Discussion Have you thought about your funeral? do you want an input? do you care?

[weedoge]

As the title says, do you people ever consider if you'll have a funeral? Would anybody attend? What might happen there? Will they play music that is relevant to you at all or some sentimental thing for themselves that holds no value to you personally?

If you gave directions for your funeral is it likely they'd be honored after death? I've thought a few times that I'd love to choose my own music. I've spent so long not being listened to or considered as much as I'd have liked, my suicide note is 6000+ words long so far because I feel that I have so much to get off my chest and I want to leave something lasting. I want people to hear my last thoughts and words. I was almost inspired to write a book by members here but I just don't have the energy or brain capacity to do it as much as I'd love to get all my thoughts down...

So I'm back to this again, considering my funeral. Perhaps I could request for something of mine to be read. I'd most of all very much like to request music so that in those most final moments people would have no choice but to listen to my feelings in the form of my choices. I feel that the only people there would be immediately family and some of my mothers friends but it may be the last thing I can control.

 

[Voldmort]

I feel disturbed to know that all my relatives would notice me, and just when I am in a coffin. I prefer to be cremated without ceremony, but I do not know if they will accept it after the suicide.

What to do with the ashes? I think the best thing to do would be to throw away and slowly forget my existence.

 

[Miss clefable]

Boiurn im coming as a blossom tree well theoretically speaking

 

[weedoge]

I feel disturbed to know that all my relatives would notice me, and just when I am in a coffin. I prefer to be cremated without ceremony, but I do not know if they will accept it after the suicide.

I'm very curious to know how many of your final wishes would be respected in this situation? Is it usual? I understand this feeling slightly, I never wanted to die using a gruesome method and I almost resent the fact that somebody will have to see my body and dispose of it but that's just how it is.

 

[Voldmort]

I'm very curious to know how many of your final wishes would be respected in this situation? Is it usual? I understand this feeling slightly, I never wanted to die using a gruesome method and I almost resent the fact that somebody will have to see my body and dispose of it but that's just how it is.

I can not say what I believe will happen, because I do not know, but I am comforted by the idea that I will not be there to worry.

 

[mothfly]

I used to be a little concerned about music in the past. But now... like, whatever, I won't hear it anyway. Let there be silence. Also, I don't want a funeral.

 

[weedoge]

I can not say what I believe will happen, because I do not know, but I am comforted by the idea that I will not be there to worry.

Its true, maybe I should do what I want and just hope its respected after I'm gone since I won't matter

 

[weedoge]

I used to be a little concerned about music in the past. But now... like, whatever, I won't hear it anyway. Let there be silence. Also, I don't want a funeral.

Seems a lot of people feel this way, I suppose I have this bitterness that fuels these weird desires.

 

[lv-gras]

Seems a lot of people feel this way, I suppose I have this bitterness that fuels these weird desires.

no, your desires make sense, too, as much as any desires do. people can think differently about this.

and you don't really seem bitter?

 

[mothfly]

Seems a lot of people feel this way, I suppose I have this bitterness that fuels these weird desires.

nah, that's normal. brain needs something to be occupied with.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Dunno really... funerals are there for the comfort of the living... I'm happy to be discarded with the household trash.

 

[CJM]

Make it cheap. Funerals can be a financial burden.

 

[blueming]

I wouldn't want a funeral. Especially since my method might leave my body badly damaged and looking absolutely awful, and I wouldn't want my family seeing it. But in the end I'll be dead so I don't really care what happens. If a funeral gives my family closure, I'd be fine with it.

 

[weedoge]

Make it cheap. Funerals can be a financial burden.

Oh yeah, I'm less concerned with the ceremony itself than taking it as an opportunity to send one last message. Idk.

And I guess I'm just bitter at the cruelness of life I never realised, and knowing I never would have realised if I'd lived like most normal people. I feel bitter that they only tell you half the story when growing up and I suppose I direct most of that towards myself now rather than others, or I try to.

 

[Morning Angel]

I must admit I avoid thinking of what the post-mortem mourning rituals will look like. But wow, a 6000 word letter! That's quite an achievement. Far more effort than I put in.

