Dreamlike Reality

Dreamlike Reality

Bedhead šŸ’¤
Nov 29, 2021
74
It's not within my own interest to leave SS, I find this place extremely comforting and a safe haven and I still have to die . . . However, my boyfriend knows I spend a lot of time here. He says he "knows what these communities are like" and says it's not a healthy place for me to be and he worries.
I don't want to disappoint him at all, and since my plan to CTB was discovered, I think I'll be trying to distance myself from here to make him happy. I guess I'm just surprised someone cares about me at all, I want to keep him in my life while I'm here . . .

The thing is, it's extremely difficult for me to get away. It's like an addiction. Learning about methods and reading stories makes me feel at ease with where I am in life but I have to do it for him. The way I've been trying to do it isn't healthy at all in its own right (I can't eat anything if I open up the website at all, I've already failed today) so if anyone else here in Recovery has any better tips or anything I'd like to hear them. Thank you.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
I personally don't think you should do things "to make [your boyfriend] happy". But if it's your heart's telling you, then follow your heart. I'm well aware that some people think that being here, on this forum, is not very healthy and yada yada yada. And yeah. Agreed. Reading goodbye threads makes me cry and increases my desire to ctb. But this place also brings me comfort.
I guess the best way to stop visiting this site would be disabling your account.
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
We all like to do things on our own away from our bfs, mine doesn't know and he would prob react the same way as yours. That's why I never told him. Not that I have anything to hide, but he plays video games all day long which drive me insane. So this is my peaceful house.
 

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