Discussion Heading out to ctb ama

[goodSmelly]

Currently on my way to the location anyone have any last questions?

 

[JustSomeWeirdo]

Currently on my way to the location anyone have any last questions?

Make sure you land on your head if your unsure you will die on impact.

Currently on my way to the location anyone have any last questions?

(Guessing that your gonna jump)

 

[goodSmelly]

Make sure you land on your head if your unsure you will die on impact.

thank you for your concern, however, I wouldn't be jumping.

 

[JustSomeWeirdo]

thank you for your concern, however, I wouldn't be jumping.

Oh then what is it?

 

[pace_of_the_future]

How did you get the courage to proceed with it, what helped you set the date? (If not too personal ofc)

 

[waistcoat]

can you tell me about your bus stop? what made you choose that specific place - does it have an important memory attached to it or is it just a nice place you found? aside from the questions, i hope you find your peace, good luck.

 

[goodSmelly]

How did you get the courage to proceed with it, what helped you set the date? (If not too personal ofc)

Five years ago I set a date, where by if I wasn't happy or feeling like my life was heading in a positive direction I would ctb. today is that date. As far as gathering the courage goes, ive been extremely numb to the idea for the last 18 months-2 years. The date is the anniversary of me quitting my first real job.

 

[pace_of_the_future]

Five years ago I set a date, where by if I wasn't happy or feeling like my life was heading in a positive direction I would ctb. today is that date. As far as gathering the courage goes, ive been extremely numb to the idea for the last 18 months-2 years. The date is the anniversary of me quitting my first real job.

Thanks and wishing well

 

[goodSmelly]

Oh then what is it?

I'm not sure what the euphuism is on this site, but I have two methods both can be done at the stop.

 

[JustSomeWeirdo]

I'm not sure what the euphuism is on this site, but I have two methods both can be done at the stop.

Stop? Train maybe? Oh well. What ever it is. Wish you the best! Hopefully you should at rest soon.

 

[goodSmelly]

can you tell me about your bus stop? what made you choose that specific place - does it have an important memory attached to it or is it just a nice place you found? aside from the questions, i hope you find your peace, good luck.

Thank you kindly.

The location is purely practical. I consider more poetic locations but ultimately decided against it.

Stop? Train maybe? Oh well. What ever it is. Wish you the best! Hopefully you should at rest soon.

Thank you kindly.

 

[waistcoat]

Thank you kindly.

The location is purely practical. I consider more poetic locations but ultimately decided against it.

of course ~ i see, i hope your journey is everything you wish it to be.

 

[sybear]

Currently on my way to the location anyone have any last questions?

Did you or do you right now actually want to ctb or do you ultimately feel like you have been left with no choice? if you had viable options against ctb would you take it this instant? or would you still heavily consider ctb?

 

[goodSmelly]

Did you or do you right now actually want to ctb or do you ultimately feel like you have been left with no choice? if you had viable options against ctb would you take it this instant? or would you still heavily consider ctb?

This is more of a philosophical question. If, by some magical force I was presented with other options, I would not ctb. However, materially, I believe I have done everything within my ability to prevent such an outcome. As far as having no choice, this is the choice I made. I don't feel trapped or or forced, this is a conscious, planned decision I made.

 

[dontlook]

I hope it goes easily, we're here for you if you need

 

[sybear]

This is more of a philosophical question. If, by some magical force I was presented with other options, I would not ctb. However, materially, I believe I have done everything within my ability to prevent such an outcome. As far as having no choice, this is the choice I made. I don't feel trapped or or forced, this is a conscious, planned decision I made.

i understand completely, i hope that your attempt goes soomthly and you achieve what you truly want. i asked because i ve been trying to figure mysef out as ive been battling depression for almost all my life, im 21 now and though ive came a long way im tired of fighting everyday just to survive. ive been suicidal for the last year or 2 and ive been fully planning out what and where and ho i want to ctb. when i say contemplating suicide only means im scared of death and the unknown but arent we all? anyways my fear is no longer becoming a deterrant but a proper plan is.

 

[goodSmelly]

i understand completely, i hope that your attempt goes soomthly and you achieve what you truly want. i asked because i ve been trying to figure mysef out as ive been battling depression for almost all my life, im 21 now and though ive came a long way im tired of fighting everyday just to survive. ive been suicidal for the last year or 2 and ive been fully planning out what and where and ho i want to ctb. when i say contemplating suicide only means im scared of death and the unknown but arent we all? anyways my fear is no longer becoming a deterrant but a proper plan is.

I will refrain from giving any advice. I hope whatever you decide to do, ctb or otherwise results in the best possible outcome.

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish for achieving what you desire. I hope all goes well with you.

 

[goodSmelly]

here now, just need to wait for the right moment now

 

[waistcoat]

here now, just need to wait for the right moment now

what would you define as the right moment? also, if i may ask - how do you intend on passing?

 

[goodSmelly]

what would you define as the right moment? also, if i may ask - how do you intend on passing?

I don't want to outright say, but i have two methods. One requires something that I don't have but will be here, and they other can be done anytime I want but makes me decently nervous.

 

[waistcoat]

I don't want to outright say, but i have two methods. One requires something that I don't have but will be here, and they other can be done anytime I want but makes me decently nervous.

i see, is there a reason you're adverse to telling us your methods - or is it just personal preference?

 

[goodSmelly]

i see, is there a reason you're adverse to telling us your methods - or is it just personal preference?

personal

 

[waistcoat]

personal

in that case, i wish you the best of luck and hope whatever method you choose is peaceful and is everything you hope for.

 

[goodSmelly]

15 more minutes anxiety is starting to creep in

 

[2messdup]

15 more minutes anxiety is starting to creep in

No shame if you're having second thoughts. Lots of us do. There's no rush. It's just a date. Xxx

 

[waistcoat]

15 more minutes anxiety is starting to creep in

it's been 18 minutes since this post - if you've caught your bus i hope it was everything you hoped for, and that it was peaceful. if you are still with us, it's okay - there's no rush, you can always come back another time, you're strong.

 

[L'absent]

Have a good trip. I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best.

 

[Roadrunner]

I wish you success with whatever you choose when that moment comes.