When I first started planning my exit, I did consider requesting certain music at the funeral, but I thought against making such requests as funerals are generally for the living and not the dead. I asked in my will to have no ceremony and to be cremated, but my family never really took my requests seriously in life so why would they in death?

I created a music playlist for (now estranged) friends to listen to with my favorite songs and songs we had enjoyed together. It will be delivered later via boomerang along with a letter. At least then they'd have something to remember me by that isn't associated with the event of a funeral.

 

[Trashcan]

I don't really care too much what they do with my body as I'll be dead. They could just throw it out for all I care. I'm guessing they'll probably cremate me and maybe do a ceremony, I don't think even a dozen people will show up. Probably just my immediate family and then maybe 4 other people if that.

But with that said, I'm not trying to diss people who do care (it's okay to care about what happens, most people do). Hopefully if you write them down, they will get respected.

 

[jaemus12]

Hmm. This is a good question. To be honest I never really gave too much thought on the the funeral itself. I'd imagine the music is going to be a Buddhist chant since my mom is Buddhist. I don't mind it so it's fine. For the rest of the funeral I just assume it's going to be a classic funeral where I'm in a coffin and people talk for a little or something and send me off to crematorium or whatever.

The only thing I specifically put down on my suicide note is the burial, I want to be inside a mausoleum whether in a coffin and placed inside the large stone plots (sorry I don't know the technical terms of the thing. Basically inside the building) or cremated and placed inside the building. I hate the outdoors so I'd much rather be placed indoors.

 

[Nofaith]

...No.

 

[CRM]

I'm being cremated. I have an irrational fear of retaining consciousness after death somehow but not being in control of my body, and feeling the pain of being burned to a crisp. I suppose that's still better than rotting in a casket for decades.

I don't know if there will be a ceremony. My grandfather died earlier this year and they just tossed his ashes into the ocean. I personally don't care if they keep mine or just dispose of them. I don't really want a ceremony because it would draw more attention to my pathetic life.

 

[Maravillosa]

Oh yes, I definitely want an input on my funeral! I would like specific hymns sung at my funeral Mass ("Shelter Me, O God", "Prayer of St. Francis", "Ubi Caritas", "Ave Maria", "Flos Carmeli"). There is a particular dress that I would like my corpse to wear for my burial, as I described in an earlier post on this forum:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/what-would-you-like-to-be-buried-in.4139/

If possible, I would like to have a natural burial, as I described in an earlier post on this forum:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/burial.4670/#post-80769

If that is not possible, I would like my body to be buried at Holy Cross Cemetery, a Catholic cemetery in Culver City, California, as I described in an earlier post on this forum:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-do-i-mentally-prep-myself-for-death.4333/#post-65374

And they would allow someone who has ctb to be buried there. I have visited at Holy Cross Cemetery a few times the grave of the French-born actor Charles Boyer (1899-1978), who ctb by Seconal overdose two days after the death of his wife, the British actress Pat Paterson (1910-1978), from colon cancer:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/poeforward/4191633201/in/faves-44365584@N03/

Also, their only child Michael (1943-1965), who ctb by Russian roulette at the age of 21, is buried at Holy Cross next to his parents.

I just hope that, years (even centuries?) after my death, people who have read the book(s) that I intend to write and/or have read about me will visit my grave and to pray for the repose of my soul, just as I did for the souls of Charles Boyer and his family. And I hope that I would be in a position in the afterlife to notice such attention and prayers, and to be pleased by them. How vain I am!

Edit: I had duplicated one link, so I corrected the third link that I put down in this post.

 

[Wantingpeace]

I asked my family if something ever happened to me to scatter ashes here, on this sacred island: ttps://www.scotland-info.co.uk/iona.htm

Since I started to seriously think research ctb I think I would like for a service to be held in a spiritual community and my ashes scattered there or buried here: http://www.findhornhinterland.org/green-burial/

I will put in my note that it is ultimately up to my family whether burial or cremetian is preferable and also depending on costs. Especially for my mum I think having a grave to visit may be best. Oh upset now.

