Anyone else have extreme anxiety and homebound? Anyone able to get over it? I get out a few times a week and quite briefly. Now I've got a job and I'm sick thinking about just getting preliminary shit done. I'm feeling physically ill over it all. It is awful. Please help.. I just want to die
I have just a few hours until I have to be there and I'm fucking sick about it
Go you for trying! That's all you can do, try and control your breathing and also try not to attach too much importance to it, easier said than done, I know! Try not to overthink, just concentrate on putting each foot in front of the other, stay in the moment and do what you can. One of my mantra's is to do what I can right now until I can't and it takes some of the pressure off. Massive hug, we're with you in spirit!
plumhellgrade
Member
- Mar 23, 2023
- 5
I have autism and have struggled with anxiety in public social situations since childhood, not realizing it until 3 years ago. Fucking crazy. I would become homebound if there were no mandatory gainful employment for me, which would not be charming. Did you tried talking to a doctor about that? Perhaps it might be relieved by an anxiolytic. I experience insomnia yet to be treated, and that's the only reason why an anxiolytic alone is not sufficient on me.
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Yes, I am homebound with extreme anxiety and agoraphobia so bad that I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack if I even have to do something as simple as take my trash to the dumpster or go to the grocery store for food. Part of it is autism (though I wasn't diagnosed until age 38) but part of it is just a cycle of the more I give in to hiding in my apartment, the worse it gets, and then the more I want to hide in my apartment, etc.
Right now I am also bedridden with major depression. All I do is lie in bed all day, and I only get up to eat or shower (which I don't even do every day). I desperately need to do laundry, clean, vacuum, etc. but I can barely muster the energy to pop a frozen meal into the toaster oven let alone do chores.
Respect that you have a job because I would be completely incapable of work right now. I can barely brush my teeth. I am a shadow of my former self back in the 2010s when I used to have a good job at a college, had energy for friendships and to sometimes go on vacation, etc. I also just want to die.
I have SN, but the SI is pretty strong mainly because I know if I CTB it will wreck my family, partner, and best friend. They have always been nothing but supportive to me and I talk to them on the phone / occasionally see them, but I carry on like I'm okay and hide how useless and crippled I am from them.
I don't know what to do. I can't keep doing this and just want to drink SN and be done with it, but the guilt I feel over what my survivors would feel or do is crushing. My dad has already had a heart attack; what if my CTB caused him to have another one, and it was fatal?
I had pretty solid plans to go tomorrow, but I don't think I can go through with it after all. And yet the thought of living one more day like this is paralyzing.
Sorry you are going through something similar.
I know very well what that is, that's how I started a few years ago and that's why I left several good jobs. Currently it is impossible for me to leave the house due to social anxiety and agoraphobia. So the best advice I could give you so that you don't go through what I'm going through right now is don't stop going out, don't quit your job, take things easy, continue to go out a little apart from your work every day. I don't know if you have taken therapy or any medication? It could probably help you if you're consistent, at the time it helped me to take medication, I never took therapy seriously and that was wrong too I guess. I hope you can try some of this and things get better for you.
I feel much the same. Anxiety going to trash or letterbox. Panic going for grocery pick up. I don't get out of bed for much at all. My anxiety and agorophobia came on in 2019 when I made terrible decisions that destroyed my life quite literally.
I did manage to make my errands and now we shall see how long I can attend jib obligations without fucking it up. I'm in my 40s and feel incapable of faulting at all
Right now I have no insurance. But once I start job and get insurance
Yeah, my mailman must think I'm strange because I don't get my mail for weeks at a time and by then the box is almost full.
I also destroyed my life in 2019. I'm Bipolar I and had a manic episode in which I blew up my life, including my job, most of my friendships, etc. I was bedridden with depression for months afterwards, but eventually managed to crawl my way out and live life again, albeit on disability and in Section 8 housing after 2019. Then, despite being on medication, I had another manic episode last fall and destroyed my life even more.
I'm just done now. This isn't the life I worked for and I don't want to do any of this anymore.
BornHated
God may judge, but his sins outnumber your own.
- Nov 19, 2022
- 96
Grew up in an US suburb where nothing was within walking distance. Currently live in an European country where having a car in most major cities is more of an inconvenience than an asset for daily life.
