• Hey Guest,

    We will never comply with any of OFCOM's demands or any other nations censorious demands for that matter. We will only follow the laws of the land of which our server is located, which is the US.

    Any demands for censorship or requests to comply with the law outside of the US will be promptly ignored.

    No foreign laws or pressure will make us comply with anti-censorship laws and we will protect the speech of our members, regardless of where they might live in the world. If that means being blocked in the UK, so be it. We would advise that any UK member gets a VPN to browse the site, or use TOR.

    However, today, we stand up these these governments that want to bully or censor this website.

    Fuck OFCOM, and fuck any media organization or group that think it's cool or fun to stalk or bully people that suffering in this world.

    Edit: We also wanted to address the veiled threats made against a staff member in the UK by the BBC in the news today. We are undeterred by any threats, intimination, by the BBC or by any other groups dedicated to doxxing and harassing our staff and members. Journalists from the BBC, CTV, Kansas Star, Daily Mail and many other outlets have continuiously ignored the fact that many of the people that they're interviewing (such as @leelfc84 on Twitter/X) and propping up are the same people posting addresses of staff members and our founders on social media. We show them proof of this and they ignore it and don't address it.They're all just as evil as each other, and should be treated accordingly. They do not care about the safety of our staff members, founders, or administrators, or even members, so why would they care about you?

    Now that we have your attention, journalists, will you ever address this? You've given these evil people interviews, and free press.

Heartaches

Heartaches

Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
May 6, 2021
252
TW. Mentions of grooming and self-harm

My birthday was sometime ago. It's been a crazy two years and I haven't been able to gain any further clarity for my future. I would say I've become more fearful of life.

Looking back at my childhood, I still can't understand where my life went wrong. People always told me I was destined for a good life. I was a smart, well-behaved and curious kid, excited at what the world had for him.

I'm in my early 20's and everyday is an inner struggle for survival. I don't wanna live, I don't wanna suffer. It pains me to see myself in the mirror and realize the great failure I became, the great disappointment it was for everyone who ever believed in me. Not even my father has faith in me anymore.

I don't feel like an adult, I still feel like a teen. I look back at my actual teenage years and wonder if I'm compensating for the lack of experiences and growth. I was an undiagnosed, mentally ill, emotionally neglected, academically pressured, socially-stunted teen who was a recurring victim of grooming. Most of my adolescence was me feeling miserable for my inability to build true friendships and constant mental breakdowns that forced me out of school; on-and-off therapy; frequent cutting and staying home. It was a lonely, miserable existence. I wasn't given a lot of help until I was almost 18, and a lot of it I've had to look for myself.

Now as an adult, I don't know what I want or where I want to go. I'm academically behind and scared of looking for a job. I stay home and exist. The mere act of being home provokes a deep sense of guilt inside me. My mother loves me and has shown her support multiple times, but I can't feel as nothing but a parasite. Less than trash.

I've looked for help in friends, therapy, meds and other places, but I feel mistreated and misunderstood. Psychiatry especially has proved to be deeply hurtful. I decided to see one after 4 years off meds and I regret it. The doctor doesn't listen to me, dismisses my concerns and misgenders me so much it's not even funny. The worst part is that I went to him because I had heard he had trans patients, but he has shown so much ignorance in trans issues it's baffling. I have to wait a couple of months for the meds to take effect, but he didn't explain that to me. I feel betrayed.

These days I've felt so much pressure to take decisions about my body and my future that I'm not comfortable with. I feel like my bodily autonomy and choices are not respected. And whenever I speak up, I'm dismissed. I can't get any fucking break.

Suicide, to me, feels like liberation, the ultimate act of self-care/self-preservation. But I haven't been able to carry it out due to multiple reasons. I'm hoping to be able to do it before the end of the year. I can't stand any of this crap any longer.

It's awful. I don't know how I'm supposed to function in this cruel, unjust world. A bird cannot learn to fly if its wings are torn apart and gets mocked for it. A bird won't look into the mirror for fear of looking at what could've been, at what could never be.​
 
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Reactions: Unknown21, Zhendou and wannabesoftware
gayayi4811

gayayi4811

Member
Aug 23, 2024
13
The mere act of being home provokes a deep sense of guilt inside me.
You don't have to do anything, you didn't ever sign up for this. We will all be dead at some point and nobody will remember if you adhered to these standards of having a job or some type of success. That thought might help you have an easier time while you are still here. I hope you find a way to stop the pain whatever happens in the end.
 
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Reactions: Zhendou

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