Help Help finding an obituary?

[penguinl0v3s]

I think my recovery partner here died. I can't be 100% sure, but they said that they would use nitrogen that night and haven't gotten back since. I haven't dared to text them any more messages, in case their phone is being monitored. Is it okay to text them more messages?

I have their first name and general location, and I know when they died but I couldn't find their obituary :( any advice on how to look? I really want some 100% confirmation that they're gone. I know that chances are they're dead, but a small part of me keeps hoping to get a text from them and I miss them so much

 

[BrknEyes]

I would check the news in the general location, see if that comes up (newspapers) if nothing pops up then maybe check hospital registries.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I would check the news in the general location, see if that comes up (newspapers) if nothing pops up then maybe check hospital registries.

How do I check hospital registries? Also, he used CO so I doubt he would get transported to a hospital? I'm also not family and his family doesn't know that I exist, would that still be possible?

 

[BrknEyes]

How do I check hospital registries? Also, he used CO so I doubt he would get transported to a hospital? I'm also not family and his family doesn't know that I exist, would that still be possible?

Best bet then would just be newspapers, depending on state or country it's laws are different, sometimes all you need to be is a friend to be able to see where they are. Unless it's more of a liberal state then it's a bit harder since the state laws are more strict.

 

[AllFoxedOut]

How long has it been? It can take a few days to weeks for an obituary to be published. If you know his first name, state, city, and date of death you should be able to find it. Using a website like this: https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries

 

[penguinl0v3s]

How long has it been? It can take a few days to weeks for an obituary to be published. If you know his first name, state, city, and date of death you should be able to find it. Using a website like this: https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries

I'm confused what obituaries really are to be honest. Are they required? Because as far as I know, culturally we (the background we were both from) don't tend to do those. He's been gone for a week and a half now. I'll keep waiting I think.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm confused what obituaries really are to be honest. Are they required? Because as far as I know, culturally we (the background we were both from) don't tend to do those. He's been gone for a week and a half now. I'll keep waiting I think.

Obituaries are death notices that let people know someone died, gives information about funeral arrangements, and serve as a small tribute to the person.

I feel that it is okay to text them. If their phone is being monitored wouldn't your prior messages have been noticed?

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Best bet then would just be newspapers, depending on state or country it's laws are different, sometimes all you need to be is a friend to be able to see where they are. Unless it's more of a liberal state then it's a bit harder since the state laws are more strict.

It's a liberal state :(

Obituaries are death notices that let people know someone died, gives information about funeral arrangements, and serve as a small tribute to the person.

I feel that it is okay to text them. If their phone is being monitored wouldn't your prior messages have been noticed?

Ah I see. Is there one for everyone? We talked via messaging app and I don't know if he closed the DM or not. I actually think his DM was open to my messages ngl

 

[Ironweed]

I have their first name and general location

Might be being held. FWIW, I think most obituaries nowadays won't say the cause of death if it was suicide. "So and so died suddenly" or similar language.

There's also no legal requirement to file a public death notice, I think. So they might just skip this step.

If they lived alone and had no family the body might not have been found yet, too.

and I know when they died but I couldn't find their obituary :( any advice on how to look?

Well, it kinda sounds like you don't know this for sure from reading the rest of the post.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Might be being held. FWIW, I think most obituaries nowadays won't say the cause of death if it was suicide. "So and so died suddenly" or similar language.

There's also no legal requirement to file a public death notice, I think. So they might just skip this step.

If they lived alone and had no family the body might not have been found yet, too.


Well, it kinda sounds like you don't know this for sure from reading the rest of the post.

I searched using their first name and state and nothing :/ Ah I see, I feel like a public death notice probably wouldn't have been filed. They were dependent on their parents and they died two weeks ago. I'm pretty confident that they're dead now because we talked every day up to the day that they said they were going to die, and they haven't been online since then on both here and the messaging app. I was waiting because from my experience psych ward stays are only a week, so there's probably no chance that he's just somewhere without his phone...

 

[BrknEyes]

It's a liberal state :(


Ah I see. Is there one for everyone? We talked via messaging app and I don't know if he closed the DM or not. I actually think his DM was open to my messages ngl

ah yes liberal states, i feel this in my soul. itll be very hard to find unless they have already passed, also some families just dont put obituaries in the papers so if you are in contact witha family member or another friend see if they know. (sorry for late response getting ready for ctb)