Venting Have you ever wished to be someone else?

[kvheeo]

I don't like my life. Not really my "life", the feeling of it. If you look at it from the outside you won't see anything really wrong with it, it would probably look quite normal: two parents that love each other and a younger sister. But then why does it feel so wrong?
My mother is never there, and my father hates me, and I kinda hate him too, the only think he gave me in my 20 years of life are his anger issues and daddy issues ig. All his love is for my sister, she's the princess of the house, everything she does it' always right and perfect, call me jealous if you want but it's hard to constantly live in someone else's shadow and not be seen, understood and/or loved from your own family. I'm weak, cause despite all the time they've hurt me I still love them, and I wait longing for their approval.
Everyday I spend time with my friends, talking, laughing, but it all feels so meaningless, so fake. I can't do it anymore, every time I wake up in the morning I feel so wrong, like I don't belong here. I wanna end it, but a part of me is scared, What if it hurts? What if it doesn't work and then I have to face the consequences and nothing will change? I just wanna be "normal", the only time I feel at peace is when I'm asleep. I reached I point where there's no way back. I hate everyone around me, I hate this feeling and I hate myself. I wish I was someone else.

 

[mortuarymary]

Maybe my sister, but her life isn't perfect either but she's got a calmness about her. Always as done.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No. What's the difference really between any human or other animal? Every human will get old and die anyway.

every human is under constant threat of unbearable pain , and or something really horrible happening to them

What is worth going through the most unbearable excruciating constant unending pain? Is a clickbait youtub video worth that , a sandwich? No

There is pain so bad it makes everything else meaningless: so why doesn't anyone talk about this and the fact will all die anyway?

Every animal including humans is always hungry , thirsty other needs and wants . And has to work a lot every day just to satisfy some of them and stave off the pain of extreme hunger , pain of extreme thirst, of the cold weather, other pains ...

Every human will have daily suffering ( take out trash, wash clothes , work , problems, groceries, relationship problems, things going wrong), and occasionally very bad suffering ( romantic break up, grief family member dead, kidney stones etc). But they forget how bad that pain was. Don't think so ? As an example look at how many will get their heart broken and that pain is really bad but then after a few months again back into another romantic relationship.

A human is just an animal . A consciousness trapped in an animal body prison. Furthermore that prison is trapped in this evil oppressive anti suicide prison world.

The horrors of old age are unimaginable. See nursing homes dementia, immobility, bed sores etc

There's much more horrors to life as a human.... All this and more horrible things for no objective purpose . Life is meaningless

There is pain so bad it makes everything else meaningless

They tells us life is a beautiful gift, "enjoy" , seek pleasure . No to the garbage with that " pleasure" bait trash. I fear unbearable pain = life / existence. Eternal Non-existence is the only safety from unbearable pain that

There are so many horrible things in life and this evil world , diseases , old age , unbearable pain , stroke , kidnappings torture,accidents , lies , scams , oppression, 1000s more ... But they constantly Tell us life is a beautiful gift

They made this world a prison by making nembutal and assisted suicide crimes

I've only touched in the horrors of existence. There's much more and each of these sentences should be expanded into chapters of book to explain it more.

Normies no one knows what goes on in nursing homes . I haven't seen normies bring up anything I thing I typed here

 

[Abyssal]

Id probably still want to die.

 

[3ndmym1sery]

all the time

 

[sserafim]

I don't like my life. Not really my "life", the feeling of it. If you look at it from the outside you won't see anything really wrong with it, it would probably look quite normal: two parents that love each other and a younger sister. But then why does it feel so wrong?
My mother is never there, and my father hates me, and I kinda hate him too, the only think he gave me in my 20 years of life are his anger issues and daddy issues ig. All his love is for my sister, she's the princess of the house, everything she does it' always right and perfect, call me jealous if you want but it's hard to constantly live in someone else's shadow and not be seen, understood and/or loved from your own family. I'm weak, cause despite all the time they've hurt me I still love them, and I wait longing for their approval.
Everyday I spend time with my friends, talking, laughing, but it all feels so meaningless, so fake. I can't do it anymore, every time I wake up in the morning I feel so wrong, like I don't belong here. I wanna end it, but a part of me is scared, What if it hurts? What if it doesn't work and then I have to face the consequences and nothing will change? I just wanna be "normal", the only time I feel at peace is when I'm asleep. I reached I point where there's no way back. I hate everyone around me, I hate this feeling and I hate myself. I wish I was someone else.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have Asperger's but then I think in the end it's better to never have existed at all. Existence is personally a burden for me and brings me many unwanted things (like pain and suffering). If I never existed I would never have to experience these things.

 

[wellbetteroff]

yes im born genetically ugly only money could fix i wish i was pretty and good looking

 

[druggedonsurvival]

Yes, all the time. I have a fairly decent life but I hate the way that I am. So insecure and stuck inside my head and horribly aware. I have no friends but people seem to like me and I'm trying to get better but I am so cynical about my chances of feeling better. I just wish it wasn't so hard to find happiness and satisfaction in my life, that's all I really want. Maybe if I was someone else that wouldn't seem so impossible.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Yes - my life has been traumatic since the very beginning. But wished rather for a different life.

 

[WearyWanderer]

Yeah. Someone with better genetics and half a chance at contentment. At least then I'd even have more ability to ctb safely and successfully.

When you become severely disabled later in life most people don't give a fuck enough to help.

 

[kane9191kosugi]

If I could be ignorant enough to not notice (or care) about every little thing that's going on in the real world than yah sure.

Otherwise, no. I'm at a point where I detest humanity in general so I probably won't be able to live a satisfying life just because I was born in a better situation.
But that doesn't mean I want to be reincarnated to an animal lol.

I probably don't want to exist. Just completely disappear (or be unconscious). I just don't see value in what's going on in the real world, as it looks fake and artificial.

 

[deedeme]

I wish I could be myself but under different circumstances.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't know. I can't really comprehend most types of people. Even on this site, I feel like I can't understand most people here. I remember that I never wanted to live to begin with yet many people here have wanted to live but got that taken away from them due to something going on in their life. I have wondered what it's like to be one of these people who appreciated life before they were suicidal instead of always wanting to be dead. I question how they do it and I know that, no matter what answer gets presented to me, I will never understand it and I never will until I experience it for myself

But even so, is it worth being anybody other than myself? What does it mean to be so happy at being exhausted over working every single weekday and then further exhaust oneself by taking care of the house as well as their own human body? Is this really who I would rather be? It sounds so painful yet... they do it happily. I don't understand it... I don't understand any of it

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I've never thought about a specific person and wanted to be them. I just don't want to be me

 

[LaVieEnRose]

As an autistic person, approximately 99% of humanity.

 

[Aim]

After being a victim of way to much trauma, lies, and dysfunction. I almost have no clue anymore to who i really am. I thought i knew, but i dont. So there is actually nothing more i would wish for then to be and feel whole inside. I guess i wonder what kind of person i would have been if i did in return experience stability and was allowed to actually grow as an individual. Instead of being victimized all the time.

 

[ThymeToLeave]

Yes, I've wished I was someone else. Someone who is worthy of existing around others, being part of society, forming relationships, doing meaningful things, etc.

 

[divinemistress36]

I wish I was emotionally stable Optimist