Why would you want to have kids? Why would you want to bring another human being into this incredibly hostile world? Your child will be born in a pro-suffering world that doesn't even allow him to end his life peacefully. Do you have any idea how horrible that is? If you really care about your future child, you wouldn't dare to expose him to this predicament.
It doesn't cease to amaze me how people see the world for the vicious place that it is but still decide to bring children into it.
TheSpookyNameGuy
There's nothing here..
- Apr 30, 2023
- 646
Normal people don't think, they mate like unthinking apes.
At_The_Threshold
Member
- Jun 20, 2023
- 5
I think a large motivator for having children is that it "validates" the lives and works of the parents. To have and maintain a family is saying to society "Look, I made it!" Unfortunately, for a large amount of parents, they give little thought on how to manage their lives around raising the child, the genuine sacrifice a good upbringing entails. Of course, all parents start of not knowing what they're doing, but learn along the way. Yet we have very misguided ideas of what having children will be like. We either expect them to be copies of the parents and/or for the educational system to completely deal with raising them, allowing them to be convenient trophies of perceived success.
Despite the horrific climate of our current world, both economically and environmentally, I think it is possible to provide a "good" upbringing for a child. Again, it requires immense sacrifice. My case for example. My parents were both poor, they divorced, I had a lot of trouble and trauma throughout my life and suffered for *BUT* I got the education I needed (special needs, which is a fight to get) because one of my parents worked hard and made their *life's work" my upbringing. Now, they did (and are still doing) a LOT of things WRONG, but I got ahead of the majority of kids because my one parent fought for the right education and (I cannot stress this enough) taught me to read at a very young age. My parent did, not the teachers, my parent. If you overtly rely on teachers to teach literacy to your kids with no work from you, your kid will either be illiterate or will struggle vastly through school. When you have kids, they become your life's work. Anything else is irresponsibility.
I went off a bit of a tangent there, I'm sorry for that, I felt it needed to be said. (I used "parent" because I did not want to disclose any unneeded info)
Despite the horrific climate of our current world, both economically and environmentally, I think it is possible to provide a "good" upbringing for a child. Again, it requires immense sacrifice. My case for example. My parents were both poor, they divorced, I had a lot of trouble and trauma throughout my life and suffered for *BUT* I got the education I needed (special needs, which is a fight to get) because one of my parents worked hard and made their *life's work" my upbringing. Now, they did (and are still doing) a LOT of things WRONG, but I got ahead of the majority of kids because my one parent fought for the right education and (I cannot stress this enough) taught me to read at a very young age. My parent did, not the teachers, my parent. If you overtly rely on teachers to teach literacy to your kids with no work from you, your kid will either be illiterate or will struggle vastly through school. When you have kids, they become your life's work. Anything else is irresponsibility.
I went off a bit of a tangent there, I'm sorry for that, I felt it needed to be said. (I used "parent" because I did not want to disclose any unneeded info)
The smartest thing I ever did was not procreating.
Apart from being a child of two people who should absolutely not have been parents and wishing they didn't bring me into this world I also do not understand in the slightest why having children is still such a normalized thing. The world is awful, will likely just get worse, why would you ever want to bring a child into this world?
BoyInTheBox
INFP 4w5
- Jun 6, 2023
- 80
This is the reason for why I'm an antinatalist honestly
Most people like their lives. I've given up arguing with people about this now. If you're a sensitive individual then this life can be a horror show, but to an average person with all the usual self enhancement biases then theres something wrong with you if you feel like you want it to end. David Benatar has endured abuse for pointing out the coherent points of antinatalism
alrondlondo
Member
- Jun 5, 2023
- 23
Not everyone has such a terrible life as us, so if they can handle it, then please, that's their business.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,920
It's certainly disgusting and unacceptable to procreate into this hellish reality, I wish that humans were compassionate enough to leave the non-existent alone in peace but sadly so many people are too blinded by delusions and are just incredibly selfish, they completely lack any awareness.
This human species was a horrific mistake and should go extinct through people no longer so selfishly forcing life here, to me it's like a terrible crime forcing life into this harmful world where there's unlimited potential to be tortured with no straightforward way to leave. All of the suffering that humans go through in the first place was completely unnecessary and procreation is the ultimate cause of it all, as without life one cannot suffer. Forcing life into this world will always be a tragedy, more than anything I wish I never existed.
This human species was a horrific mistake and should go extinct through people no longer so selfishly forcing life here, to me it's like a terrible crime forcing life into this harmful world where there's unlimited potential to be tortured with no straightforward way to leave. All of the suffering that humans go through in the first place was completely unnecessary and procreation is the ultimate cause of it all, as without life one cannot suffer. Forcing life into this world will always be a tragedy, more than anything I wish I never existed.
Terrible00
Hated by so called "loved ones".
- Jun 11, 2023
- 50
Never planned to have any, too much problems, too much work, little freetime. And then later find out that they ctb cause they realized how horrible this world is.
But I am not gonna be alive for so long luckily.
