Story Heart breaking yet accurate suicide note:

[MeltingHeart]

I recently read a line from a short extract of a suicide note and I think it really sums up the nature of depression- or not depression as such but rather just when you reach that point of hopelessness-where you simply have no desire to proceed with life, even IF it does have some good moments. The quote comes from a famous South African photojournalist that had documented some of the most harrowing scenes of human violence & suffering, if you see any of his photos- you will realise the impact this must have had on him- he was most famous for his photos of the famine in Sudan in the 90s, the little boy who was crouched over starving,with a vulture 'waiting' directly behind- this is not even the most shocking photo he has taken, it's just one of many. Just over a year after taking it- he would be dead from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Here is the quote "I'm really, really sorry. The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist. ...depressed ... without phone ... money for rent ... money for child support ... money for debts ... money!!! ... I am haunted by the vivid memories of killings & corpses & anger & pain ... of starving or wounded children, of trigger-happy madmen, often police, of killer executioners ..."

Whilst we may not have seen or experienced a fraction of what he did or what his tragic subjects suffered through... I think that the bit in bold is such a clear and concise expression of being done with life- It says it all really- for without any joy, with none at all...not even moments...then truly what is the point? there is none.

 

[CaptainT]

"The pain now is part of the happiness then...that's the deal" (C.S Lewis).

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

I am trying to Write mine, and it ended up something like this. I thought i wanted a calm, intellectual declaration of my reasoning. But every time i sit to write it comes out fragmented and desperate. Maybe thats a good thing? Show what its really like in my head...

 

[Brick In The Wall]

On the subject of happiness I always find myself remembering this from one of my favorite comedians. The above suicide note does resonate with me though on some levels.

"Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fucking list!"

Dennis Leary

 

[MeltingHeart]

I am trying to Write mine, and it ended up something like this. I thought i wanted a calm, intellectual declaration of my reasoning. But every time i sit to write it comes out fragmented and desperate. Maybe thats a good thing? Show what its really like in my head...

Ohh yeah totally.. I felt the same- was meant to just be concise and explain a few things- and then I just wrote pages and pages of disjointed, emotional ramblings...I find it quite an intense thing to do...as you at you are really seeing yr reasons in black and white in front of you-rather than just locked up in yr mind- good to show it as it is though I reckon- dont see why not...

On the subject of happiness I always find myself remembering this from one of my favorite comedians. The above suicide note does resonate with me though on some levels.

"Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fucking list!"

Dennis Leary

I thought he'd died! but hes still alive- think i only thought it 'cos of the name of a book (and show) of his I used to own-I presumed he had died of cancer! oops

 

[WhiteDespair]

The disjointed nature of the notes makes perfect sense. It's a highly activating document and the mind is going off on all sorts of tangents because every line interacts in some way with something else. Repressed memories flood back, emotions shift erratically, things become disordered.

On the subject of happiness I always find myself remembering this from one of my favorite comedians. The above suicide note does resonate with me though on some levels.

"Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fucking list!"

Dennis Leary

Knew it from the first line!