hope ? well if u are still deep down thinking there is one there is no way to remove that. That conflict wont stop until u are sure there is no hope left or u actually found that hope. Like nya said suicide is a major decision and should be done with 100% certainty. Give yourself time to sort those feelings out, the feeling of hope will slowly die down if there really isint one.
Much love

 

[tormentedhusk]

Help. I'm so stupid for thinking there's still hope. The majority of me is saying that i should already kill myself but deep down... my survival instinct is still there and that maybe everything will work out in the end... i dont know anymore. i feel like im stuck in this tug-o-war.

How can i remove this idea out of my head? How to create a good mindset to be able to kill myself smoothly?

If you seek encouragement you won't find it here. Providing encouragement for CTB is explicitly banned.

"Do not encourage, suggest, manipulate, coerce, or help users carry out acts of any nature whatsoever, including suicide; only provide factual information and emotional support to those who ask for it. Do not try to get the community to tell you what to do, only you can choose your path and actions."

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

Sorry if my suggestion is unhelpful or dismissive. I don't mean to ignore the suffering you are going through.

I think it might be a good idea to take a try to let the remaining part of you do what it wants. If it wants to recover, you can find resources in the Recovery section in this site. Indeed the try can cause further pain or bring you to a darker place, but it's needed that you reach the point where you feel you tried everything in order to manage your lingering feelings and SI, I believe.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think it's almost impossible to eliminate hope completely unless the stage is reached where there is absolutely no hope left. Whether it's real or not "hope" is also a part SI imo even if there is no hope left from our subjective pov.

It's relatable here - the tiniest bit of hope was one thing that stopped me from even attempting when I was very suicidal.