But I am not gonna be alive for so long luckily.
Pidgeons_Sparrows
-flying rat
- Apr 16, 2023
- 627
to be a selfish piece of shit, to have someone to take care of you when youre old.
cami
the lonely
- May 27, 2023
- 186
not everyone suffers, and if they want kids that is their choice. but yes, ultimately it is a selfish decision to have children.
They should be called out for being selfish and inflicting life on other people. I wish someone had made it their business to tell my parents not to have kids and save me from this hell.
dreambound
Student
- Dec 14, 2021
- 110
-----you worded this perfectly, & there is no valid argument against it...
having children is a reckless gamble with someone else's life...
Every time i see people with baby and children , i say to myself omg , its a fucking crime bringing somebody into this shitty world , pain , disease and all the shit he will go through in his life , even good times doesnt make it for all that crap he will endure without is consent.
As much as I wanted a family, I'm so glad I didn't condemn a soul to THIS.
I do feel like this personally- yes. I'm an anti-natilist deep down.
Still- there are some suicidal parents here and I feel bad that the other day, @EmmaD actually left the site because she was finding all the parent-hating stuff too much. I just find it difficult now- because I have been guilty of this. I guess many of us wish we hadn't been born to begin with, so we tend to vent.
Still- for them- they are struggling too. It's kind of perverse to expect them to feel guilty about having their children. It's done now. I'm not so sure talk like this 'spreads awareness' either. It seems to me like a lot of people here are anti-natilist anyway. For those that want kids- I'm not so sure they'd be swayed by all of this.
That just leaves the ACTUAL parents. They likely have a lot more guilt to deal with and some may feel like they can't actually leave their children. So- they are stuck here- like us. So- they come here- because there aren't too many other places you can go and people hate on them here. I don't know what the answer is really. People deserve free speech- certainly and anti-natilism frequently goes hand in hand with ideation. I just feel kind of bad for the members here who are parents. I don't know if we can even do it but I wish there was a way we could express ourselves without ostracizing people.
Still- there are some suicidal parents here and I feel bad that the other day, @EmmaD actually left the site because she was finding all the parent-hating stuff too much. I just find it difficult now- because I have been guilty of this. I guess many of us wish we hadn't been born to begin with, so we tend to vent.
Still- for them- they are struggling too. It's kind of perverse to expect them to feel guilty about having their children. It's done now. I'm not so sure talk like this 'spreads awareness' either. It seems to me like a lot of people here are anti-natilist anyway. For those that want kids- I'm not so sure they'd be swayed by all of this.
That just leaves the ACTUAL parents. They likely have a lot more guilt to deal with and some may feel like they can't actually leave their children. So- they are stuck here- like us. So- they come here- because there aren't too many other places you can go and people hate on them here. I don't know what the answer is really. People deserve free speech- certainly and anti-natilism frequently goes hand in hand with ideation. I just feel kind of bad for the members here who are parents. I don't know if we can even do it but I wish there was a way we could express ourselves without ostracizing people.
Pluto
Meowing to go out
- Dec 27, 2020
- 4,113
Selfish is an interesting word. I failed to ever reach a point where I was capable of being a part of the parenthood club. I see the appeal in theory, but alas, being loved was never seriously on the cards. Now I'm in the 'too late' age bracket.
In the past, I spent time with various nieces and nephews. Passers-by always wrongly assumed I was the father, and I tended to be treated like a king as a result. Similarly, in casual conversation, people seem to bond over parenthood issues. In my case, there's only awkward silence.
The vibe that I get from society is that I am considered selfish for not having kids. As in, I'm failing to produce future taxpayers, or future potential contributors to society. And instead, I'm a worthless lowlife who just invests energy on himself.
Though I stop short of dehumanising parents, I have many arguments in my defense that centre around caring for the environment, humane treatment of animals and investing society's energy in supporting the less fortunate. From this perspective, the norm of retreating into a family home and not giving a damn about anything outside of one's own immediate relatives is itself fraught with ethical issues. But apparently my perspective is not valid because it's too far left of the accepted Overton window. Majority rules.
I was younger and in love, I wanted to give my wife a baby. I didn't know what she was really like. I didn't know she was going to cause all the drama she's gone on to cause.
Now I have a very troubled 9 year old, and a 6 year old who will one day find out that his mother basically raped his father to bring him into the world.
Now I have a very troubled 9 year old, and a 6 year old who will one day find out that his mother basically raped his father to bring him into the world.
Selfish as in there's no benefit to the child to be brought into the world since they are not missing out beforehand when they don't exist. It's done purely for the benefit of parents. You're definitely not selfish for not having kids-we're overpopulated enough as it is. You sound like a very empathetic guy, and obviously I don't know your circumstances or why you think being loved was never seriously on the cards, but for most women-a childless older guy is VERY appealing.
poisonousspit
Fairy
- Apr 11, 2023
- 17
as much as i love children, i couldn't imagine bringing one into this cruel and unjust world because of my own selfish desires. that's why i'll be staying childfree.
