Have you ever turned your life around or started over?

[Klo]

I feel I have started over and "turned my life around" at least twice and maybe even more than that but definitely once when I quit doing drugs 15 years ago and then again after an extremely traumatic relationship and failed pregnancy. After both experiences I did not want to live and felt quite destroyed but I did take steps to find a new meaningful life. It worked for a time.

This time I don't have it in me to start over again. The pandemic and being sick, isolated and now in pain and unemployed and broke has really taken everything out of me and I don't even have anything to reach for or to live for anymore.

If you have ever turned your life around beforedo you have it in you to try again?

 

[Roseate]

I feel I have started over and "turned my life around" at least twice and maybe even more than that but definitely once when I quit doing drugs 15 years ago and then again after an extremely traumatic relationship and failed pregnancy. After both experiences I did not want to live and felt quite destroyed but I did take steps to find a new meaningful life. It worked for a time.

This time I don't have it in me to start over again. The pandemic and being sick, isolated and now in pain and unemployed and broke has really taken everything out of me and I don't even have anything to reach for or to live for anymore.

If you have ever turned your life around beforedo you have it in you to try again?

You have it in you. It's just going to be a lot harder. I can kinda relate on a mild note.

 

[Kurinoy]

I feel I have started over and "turned my life around" at least twice and maybe even more than that but definitely once when I quit doing drugs 15 years ago and then again after an extremely traumatic relationship and failed pregnancy. After both experiences I did not want to live and felt quite destroyed but I did take steps to find a new meaningful life. It worked for a time.

This time I don't have it in me to start over again. The pandemic and being sick, isolated and now in pain and unemployed and broke has really taken everything out of me and I don't even have anything to reach for or to live for anymore.

If you have ever turned your life around beforedo you have it in you to try again?

Yes, I did it a few times. The pandemic screwed me up and took away everything and everyone I had in my life. I'm slowly getting back what I lost.

 

[Klo]

Yes, I did it a few times. The pandemic screwed me up and took away everything and everyone I had in my life. I'm slowly getting back what I lost.

I hope you can get it back. I'm just not seeing how I can get mine back. This pandemic really screwed a lot of up.

 

[Kurinoy]

I hope you can get it back. I'm just not seeing how I can get mine back. This pandemic really screwed a lot of up.

More than being successful at the first shot, it's about being constant in pursuing what you want for yourself.

 

[Al Cappella]

That's where I'm at right now. Marriage kaput, trying to find a new apartment, and everything associated with that, and wondering what the point is, exactly. A lot of times I feel like a fish on a beach, only doing what it knows how to do, and that is flop about in futile fashion…

 

[Life_and_Death]

I'm not sure the first time counts. I was 2 and it was my mother's idea. I wouldn't have wanted to move.
And then I got kicked out of the house and school at 16, but that probably doesn't count. Well... I did end up cutting off all my "friends" and parents so it counts I guess.
Umm..... Yeah I'm in the middle of that rn and hate every second of it. If I could kms it would just be over

 

[Hurt]

If I could start over I wouldn't be here. Unfortunately I will be stuck until I die.

 

[Circles]

I'm trying to recover for once but I keep feeling like I'm failing no matter what. Recovery is hard and I sometimes hell most of the time feel there's no hope for me. But what I know is that I can't ctb yet especially since my mom is still alive and that maybe I could give recovery a shot cause I got nothing to lose for trying. When you reach rock bottom and felt that there's no hope anymore it's hard to climb out of that void but to me I feel like I have nothing to lose anymore. Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself.

 

[Klo]

I'm trying to recover for once but I keep feeling like I'm failing no matter what. Recovery is hard and I sometimes hell most of the time feel there's no hope for me. But what I know is that I can't ctb yet especially since my mom is still alive and that maybe I could give recovery a shot cause I got nothing to lose for trying. When you reach rock bottom and felt that there's no hope anymore it's hard to climb out of that void but to me I feel like I have nothing to lose anymore. Or atleast that's what I keep telling myself.