 

[Wantingpeace]

Oh yes, I definitely want an input on my funeral! I would like specific hymns sung at my funeral Mass ("Shelter Me, O God", "Prayer of St. Francis", "Ubi Caritas", "Ave Maria", "Flos Carmeli"). There is a particular dress that I would like my corpse to wear for my burial, as I described in an earlier post on this forum:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/what-would-you-like-to-be-buried-in.4139/

If possible, I would like to have a natural burial, as I described in an earlier post on this forum:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/burial.4670/#post-80769

If that is not possible, I would like my body to be buried at Holy Cross Cemetery, a Catholic cemetery in Culver City, California, as I described in an earlier post on this forum:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/burial.4670/#post-80769

And they would allow someone who has ctb to be buried there. I have visited at Holy Cross Cemetery a few times the grave of the French-born actor Charles Boyer (1899-1978), who ctb by Seconal overdose two days after the death of his wife, the British actress Pat Paterson (1910-1978), from colon cancer:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/poeforward/4191633201/in/faves-44365584@N03/

Also, their only child Michael (1943-1965), who ctb by Russian roulette at the age of 21, is buried at Holy Cross next to his parents.

I just hope that, years (even centuries?) after my death, people who have read the book(s) that I intend to write and/or have read about me will visit my grave and to pray for the repose of my soul, just as I did for the souls of Charles Boyer and his family. And I hope that I would be in a position in the afterlife to notice such attention and prayers, and to be pleased by them. How vain I am!

I shall look at all these links later. I would be interested to see.

 

[Kev]

I plan to go out via gunshot to the head and also to donate my organs upon death, so an open-casket funeral wouldn't be in the cards. I don't really care about what happens after I die, you know, cause I'll be dead. But ideally I would want my family to spend as little money on a funeral as possible; I've financially burdened them enough. It'd be cool to get put into one of those burial bio-pods where the nutrients from your remains are used to help grow a tree.

 

[Jon86]

I've been isolating for so long, that it will be so sparsely attended I don't care. My parents can do as they please, whatever suits them, couldn't care less.

 

[Mugara]

I really want to be cremated and buried in urn in my father's grave but my family fond of loud ceremonies and fancy coffins, they think that a corpse should be treated well on his last road. So they will spend huge amount of money for classic burial instead.
In my note I will try to make my wish certain. I'm rotting enough being alive, don't want it to continue after I die.

 

[TheEndOfTime]

I don't want a funeral I don't have the money for it and don't won't to put that kind of financial burden on my family. I'm happy to just be cremated then they can do a makeshift funeral to provide closure if they need it where the ashes are scattered. Think the cheap ones here are £2000 the robbing bastards.

 

[TengoK]

I've specifically said in my suicide not to family and the few friends I still have that I want no funeral, nothing. I've stated it in capitals to emphasise the point, telling that both a funeral and I am a waste of time, effort and money. No one wanted to know me while I'm alive and I'm damned if I'm going to give them the sense of self-righteousness to stand mourning me when I'm dead. None of them even know me anymore, anyway.

Quite honestly, if I could arrange my own direct cremation in advance - beng picked up and disposed of on the day I ctb, I would. But I think booking that would be rather a giveaway.

 

[MachineGunDani]

I don't want a funeral and I'd like to b cremated. I don't want people looking at my dead body lol

 

[Avicii]

As the title says, do you people ever consider if you'll have a funeral? Would anybody attend? What might happen there? Will they play music that is relevant to you at all or some sentimental thing for themselves that holds no value to you personally?

If you gave directions for your funeral is it likely they'd be honored after death? I've thought a few times that I'd love to choose my own music. I've spent so long not being listened to or considered as much as I'd have liked, my suicide note is 6000+ words long so far because I feel that I have so much to get off my chest and I want to leave something lasting. I want people to hear my last thoughts and words. I was almost inspired to write a book by members here but I just don't have the energy or brain capacity to do it as much as I'd love to get all my thoughts down...

So I'm back to this again, considering my funeral. Perhaps I could request for something of mine to be read. I'd most of all very much like to request music so that in those most final moments people would have no choice but to listen to my feelings in the form of my choices. I feel that the only people there would be immediately family and some of my mothers friends but it may be the last thing I can control.

Dont want one - if I'm to die before my mom dies then yes a funeral for her sake, after she dies then a direct cremation cheapest job around !!!!! £2k for direct and upto £5/6k for funeral

 

[Jaded]

Yeah. The cheapest basic funeral has went up almost £200 to approaching 2k. Oh well.