Hello. The title is from a song in a Marx Brothers film called Animal Crackers, and I felt like it fit the theme.
I am very new to this site. I have been reading the forums and I see that many people experience the type of challenges I experience. So this is not a new theme and I do not mean to populate the forum with common themes but I just want to express my experience somewhere.
I turned 50 years old today. When I was a child, I was SA'd by my father and his friend. I was also SA'd by a stranger walking home from school when I was 8. This has had a big impact on my capacity to form a romantic relationship as an adult. I have never had a romantic relationship. I have never had someone tell me that they loved me in a romantic way.
Over the years I have developed romantic feelings for people and for many different reasons, they have never worked out. I wanted to have children with a partner and that never happened for me. Recently, I developed feelings again for someone, and again, it is not going to work out. I am constantly surprised at how I keep holding hope even after all these years. But I can't continue anymore. It is just too hard.
The pain I feel at the prospect of going through this life without ever exchanging romantic love with another person feels so immense to me that I do not think I can continue to live with the pain. After the most recent experience of not being able to achieve mutual romantic love, I don't feel like I can continue to live with this pain. I want to find a way out but I do not know where to start. I am finding it hard to find information on this site, and I understand why, as people worry about comprising the site.
I live in Australia and if anyone had some useful advice I would appreciate it.
But more than that, I am grateful to you for reading this and hearing my experience. Thank you.
I am very new to this site. I have been reading the forums and I see that many people experience the type of challenges I experience. So this is not a new theme and I do not mean to populate the forum with common themes but I just want to express my experience somewhere.
I turned 50 years old today. When I was a child, I was SA'd by my father and his friend. I was also SA'd by a stranger walking home from school when I was 8. This has had a big impact on my capacity to form a romantic relationship as an adult. I have never had a romantic relationship. I have never had someone tell me that they loved me in a romantic way.
Over the years I have developed romantic feelings for people and for many different reasons, they have never worked out. I wanted to have children with a partner and that never happened for me. Recently, I developed feelings again for someone, and again, it is not going to work out. I am constantly surprised at how I keep holding hope even after all these years. But I can't continue anymore. It is just too hard.
The pain I feel at the prospect of going through this life without ever exchanging romantic love with another person feels so immense to me that I do not think I can continue to live with the pain. After the most recent experience of not being able to achieve mutual romantic love, I don't feel like I can continue to live with this pain. I want to find a way out but I do not know where to start. I am finding it hard to find information on this site, and I understand why, as people worry about comprising the site.
I live in Australia and if anyone had some useful advice I would appreciate it.
But more than that, I am grateful to you for reading this and hearing my experience. Thank you.
. One day I'll speak about my own experience as well.
welcome and happy birthday 