I hope you can crawl out of it. I know it is possible because I have done it before. When the pandemic hit I had a job that I loved doing work I thought was important and I spent time with cool people that I really felt good about and I felt added to my life. Now that all of that is gone it just has me questioning if it was even real and if how I thought things were was not reality. I don't see how I get that back. If you still have hope I think you can find contentment in life.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I don't know if I turned my life around but for a while I found a reason to live. It was something I always told myself not to do as well - to find a reason in someone else. At one point she even said she'd drive to get me and take me away from everything. It was nice to dream. For her I actually tried to be a decent person, I got a remote job to have a chance that I could somehow be with her. But she didn't want me and my mental issues are crushing.

As of late I've met some lovely people in these forums. Two in particular have helped me tremendously. But it seems like my life is doomed to be far away from everyone and I'm not sure I have it in me to fight my mental health or seek treatment. Plus I still manage to be stuck in the past and it all crashes down. I'm not sure what I have it in me to try or what is even worth it for me. Everyone has been through so much and I'm just another background character. I wish we could all find happiness though, if only.

 

[Klo]

I don't know if I turned my life around but for a while I found a reason to live. It was something I always told myself not to do as well - to find a reason in someone else. At one point she even said she'd drive to get me and take me away from everything. It was nice to dream. For her I actually tried to be a decent person, I got a remote job to have a chance that I could somehow be with her. But she didn't want me and my mental issues are crushing.

As of late I've met some lovely people in these forums. Two in particular have helped me tremendously. But it seems like my life is doomed to be far away from everyone and I'm not sure I have it in me to fight my mental health or seek treatment. Plus I still manage to be stuck in the past and it all crashes down. I'm not sure what I have it in me to try or what is even worth it for me. Everyone has been through so much and I'm just another background character. I wish we could all find happiness though, if only.

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I do think dealing with other people is really hard but being alone is not great either.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Life is what you make of it I guess. There was a lot of good and bad for me. I think I was given a fair shake there are a lot of things I'd like to go through it again.

I was really hoping for the truth about 9/11 the unabridged truth who really did it.

 

[Natty]

Several times. I quit the job that was making me miserable, spent a couple of years not working trying to figure things out, led to a drinking problem. I got sober, I pulled myself out of that hole and got married and moved to Europe (I'm from the US).

Depression and and anxiety follow you and taint everything. If you don't have a really good team around you and lots of resources, you have virtually no chance of recovery.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Several times. I quit the job that was making me miserable, spent a couple of years not working trying to figure things out, led to a drinking problem. I got sober, I pulled myself out of that hole and got married and moved to Europe (I'm from the US).

Depression and and anxiety follow you and taint everything. If you don't have a really good team around you and lots of resources, you have virtually no chance of recovery.

Did getting married help the problem and if so may I ask in what way ?

I think some people use marriage and relationships as a big way to cope with life but if it ends in a broken heart it all goes down the tubes. I've never wanted relationships because i knew it wouldn't help me cope. Sometime in the past the desire for me to love and be loved just went out the door, it isn't a part of my psychology anymore

Several times. I quit the job that was making me miserable, spent a couple of years not working trying to figure things out, led to a drinking problem. I got sober, I pulled myself out of that hole and got married and moved to Europe (I'm from the US).

Depression and and anxiety follow you and taint everything. If you don't have a really good team around you and lots of resources, you have virtually no chance of recovery.

Did getting married help the problem and if so may I ask in what way ?

I think some people use marriage and relationships as a big way to cope with life but if it ends in a broken heart it all goes down the tubes. I've never wanted relationships because i knew it wouldn't help me cope. Sometime in the past the desire for me to love and be loved just went out the door, it isn't a part of my psychology anymore

 

[Natty]

Did getting married help the problem and if so may I ask in what way ?

Not at all, it's made things worse.

When I met my wife I was getting sober, doing well, and she was probably the first person I was completely open with about all of my struggles with mental health/alcohol/my life/etc. As our relationship developed I checked every box, I didn't want to mislead her or hide anything, it was all laid out before we made any serious commitments.

She's never cheated on me, she's never really behaved in a way that comes off as resentful or annoyed by my struggles. The thing that our relationship has pointed out so very clearly is that most people just don't have the ability to assist with severe depression and anxiety. She just doesn't have the tools, most people don't. So as I've struggled she's just sort of been there, only able to really give me platitudes and promises while incapable of seeing the bigger picture.

People who haven't been here just don't have the faculties to see the forest through the trees. It's a very lonely feeling, and I think it comes down to something that a robin williams character once said:

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone."

