I plan to ctb in about one month. I've done a lot of reading on hanging in general and long drop specifically to prepare. I have a location picked out and am going to scout out a good tree (read that guide already). My rope is 14mm 32 ft polyester rope. Rated to 7k pounds of force.
I'm not scared of heights and have practically no SI so I'm not particularly worried about following through. There's something make or break that could happen in the next few weeks that could make me put this off. But it doesnt seem that likely. Only thing I have to overcome is feeling bad for leaving my pets and friend. But I've mostly made my peace with that already.
Here's what else I have in mind so far:
I'm 5'1 and 125 lbs. I want this to be swift, sudden, and certain so no less than and 8 ft drop.
I read that consciousness is lost in seconds to minutes but full death takes longer and ends up being due to respiratory suppression from the ligature. I have hydrocodone (100 MG total) and propranolol (both are prescription so I know they're pure) that I was considering taking before jumping to help speed that process and to prevent any chance of being revived. Sort of like multiple methods of birth control lol. If I take a little, it could maybe the experience easier. A lot could help shut me down faster. The constriction of the rope would help prevent unconscious vomiting. Is it worth it?
I'm planning on having my ID on me with a note to contact my friend and their info. They're the closest thing I have to next of kin and I don't want them wondering for days and weeks why I was gone when they came home. I dont really know how this part of the process works. They live at the same address as me/on my ID. Would they have to identify my body? I have no relatives. They don't really answer the door or their phone. Maybe they'd be worried enough to if I was missing but idk.
I'm doing this at night in a nearby wooded area. No one should be there for hours at the very least. Should I be more certain and go more remote? I'd have to lyft since I don't have a car but I'm rural so I could have them take me to a hotel near a thicker wood for instance. It would suck to spend some of the money I'm leaving to my friend but I guess it doesn't matter too much.
I've been reading about different knots and seeing different answers, advice? Also thinking I should use soap or something to lubricate the rope
I'm going to wear a pillowcase under the noose to spare whoever finds me a little horror
I plan to schedule in advance some goodbye letter emails for 2-3 weeks out in case I fail. I want one to go out the next day to my friend saying basically, I'm sorry yada yada you can have all my stuff or get rid of it, and dont feel obligated to keep him but in the meantime here's how to take care of my lizard.
Last thing I was considering is bringing some ear buds to listen to music as I jump. I can't be certain how long I'll be conscious so that could be nice
Anything I'm overlooking?Anyway I'm not doing it any sooner than 8/16 so I have a little time to finalize the details.
I'm not scared of heights and have practically no SI so I'm not particularly worried about following through. There's something make or break that could happen in the next few weeks that could make me put this off. But it doesnt seem that likely. Only thing I have to overcome is feeling bad for leaving my pets and friend. But I've mostly made my peace with that already.
Here's what else I have in mind so far:
I'm 5'1 and 125 lbs. I want this to be swift, sudden, and certain so no less than and 8 ft drop.
I read that consciousness is lost in seconds to minutes but full death takes longer and ends up being due to respiratory suppression from the ligature. I have hydrocodone (100 MG total) and propranolol (both are prescription so I know they're pure) that I was considering taking before jumping to help speed that process and to prevent any chance of being revived. Sort of like multiple methods of birth control lol. If I take a little, it could maybe the experience easier. A lot could help shut me down faster. The constriction of the rope would help prevent unconscious vomiting. Is it worth it?
I'm planning on having my ID on me with a note to contact my friend and their info. They're the closest thing I have to next of kin and I don't want them wondering for days and weeks why I was gone when they came home. I dont really know how this part of the process works. They live at the same address as me/on my ID. Would they have to identify my body? I have no relatives. They don't really answer the door or their phone. Maybe they'd be worried enough to if I was missing but idk.
I'm doing this at night in a nearby wooded area. No one should be there for hours at the very least. Should I be more certain and go more remote? I'd have to lyft since I don't have a car but I'm rural so I could have them take me to a hotel near a thicker wood for instance. It would suck to spend some of the money I'm leaving to my friend but I guess it doesn't matter too much.
I've been reading about different knots and seeing different answers, advice? Also thinking I should use soap or something to lubricate the rope
I'm going to wear a pillowcase under the noose to spare whoever finds me a little horror
I plan to schedule in advance some goodbye letter emails for 2-3 weeks out in case I fail. I want one to go out the next day to my friend saying basically, I'm sorry yada yada you can have all my stuff or get rid of it, and dont feel obligated to keep him but in the meantime here's how to take care of my lizard.
Last thing I was considering is bringing some ear buds to listen to music as I jump. I can't be certain how long I'll be conscious so that could be nice
Anything I'm overlooking?Anyway I'm not doing it any sooner than 8/16 so I have a little time to finalize the details.
