• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

H

heidiwants2die

Member
Aug 17, 2025
6
Hi! my name is Heidi and I've been depressed for majority of my life time. I still live w my parents, have plenty of failed relationships and tbh I have shitty communication skills irl and most ppl in my life have turned on me or stopped being friends w me due to mental health problems. My home life is also kinda bad, w sh and not enough privacy or comfort. I wanted to know if it was possible to hang yourself in other ways. my friend told me once to go on the shower curtain and hang the charger on it and tie it around my neck, but I doubt it'll work. thank you for anyone who replies :')
I've also wanted to try sodium nitrite, will that work if I just consumed it or something like that? I got it off a list from someone on a website I used to go on.
 
Last edited:
Zeir Anpin 729

Zeir Anpin 729

Member
Aug 11, 2025
76
for $800 you can buy pentobarbital sodium (a derivative of the famous barbiturate known as pentobarbital) BUT a lot of sellers lace the shit with fentanyl and crack. I knew only ONE good seller but he only sold the powder form in packets that where so fucking small that I would need at least 10 and my mailbox is way to small for that. I can't risk the cops showing up over bag numbers 8, 9, and 10 spilling out of the side.

for $1000 you can buy 100 bags of red cherries and crush the pits open and extract the cyanide in them. I was once a CBRN Specialist and the codename for the substance is officially PRUSSIAN BLUE. They use it to get through MOP gear and kill people on the battlefield. Extraction is a pain in the ass but the ARMY pays people to do it. I've thought of doing it myself but I don't have a car and have been robbed many times walking back from the store with groceries. I don't feel like buying 100 bags of cherries (way to much to carry) for the homeless gang-stalkers at this time. The motherfuckers always resell it for crack I bet.

There is the famous Phenelzine and Amitriptyline combination. Adding grapefruit to the common dosage of Amitriptyline increases the bodies level of it because the grapefruit naturally inhibits the Cytochrome P450 3A4 enzymes in the intestine. My research on this turned up no viable options as of yet. I can only speculate on what genetic modification to the grapefruit would do.

Let's see... blood thinners like calcium channel and beta blockers can stop your heart... Taxine alkaloids from the berries of a yew tree could poison you from the inside out... All of this stuff was already mentioned on the thread "METHODS THAT WONT WORK AND YOU SHOULD AVOID ATTEMPTING"...

I can't find a good method yet. I've been online on this site ALL DAY TODAY so hopefully I get lucky and come across the answers soon...
 
H

heidiwants2die

Member
Aug 17, 2025
6
for $800 you can buy pentobarbital sodium (a derivative of the famous barbiturate known as pentobarbital) BUT a lot of sellers lace the shit with fentanyl and crack. I knew only ONE good seller but he only sold the powder form in packets that where so fucking small that I would need at least 10 and my mailbox is way to small for that. I can't risk the cops showing up over bag numbers 8, 9, and 10 spilling out of the side.

for $1000 you can buy 100 bags of red cherries and crush the pits open and extract the cyanide in them. I was once a CBRN Specialist and the codename for the substance is officially PRUSSIAN BLUE. They use it to get through MOP gear and kill people on the battlefield. Extraction is a pain in the ass but the ARMY pays people to do it. I've thought of doing it myself but I don't have a car and have been robbed many times walking back from the store with groceries. I don't feel like buying 100 bags of cherries (way to much to carry) for the homeless gang-stalkers at this time. The motherfuckers always resell it for crack I bet.

There is the famous Phenelzine and Amitriptyline combination. Adding grapefruit to the common dosage of Amitriptyline increases the bodies level of it because the grapefruit naturally inhibits the Cytochrome P450 3A4 enzymes in the intestine. My research on this turned up no viable options as of yet. I can only speculate on what genetic modification to the grapefruit would do.

Let's see... blood thinners like calcium channel and beta blockers can stop your heart... Taxine alkaloids from the berries of a yew tree could poison you from the inside out... All of this stuff was already mentioned on the thread "METHODS THAT WONT WORK AND YOU SHOULD AVOID ATTEMPTING"...

