help me decipher the motivation behind this:

[Orin]

It's the story of my aunt and her two daughters. The eldest daughter is beautiful, has a loving husband and children, is financially stable, and appears to have the perfect life. Whereas her sister is not very attractive, and has been single all her life i think (might be wrong though). I remember talking to her years back and in a rare occasion she opened up to me, stating that she loves her sister but at the same time she's so jealous, and that she has given up on finding a husband.

Then she tells me what bothers her most is her mom constantly showing her pictures of her sister's family; pictures of them having fun, etc. She said she couldn't understand why her mom is torturing her like this. I told her to tell her mom this is highly upsetting to her but she said she just couldn't. She didn't want to be known as the jealous sister.

In your opinion, why is the mother doing this? Is it just utter stupidity? Or is it some form of demented manipulation that my puny brain cannot fathom? As far as know, my aunt has a good relationship with all her children. It's not like my younger cousin is a trouble maker/drug addict, etc.

 

[not_a_robot]

The mom is being normal by sharing family milestones. It's the jealousy that is insane and deranged. Sorry.

This is why I find neurotypicals unbearable. Literally everything is a competition. It's ludicrous. I don't know how anybody lives that way or why anyone would want to, but they all swear "friends and family" give their life meaning. It's all just jealousy and competition. They can keep it.

Also, that "tortured jealousy" you describe at her seeing pics of happy people is precisely the human weakness that Fakebook was created to exploit.
(sorry to keep editing)

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It's a matriarchal thing. Older women love nothing more than grand kids, and they will typically gravitate towards the most successful of their own kids in terms of offspring etc. Family is a huge currency for older women. It's all pretty normal and biological. My guess is your aunt has no idea she's hurting her other daughter, and probably couldn't stop even if she did.

 

[alizee]

The mom likely is proud of her daughter and thinks the same emotion would be shared with the other sister. I'm going with that because I rather not imagine the other scenario.

 

[not_a_robot]

I find it so bizarre that anyone stays in contact with their families past the age of legal adulthood. They never have anything to say about each other that isn't monstrous on some level.
I think it's just the hope of a financial reward when the others die off?

Does not compute.

 

[alizee]

I find it so bizarre that anyone stays in contact with their families past the age of legal adulthood. They never have anything to say about each other that isn't monstrous on some level.
I think it's just the hope of a financial reward when the others die off?

Does not compute.

I think it depends on the individual and where they're situated. I grew up in a rural area and where jobs were scarce compared to a city. So I stayed with parents past the legal adulthood starting age for a few years more than I would have preferred and for finishing college. Then I found a job willing to get me away from the shitty place I was living. Also it can be very cultural because I've known people that it's normal to live with their parents all throughout life. In any case I would never want any financial reward from my parents because they were horrible individuals when it came to controlling tendencies upon others.

 

[not_a_robot]

I think it depends on the individual and where they're situated. I grew up in a rural area and where jobs were scarce compared to a city. So I stayed with parents past the legal adulthood starting age for a few years more than I would have preferred and for finishing college. Then I found a job willing to get me away from the shitty place I was living. Also it can be very cultural because I've known people that it's normal to live with their parents all throughout life. In any case I would never want any financial reward from my parents because they were horrible individuals when it came to controlling tendencies upon others.

Not even to inherit when they're dead? If my dad's side of the family leaves me any of the "millions" they used to promise me, I'll accept it just to throw a big fucking party to celebrate their demise. I'm not too proud to take their money, if they have the courtesy to kindly die first. Preferably painfully, and slow.

 

[alizee]

Not even to inherit when they're dead?

I imagine I wouldn't want the money because they ruined my youth with their religious nonsense and where we ended up living that was anti-lgbt. Maybe I would take the money if they died like today but I don't keep in touch at all and so I wouldn't know if they died. The chance that I lived for another 20-30 years to see them die is slim but I'm assuming if that happened.. I wouldn't want their money and I would just donate it to some kid for tuition costs and nothing else really comes to mind. That would kind of suck if I think much about it because researching what kid really can make use of university would be hard. I didn't find university much useful and I'm a programmer. I guess some young adult who needs university for being a doctor or surgeon.

 

[GinaIsReady]

It's the story of my aunt and her two daughters. The eldest daughter is beautiful, has a loving husband and children, is financially stable, and appears to have the perfect life. Whereas her sister is not very attractive, and has been single all her life i think (might be wrong though). I remember talking to her years back and in a rare occasion she opened up to me, stating that she loves her sister but at the same time she's so jealous, and that she has given up on finding a husband.

Then she tells me what bothers her most is her mom constantly showing her pictures of her sister's family; pictures of them having fun, etc. She said she couldn't understand why her mom is torturing her like this. I told her to tell her mom this is highly upsetting to her but she said she just couldn't. She didn't want to be known as the jealous sister.

In your opinion, why is the mother doing this? Is it just utter stupidity? Or is it some form of demented manipulation that my puny brain cannot fathom? As far as know, my aunt has a good relationship with all her children. It's not like my younger cousin is a trouble maker/drug addict, etc.

The mom might be trying to motivate the single daughter to have a family too, using the pics to inspire desire ?? Not realizing the harm she's doing ?? Sometimes I think parents have some imbedded born-with evolutionary thing in their head that says they must motivate their children to do better in life and they ignorantly do so by pitting the children against each other. ?

 

[RM5998]

Not even to inherit when they're dead? If my dad's side of the family leaves me any of the "millions" they used to promise me, I'll accept it just to throw a big fucking party to celebrate their demise. I'm not too proud to take their money, if they have the courtesy to kindly die first. Preferably painfully, and slow.

But not too slow, so that you can actually inherit and use the money. Yep, I've thought about using my parents' life insurance money that way for a while now.

I think people have families to feel like they have had an impact on the world. To leave behind a curated version of them that will represent their ideas and wishes when they are dead. That's why parents can often live through their kids because they consider them an extension of themselves, or a piece of property (like a tax-free Ferrari). I think it's just part of the fear of being wiped clean from the world as if you were never really here.

I've often wanted to ask the parents who come onto this site why they decided to have kids, but it feels like it would be bad timing.