Why do I want to end my life,so I can rest forever, just like in my sleep, but all these religious textbook say you will end up will hell where you will be tortured and you will not die from torture , this makes me hate god so much, does anyone else believes this.
I used to believe this for the majority of my life until after 40 years I am faced with the reality that I've clearly been scammed by religion. The bible also talks about how liers, fornicators, hypocrites, and etc will go to hell but everybody ignores that for their own benefit. Most people are not suicidal so they demonize suicide because it's something they don't believe they would ever do, but when it comes to the things they enjoy, apparently they will still go to Heaven even if the bible says otherwise.
I do believe the spiritual realm exists, because I experienced paranormal activity before, but trying to use Christianity to figure it all out & make sense of it, only led me to even more disaster. However, what I experienced always made the other side even more scarier for me.
At this point, the need for me to escape the evil of this world, and my suffering is greater than any fear, so I'm willing to take my chances by CBTing, and hoping that I will just end up in eternal nothingness, and there will be nothing scary to encounter. I'm done trying to figure things out, I'm thinking there is no god, and if there is one, I don't know what kind of character it could possibly have, but I'm not getting good vibes about it after how I've seen extremely evil people get their way in this life. I just want peace.
If there is a hell, it would make absolutely no sense for me to be there, unless everybody else is going too, or God just doesn't like me, and if he doesn't like me, hey, I tried everything, except being as evil as the people he seems to love. So I rather believe there is no god, there is no hell, and I will just die (shut down).