I can't find a good method yet. I've been online on this site ALL DAY TODAY so hopefully I get lucky and come across the answers soon...
What's the one for 800 dollars? pentobarbital? Never heard of it and I wanna know where to get it if possible? but Ty for the advice nd info :3 is the last one the best in your opinion? Lmk when u find good info. I'd appreciate it
 
Zeir Anpin 729

Zeir Anpin 729

Member
Aug 11, 2025
76
What's the one for 800 dollars? pentobarbital?
Yes. That's how much it was being sold for on the dark web. I visited two dark web sites. Torzon and Kerberos. Torzon was garbage and I would say never go there. The sellers add in crack and fentanyl and you will never get the real thing. On Kerberos, I found one guy who did seem honest to me. He had the pentobarbital (Nembutal) in liquid form because he stole the bottles from CEVA. But he would only sell it in powdered form, placed in little baggies the size of a key fob. They where like $100 each but I knew I would need 10-15 in order to even have a chance of dying with it. My mailbox is way to small for that. I would have taken the chance if the little packages came as one, but instead it was all sold separately.

Nembutal was advocated for by Philip Nitschke, director of Exit International. I read the entire Peaceful Pill handbook they published, which was copied to the Internet Archive. Dr. Philip Nitschke was once a pioneer, someone who blazened the trail of the pro choice community. But now, he and his organization have retreated under the pressure of the Australian and European governments. His methods are antiquated and the drugs (Nembutal) where pulled off the market once journalists broke into the Exit International ring and exposed the methods publicly. Public outcry ruined it all.

I dont know if it is possible to get Nembutal at all anymore. I almost did it through the dark web. But that is actually illegal and you have to have a good and safe mailbox if you want to risk it. It is a controlled substance and you can go to jail for many years. I dont think it is worth the risk. I want something peaceful but not something that can tank my reputation on the way out. Or what little is left of my reputation that is. But if you do try the dark web, know that Bitcoin is traceable, and most places now use XML coin.
 
  • Like
Reactions: heidiwants2die
H

heidiwants2die

Member
Aug 17, 2025
6
Yes. That's how much it was being sold for on the dark web. I visited two dark web sites. Torzon and Kerberos. Torzon was garbage and I would say never go there. The sellers add in crack and fentanyl and you will never get the real thing. On Kerberos, I found one guy who did seem honest to me. He had the pentobarbital (Nembutal) in liquid form because he stole the bottles from CEVA. But he would only sell it in powdered form, placed in little baggies the size of a key fob. They where like $100 each but I knew I would need 10-15 in order to even have a chance of dying with it. My mailbox is way to small for that. I would have taken the chance if the little packages came as one, but instead it was all sold separately.

Nembutal was advocated for by Philip Nitschke, director of Exit International. I read the entire Peaceful Pill handbook they published, which was copied to the Internet Archive. Dr. Philip Nitschke was once a pioneer, someone who blazened the trail of the pro choice community. But now, he and his organization have retreated under the pressure of the Australian and European governments. His methods are antiquated and the drugs (Nembutal) where pulled off the market once journalists broke into the Exit International ring and exposed the methods publicly. Public outcry ruined it all.

I dont know if it is possible to get Nembutal at all anymore. I almost did it through the dark web. But that is actually illegal and you have to have a good and safe mailbox if you want to risk it. It is a controlled substance and you can go to jail for many years. I dont think it is worth the risk. I want something peaceful but not something that can tank my reputation on the way out. Or what little is left of my reputation that is. But if you do try the dark web, know that Bitcoin is traceable, and most places now use XML coin.
Where was Nambutal mentioned in your reply? also yikes, I don't rlly wanna go to jail…thx tho. I was more interested in the last part, "blood thinners like calcium channel and beta blockers can stop your heart... Taxine alkaloids from the berries of a yew tree could poison you from the inside out..." you can PM me if u have more info./nf Have a good day/night! ^^ I'll be doing more research into the coin u talked about and those dark web websites.
 