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Not at all, it's made things worse.

When I met my wife I was getting sober, doing well, and she was probably the first person I was completely open with about all of my struggles with mental health/alcohol/my life/etc. As our relationship developed I checked every box, I didn't want to mislead her or hide anything, it was all laid out before we made any serious commitments.

She's never cheated on me, she's never really behaved in a way that comes off as resentful or annoyed by my struggles. The thing that our relationship has pointed out so very clearly is that most people just don't have the ability to assist with severe depression and anxiety. She just doesn't have the tools, most people don't. So as I've struggled she's just sort of been there, only able to really give me platitudes and promises while incapable of seeing the bigger picture.

People who haven't been here just don't have the faculties to see the forest through the trees. It's a very lonely feeling, and I think it comes down to something that a robin williams character once said:

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone."

Wow, that is a wonderful quote. Around the time RW was dying I was very isolated and sometimes I look fondly at those days compared to what I'm doing now.

Thank you for sharing this information . I have never loved anyone romantically and do not believe it is possible for me so I'm curious to hear what others have to say about it

 

[notmuchlonger]

I was at the low point at my life until I finally got a new job. After getting a job I became ill and my life has spiralled downwards after that point. In a worse position then I've ever been

 

[lostmylove]

Probably what people don't tell you about turning life around is this. It gets to a point where the old problems follow you and catch up to you.

I've tried to drift on for a year or so, I've been suicidal since 2020 on and off. Now I've lost my partner and my will to live has gone. All the extra struggling and hard work and stress was all in vain.

 

[grail]

i haven't been taking care of myself and my face and skin changed in ways i don't like, so it feels like i can't start over

 

[Imperia]

I pulled myself out of 2 episodes of depression. It really felt I had to rebuild my life from scratch at that time.
Now I am at round n° 3 and I just don't have the energy, nor the hope or motivation anymore to do it again.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I don't know if I turned my life around but for a while I found a reason to live. It was something I always told myself not to do as well - to find a reason in someone else. At one point she even said she'd drive to get me and take me away from everything. It was nice to dream. For her I actually tried to be a decent person, I got a remote job to have a chance that I could somehow be with her. But she didn't want me and my mental issues are crushing.

As of late I've met some lovely people in these forums. Two in particular have helped me tremendously. But it seems like my life is doomed to be far away from everyone and I'm not sure I have it in me to fight my mental health or seek treatment. Plus I still manage to be stuck in the past and it all crashes down. I'm not sure what I have it in me to try or what is even worth it for me. Everyone has been through so much and I'm just another background character. I wish we could all find happiness though, if only.

You know we have us, you're not alone. I want to turn my life around but it is easier said than done.

 

[FuneralCry]

No. I simply cannot live and I do not want to either. I am not meant for this world and there is nothing here for me. I only want non existence. I do not want to live in a world where there is so much suffering anyway.

 

[Klo]

No. I simply cannot live and I do not want to either. I am not meant for this world and there is nothing here for me. I only want non existence. I do not want to live in a world where there is so much suffering anyway.

I understand and share the sentiment

 

[thedaywillcome]

Thats not even possible because I am born flawed(brain).

 

[Euthanza]

4 times as I count, each time is a big decision when restarted new life chapter but I will never do that again. My life is constant now and it's the way, enough is enough, the 5th decision is to CTB.

 

[Hurt]

I tried many times. I try to do activities to distract my mind but it's not enough. My life is so bad that is impossible not to feel depressed.

 

[picklemick]

I have had to many restarts to count but end up in a deeper bottom each time.

 

[Burner1234]

Yes, I've restarted around 5-6 times and it's gotten to the point of embarrassment. Mainly from poor career decisions with high risks that blew up in my face. I'm at another point where I'll have to restart again and I don't know if I have the energy for it. The lockdowns in 2020 kicked me to the curb and I dropped out of society for two years. I've crawled out my of hole in the past few weeks to assess my options, but the future looks super bleak. Seriously. There used to be a silver lining for the future, but not anymore.
There's only so many times you can fall off the horse before you break your back.

 

[g0921]

Moved out from the country I hate.
So proud that I don't need to rot in that shit hole with shit people anymore.

My life still sucks and I am still poor,
but It will be a relief to die/ suicide somewhere I actually like.