My first month here I was BARELY functional because of the aversion to human presence. I was having like... breakdowns? Meltdowns? Nonresponsive, gotta go stand in a bathroom stall to calm down kinda thing.
Consistent Exposure: Had to commute for 2 hours every day (2 hrs to class, 2 hrs back) for my uni here and that routine exposure really helped. Nowadays, with all the people I see I realize just how ordinary folks are, how much they don't care even if I'm incredibly strange and as socially naive as your average dog. I realized it was wiser to distribute my worry unto what classmates (coworkers) or teachers (bosses) thought of me since those I shouldn't handle using my default brain mode. Faux pas with strangers you won't see again don't usually come back to bite you so hard, normal people move on real quick from whatever your presence gave. People who I see more chronically get to pick up on my individual habits and quirks, which ofc tends to lead to both some bullying but also assistance from the kinder ones.
Mindset: Recently, my disdain for life has also helped me out in giving less of a s--t about how I look or what people think unless it involves money (work). They don't know my life, they don't know my story, and most people don't have a clue how far they got in life thanks to the support they got, not just innate ability. The cards we got in life are different and we play them based on the circumstances we're born into. By my moral views, I haven't done anything wrong just for existing as I am, because I don't actively go out of my way to hurt anybody. I'm just Tryin', and I don't bother with the opinions of people who look down on the mentally ill and less fortunate in the first place; just about what I'd need to do to maneuver around them.
I hope any of this helps. Tbh I'd troubleshoot the stuff that gives anxiety spikes and take steps from there, both mindset-wise and practicality-wise. Anything that can streamline stuff for you when you're too anxious to think, like how I lay out my clothes the night before kind of thing so my executive dysfunction doesn't jumble up my morning. Stuff like this has an ongoing adaptation process.
Troubleshooting this stuff takes SUPER long so don't feel guilty or like you're doing poorly, at least know you got this internet stranger rooting for you!
My first month here I was BARELY functional because of the aversion to human presence. I was having like... breakdowns? Meltdowns? Nonresponsive, gotta go stand in a bathroom stall to calm down kinda thing.
Consistent Exposure: Had to commute for 2 hours every day (2 hrs to class, 2 hrs back) for my uni here and that routine exposure really helped. Nowadays, with all the people I see I realize just how ordinary folks are, how much they don't care even if I'm incredibly strange and as socially naive as your average dog. I realized it was wiser to distribute my worry unto what classmates (coworkers) or teachers (bosses) thought of me since those I shouldn't handle using my default brain mode. Faux pas with strangers you won't see again don't usually come back to bite you so hard, normal people move on real quick from whatever your presence gave. People who I see more chronically get to pick up on my individual habits and quirks, which ofc tends to lead to both some bullying but also assistance from the kinder ones.
Mindset: Recently, my disdain for life has also helped me out in giving less of a s--t about how I look or what people think unless it involves money (work). They don't know my life, they don't know my story, and most people don't have a clue how far they got in life thanks to the support they got, not just innate ability. The cards we got in life are different and we play them based on the circumstances we're born into. By my moral views, I haven't done anything wrong just for existing as I am, because I don't actively go out of my way to hurt anybody. I'm just Tryin', and I don't bother with the opinions of people who look down on the mentally ill and less fortunate in the first place; just about what I'd need to do to maneuver around them.
I hope any of this helps. Tbh I'd troubleshoot the stuff that gives anxiety spikes and take steps from there, both mindset-wise and practicality-wise. Anything that can streamline stuff for you when you're too anxious to think, like how I lay out my clothes the night before kind of thing so my executive dysfunction doesn't jumble up my morning. Stuff like this has an ongoing adaptation process.
Troubleshooting this stuff takes SUPER long so don't feel guilty or like you're doing poorly, at least know you got this internet stranger rooting for you!
I am so sorry. I ruined business, devastated my finances, destroyed marriage and relationships, etc with mania as well. 2020-early 2022 anxiety and agorophobia from hell, that's when suicidal thoughts began. Then in 2022 I was able to crawl out with a intermittent mania. I did make some questionable decisions then as well.
As far as letterbox, I get it few times a week cause I'm scared of neighbors calling for welfare check and usually have to send something off. Typically do anything outdoor related at night
Get groceries by curbside
Rarely make any appts
Feel free to PM me, sounds like we have a lot in common
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