help me

[emptywings]

i used to consider myself a dumb, crybaby person bc i had these SI. tbh i'd cry every time my family treated me like shit.

now that i consider myself suicidal, i feel pretty peaceful and happy. ik it sounds so fkn emo saying that, but lemme explain why.

it gives me a lot of peace knowing that, if i want to, i can leave everyone behind. all i have to do is decide to. and that's exactly why i feel at peace and happy. i feel like i'm in control of this. maybe i'm just immature and have a breakdown over literally anything, and this way of looking at things just helps regulate my emotions. knowing i have a method and a plan laid out is just… relaxing. it's like a plan B waiting for me with its arms wide open if i ever decide to do it.

thx SaSu. if u have anything to add to what i said, pls tell me. i like hearing everyone's opinions bc it helps me think things through more.

 

[poplover]

when i was younger, i used to always think that if i screwed everything up i would just join the millitary. it sounds silly, but having a backup plan for my life has helped me feel better about certain things.

 

[emptywings]

when i was younger, i used to always think that if i screwed everything up i would just join the millitary. it sounds silly, but having a backup plan for my life has helped me feel better about certain things.

ohhh me too! when i was a kid, i used to say the exact same thing. a lot of ppl actually recover mentally while they're in the military. maybe i should reconsider it

 

[poplover]

ohhh me too! when i was a kid, i used to say the exact same thing. a lot of ppl actually recover mentally while they're in the military. maybe i should reconsider it

i would say only go for it if you have absolutely nothing else. idk what country you're in, but in the US, there's a reason that they'll pay for your college tuition lol