(tagging nsfw for mentions of SH. no graphic descriptions)
now knowing that i have a set date and method, i have been living extra vivaciously. i'm not doing "bucket list" types of things, but nicotine, alcohol, sex, and junk food? hell yeah.
i'm not denying myself any pleasures, to a certain extent of course. i still want to make sure i leave my roommates some money for bills and don't want to raise any alarms by appearing to be impulsive and reckless with my money. but these little things here and there? absolutely.
it's not like it's giving me a zest for life or changing my mind whatsoever, but now that the consequences don't matter, it's nice to indulge. i'm even trying new methods of self harm to help cope while i'm waiting for my date. it's nothing extreme- nothing that could put me in the hospital prematurely, just things that come with the "fuck it" attitude. if you're the type that's morbidly curious, i'm happy to discuss in PMs, i just don't want to inadvertently encourage someone to harm themselves.
anyway, anyone else currently in the same position, or maybe had that mindset before previous attempts? what are some things you've indulged in without worrying about the long term effects?
now knowing that i have a set date and method, i have been living extra vivaciously. i'm not doing "bucket list" types of things, but nicotine, alcohol, sex, and junk food? hell yeah.
i'm not denying myself any pleasures, to a certain extent of course. i still want to make sure i leave my roommates some money for bills and don't want to raise any alarms by appearing to be impulsive and reckless with my money. but these little things here and there? absolutely.
it's not like it's giving me a zest for life or changing my mind whatsoever, but now that the consequences don't matter, it's nice to indulge. i'm even trying new methods of self harm to help cope while i'm waiting for my date. it's nothing extreme- nothing that could put me in the hospital prematurely, just things that come with the "fuck it" attitude. if you're the type that's morbidly curious, i'm happy to discuss in PMs, i just don't want to inadvertently encourage someone to harm themselves.
anyway, anyone else currently in the same position, or maybe had that mindset before previous attempts? what are some things you've indulged in without worrying about the long term effects?
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