Hello, any tips to improve social anxiety?

[crimson blue]

I have been trying to recover for some time now, my progress has been little but continuos. Since I can remember I have been shy and I have a hard time speaking in public which affects me in many areas of life such as at work, social gatherings and I often have brain fog

 

[Mauve87]

Same. I'm starting recovery tomorrow. Have you tried exposure therapy ? It's extremely exhausting, but I believe it's possible to overcome it

It sounds dramatic but, knowing that I could die at any moment helps a little. Like what's the worst that could happen? Good luck and I hope you manage to get better ❤

 

[pole]

addressing the root causes of your social anxiety and stepping out of your comfort zone.

reflect on particular moments, times where you'll feel the need to think or feel a certain way, hone in on it, make sense of it, and learn to continuously address it.

slowly, it helps to understand you aren't the problem, there's nothing wrong with anything your doing, and to rationalize and think through some of these fears and anxieties that we experience in public. it takes effort, time, and patience. but you will get better.

lastly, forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. I had crippling anxiety, my self-esteem has always been low, but it was paralyzingly and I struggled with interacting with getting out and interacting with people.

after my first year of undergrad, I threw myself out there in a way I never thought I would. I got a job as a sales associate part time, at a huge store, located in the heart of a major city.

it was fucking INTENSE. and I never would have done it if I didn't wake up that day and choose to throw myself out there by doing something that I know would get me out of my comfort zone.

to this day, I'm thankful for the time I spent in retail. It helped so much with learning and being comfortable with speaking to different types of people. I learned how to control my anxieties and concerns that I once had to deal with socially. I understood how to better read and understand people, and taught me skills that I will continue to carry with me until I pass.

but, it started with putting myself in a scary situation where I was forced out of my comfort zone. it takes whole lot to take that step, but it is worth it in the end and you'll be thanking yourself down the road in life.

I hope you find peace and better learn how to manage your social anxiety.

 

[Moburin 29]

I agree with guys above. Unfortunately no matter how scary and unpleasant exposure therapy can be, it's the best way to go.

Start with something small, like asking directions even if you don't need them, talking to shop assistants or trying to tell baristas "hey it's a nice day we are having today". Something like this.

Of course at first you will worry a lot and maybe it will seem pointless to you. But the more successful interactions you will have, the more confidence you will feel.

You know, the most heartwarming thought I have is that all my little battles and all day to day struggles resulted in something good.

So yeah, I believe in you buddy. One thing at a time.

 

[anne neum]

we are all already dead. i find it a comforting thought

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

Start with something small, like asking directions even if you don't need them, talking to shop assistants or trying to tell baristas "hey it's a nice day we are having today". Something like this.

Of course at first you will worry a lot and maybe it will seem pointless to you. But the more successful interactions you will have, the more confidence you will feel.

This is a good place to start. Low-stakes interactions are great for practice before you get into anything more intimidating; it will help build up your confidence, and it can result in some very nice moments, too. Something as simple as, for example, telling the cashier at the store "thanks, have a lovely day!" instead of just muttering "thanks" before leaving. It doesn't have any big, lasting effects, but it can simply be a pleasant exchange of words with another human being.

 

[DesolateSouls]

I wish I had good advice but I don't. "Fake it till you make it" kinda works but it doesn't guarantee the anxiety goes away. It hasn't for me, a primary reason I want to CTB.

 

[Inthewind]

I have been trying to recover for some time now, my progress has been little but continuos. Since I can remember I have been shy and I have a hard time speaking in public which affects me in many areas of life such as at work, social gatherings and I often have brain fog

I do too, I been getting better, I walk my dogs and when no one is on my side of the street, or are only on the oppisite side of the street I started to hum and sing a little, and I think it helps it calming a little for me because I think about how if I am outside these people probably dont or wont remmeber what I look like, and I dont have the best vision so I wouldnt recognise them either. It just helps to think about for me.

 

[FeyB]

What helped me a lot in social interaction outside of goin outside the confort zone is learning sociological interaction at a theorical level. As an autistic person there were things i just couldn't understand and I had to learn them either trough books, explaining interactions with my psychiatrist and, although its more rare, my friends when I opened up with then avout being autistic and social interaction i would like them to tell explicitly what to do or what i am doin wrong

 

[snowcloud9]

I have been trying to recover for some time now, my progress has been little but continuos. Since I can remember I have been shy and I have a hard time speaking in public which affects me in many areas of life such as at work, social gatherings and I often have brain fog

Being scared of taking up space is the #1 problem. You aren't boring, a nuisance, weird, anything like that. 99% of people don't instantly judge a stranger and not want to talk to them. Especially in social settings, people WANT to be talked to. If you're not ready to do exposure yet, I'd suggest going out to a social setting like a bar or club and just observing people and seeing how they do it. But eventually yes, you do need to practice and be awkward for a bit before settling in.

What helped me a lot in social interaction outside of goin outside the confort zone is learning sociological interaction at a theorical level. As an autistic person there were things i just couldn't understand and I had to learn them either trough books, explaining interactions with my psychiatrist and, although its more rare, my friends when I opened up with then avout being autistic and social interaction i would like them to tell explicitly what to do or what i am doin wrong

I'm a sociocultural anthropology/sociology (+computer engineering) major and once I've started reading sociology books for fun, it unintentionally upped my social skills so much. It's like being on another plane of existence. This sounds super fucked, but now I can manipulate men into liking me very easliy, and to some extent women. Learning about trends in human behavior and some societal biases, all that is very helpful. All people are the same in some ways. otherwise we wouldn't study them in groups. Men crave compliments and emotional comfort, women want to be acknowledged in conversations...

Also PSA please don't buy a shit ton of psychology or self-help books. The majority of them are terrible and written by some random TikTok influencer who has no psychology degree/anything that would make them qualified to speak. They're just trying to make a quick buck and waste your time.

 

[Dying Knight]

If you know a lot of interesting facts and stories and if you can present your information in a humorous form, some people will be glad to engage you in conversations, even if you rarely or never initiate conversations with them first, that is typical if you are an introvert.

So my advice to introverts would be: try to learn interesting things and develop your sense of humor. When your erudition and joking skills become good enough, you will be desirable person to talk with.