I still think of my first real boyfriend I was with from 13 to 21 (later years off and on, we got pretty volatile towards the end because I quit drugs and drinking and he wouldn't.) Then we hooked up later in life and it was wonderful. Then this asshole therapist, who I am still recovering from, intervened with our plans to live together. He never forgave me for it, and we eventually broke up again. I can still cry at the drop of a hat when I think about him, sometimes I dream (as in sleep) we're still together and it's awful for a few minutes when I wake up. It's been almost 20 years since that second breakup. Your regrets in life shouldn't be from a therapist making a decision for you. However, now I'm with the second love of my life, and I didn't find him until I was 43. Can you believe I had gone back to the same therapist (she had me brainwashed) and she tried to intervene and say it wasn't the right time. What an asshole, I didn't listen this time. I guess what I'm saying is, it's possible to go on, even if you never 100% let go. The heart is a funny thing, there's room for a lot of love in there. I'm so sorry you're going through this, it sounds like you never expected this. I can't imagine losing the person I'm with now, I would lose all of my SI, because I simply couldn't go on. I'm older though, ugh. I wish I had something better to say, time is the only thing that will truly make it better. A good therapist would help to talk to. I kind of teared up at your post, my heart really goes out to you.
