Haven't been taking my meds

[symphony]

Wasn't sure where to post this, it's definitely not off-topic but not 100% suicide discussion or 100% recovery discussion either.

I've been in continuous psychiatric care for years. I've taken more meds than I can count or remember. SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, atypical antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics... Most of the time I've been taking at least 3 or 4 different prescription at a time, and at one point it got as high as 8 different meds of so. Since I started treatment, I've never been unmedicated. I've constantly said that nothing has really made a difference at all, excepting temporary benefits from some sleep and anxiety meds. But then again, it's hard to tell if meds are helping at all when you can't remember an unmedicated basis of comparison.

Well, I've been in a weird transitory period with treatment lately. I discharged from an intensive outpatient program earlier this year and struggled for a bit to find a new psychiatrist. I saw this person twice and the dynamic was... weird. I feel like we hit it off wrong in our first session. The doctor gave me a diagnosis that made absolutely no sense given my symptoms and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I came back a month later and the doctor encouraged me to seek a higher level of care elsewhere and discharge from their practice. I got discharge paperwork in my email the next day and just went along with it. I'm moving soon and have no plans to find another psychiatrist until after that move so I wouldn't have enough meds to bridge the gap.

But honestly? I stopped taking meds even before then. It's been probably about a month. I never made a decision to just quit or anything, just kinda got to the stage of "why bother" and started skipping more and more doses until I just... stopped.

And honestly, I don't notice a single difference. I maybe feel a little less numb. Definitely not worse, more unstable, more depressed, more impulsive, or more suicidal.

And that realization has left me feeling kinda cynical about my relationship to psychiatry as a whole.

Just wanted to share my thoughts. So, thanks for reading, I guess.

 

[BetweenRadioStations]

Thanks for sharing. I stopped my meds recently too so your post strikes a chord with me

 

[WannaBdoneSufferng]

Thank you for sharing.

Meds can help but they are not a catch-all solution. I am glad you feel not worse, without them.
I think it should be more individualized. Like so many things. Meds and psychiatry as a whole...

When I was 16 I had such faith that the Freud's and Jungs would find me and help me...
But the exposure I have had to the people who were supposed to help showed me that the people who were trying to treat me were often struggling as much or more than I was.

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

Wasn't sure where to post this, it's definitely not off-topic but not 100% suicide discussion or 100% recovery discussion either.

I've been in continuous psychiatric care for years. I've taken more meds than I can count or remember. SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, atypical antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics... Most of the time I've been taking at least 3 or 4 different prescription at a time, and at one point it got as high as 8 different meds of so. Since I started treatment, I've never been unmedicated. I've constantly said that nothing has really made a difference at all, excepting temporary benefits from some sleep and anxiety meds. But then again, it's hard to tell if meds are helping at all when you can't remember an unmedicated basis of comparison.

Well, I've been in a weird transitory period with treatment lately. I discharged from an intensive outpatient program earlier this year and struggled for a bit to find a new psychiatrist. I saw this person twice and the dynamic was... weird. I feel like we hit it off wrong in our first session. The doctor gave me a diagnosis that made absolutely no sense given my symptoms and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I came back a month later and the doctor encouraged me to seek a higher level of care elsewhere and discharge from their practice. I got discharge paperwork in my email the next day and just went along with it. I'm moving soon and have no plans to find another psychiatrist until after that move so I wouldn't have enough meds to bridge the gap.

But honestly? I stopped taking meds even before then. It's been probably about a month. I never made a decision to just quit or anything, just kinda got to the stage of "why bother" and started skipping more and more doses until I just... stopped.

And honestly, I don't notice a single difference. I maybe feel a little less numb. Definitely not worse, more unstable, more depressed, more impulsive, or more suicidal.

And that realization has left me feeling kinda cynical about my relationship to psychiatry as a whole.

Just wanted to share my thoughts. So, thanks for reading, I guess.

Good luck! Hope this new stage of your life goes well.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Meds can help but they are not a catch-all solution. I am glad you feel not worse, without them.

Same. I'm always afraid when people come off their medication like that and I hope you've been off your meds a little by little and not all of a sudden, but I'm glad to hear that you're not worse. See day by day how you feel and anything you can always go back.

 

[DarkNearDeath]

You're not alone. I stopped because I was remembering less. It actually takes a toll without really realizing it.

 

[western_heart]

Relatable

I have been on dozens of drugs, on and off, and have been resistant to antipsychotics and SSRIs. Doctors still wanted to prescribe new ones to me even after I told them about having bad experiences. Psychiatrists rarely respect boundaries. I didn't bother to find a psychiatrist after moving two years ago. My primary care doctor has been happy to keep prescribing the things I was on before, and I've been slowly tapering off most of the drugs at my own (slow) pace.

My memory is better, cognition much better, and to whatever extent my mood is less stable, I let it happen and do my best to adapt.

 

[waitingforrest]

Same. I'm going to taper off meds. I will take emotionally unstable over brain fog and tremors any day.