Zeir Anpin 729

Zeir Anpin 729

Member
Aug 11, 2025
76
Where was Nambutal mentioned in your reply?
Nembutal is the brand name of pentobarbital. I say it because it is easier to spell and most people recognize that name more.


One brand name for this drug is Nembutal, coined by John S. Lundy, who started using it in 1930, from the structural formula of the sodium salt—Na (sodium) + ethyl + methyl + butyl + al (common suffix for barbiturates). Nembutal is trademarked and manufactured by the Danish pharmaceutical company Lundbeck (now produced by Akorn Pharmaceuticals) is the only injectable form of pentobarbital approved for sale in the United States.

its annoying but chemists always have 2 names for everything. the real name and the brand name.

also, i hate the dark web. and if i really thought that that option worked, then I would have already done it myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: heidiwants2die
H

heidiwants2die

Member
Aug 17, 2025
6
Nembutal is the brand name of pentobarbital. I say it because it is easier to spell and most people recognize that name more.



its annoying but chemists always have 2 names for everything. the real name and the brand name.

also, i hate the dark web. and if i really thought that that option worked, then I would have already done it myself.
alright thank you, I won't bother looking into it then. u can pm me info about what I quoted, correct? :) thanks or reply to this comment
 
Wolf Girl

Wolf Girl

"This place made me feel worthless"
Jun 12, 2024
520
If it was easy and painless to kill yourself, this forum likely wouldn't even exist because way more suicidal people would go through with the act. Dying is uncomfortable. Killing yourself hurts and the unknown is frightening. You will be unable to ctb until you accept the pain and fear.
 
  • Like
Reactions: heidiwants2die
Zeir Anpin 729

Zeir Anpin 729

Member
Aug 11, 2025
76
Yeah if you went on there and made a bunch accounts with all the different darknet sites, you only find scam after scam. I wasted so much time doing that and I wish someone told me that Nembutal basically isn't manufactured anymore and that NO ONE really has any.

PS: I made a typo on the bitcoin thing. The alternative coin is called XMR / Monero. I listed a completely different coin by mistake.

PSS: Monero was created by Nicolas van Saberhagen. He is anonymous just like Satoshi Nakamoto was. I think all of them are cybercriminals. But IDK. Sorry again for listing the wrong coin earlier. All darknets use either bitcoin or monero. Nothing else. Everything else is a memecoin, shitcoin, or scam and completely worthless.
u can pm me info about what I quoted, correct? :)
I don't have many bright ideas. I do have this folder I made yesterday detailing the grapefruit + anti-depressant idea. But it deflated quickly.

 
Last edited:
H

heidiwants2die

Member
Aug 17, 2025
6
If it was easy and painless to kill yourself, this forum likely wouldn't even exist because way more suicidal people would go through with the act. Dying is uncomfortable. Killing yourself hurts and the unknown is frightening. You will be unable to ctb until you accept the pain and fear.
Tbh, true. Can't even argue w that. I'm asking cus someone said sodium nitrite is like one of the least painful ways to die, should've been clearer😓 what does ctb mean?
Tbh, true. Can't even argue w that. I'm asking cus someone said sodium nitrite is like one of the least painful ways to die, should've been clearer😓 what does ctb mean?
Also, I am suicidal…i just can't afford to do it cus of my household. And I'm p empty but I have tried to do actions in the past (without that much knowledge of what to cut but yeah)
 

Similar threads

P
Replies
6
Views
180
Suicide Discussion
tooBadTooLate
tooBadTooLate
A
Replies
10
Views
483
Suicide Discussion
AreWeWinning
AreWeWinning
katara
Replies
15
Views
477
Suicide Discussion
katara
katara
H
Replies
9
Views
980
Suicide Discussion
hell toupee
H