Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
It's like looking at everything as if I was never born but I'm alive in some other realm peering into different realities. In light of seeing this life as strange and ridiculous, death doesn't seem so bad.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: sserafim, Hollowman, thebelljarrr and 9 others
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,268
Life is fuckin weid
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim, Throwawayacc3, ijustwishtodie and 1 other person
xinino

xinino

Anti humanist
Mar 31, 2024
398
It happens when I look to the sky and imagine earth and universe, at those moments feelings of emptiness rise up in me where I deem human life as natural phenomenon directed towards unmarked ending.
 
  • Like
Reactions: thebelljarrr and Ambivalent1
derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,852
Whether it matters or not is one thing, but I always feel weird looking at other people - call them NPCs or whatever - who just kinda coast through life and don't seem to really sit back and question things, they consume the mainstream stuff, have predictable opinions, post everything on social media even though they know it's cancer, etc. Maybe I just think too highly of myself, but I feel like people are getting more and more automated. Like, I'm the weird one for getting depressed and contemplating my existence and no I haven't heard of whatever show you're all watching on Netflix.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim, Hollowman, Throwawayacc3 and 3 others
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
It happens when I look to the sky and imagine earth and universe, at those moments feelings of emptiness rise up in me where I deem human life as natural phenomenon directed towards unmarked ending.
Looking up from the petri dish from our microscopic world. There's clips on YouTube of little microscopic creatures going to and fro in their "lives" much like we do. It's unnerving that that's all we are to anything larger than us.
Whether it matters or not is one thing, but I always feel weird looking at other people - call them NPCs or whatever - who just kinda coast through life and don't seem to really sit back and question things, they consume the mainstream stuff, have predictable opinions, post everything on social media even though they know it's cancer, etc. Maybe I just think too highly of myself, but I feel like people are getting more and more automated. Like, I'm the weird one for getting depressed and contemplating my existence and no I haven't heard of whatever show you're all watching on Netflix.
Empty pointless machines consuming consuming consuming
 
  • Like
Reactions: derpyderpins, sserafim and divinemistress36
F

final_countdown12

Student
May 7, 2024
190
The most important thing: Free will is an ilusion.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36 and sserafim
dinosavr

dinosavr

and if i’m turning blue, please, don’t save me 🌛
Dec 14, 2023
696
Nothing matters in life except when it matters to other things in your life. If you lose a job and you want to have a big house - then it definitely matters. But from separate, dead's point of view it's more than pointless and doesn't matter at all. Mayyybee if we were really desperate we could count stuff that matter to other people, what we leave them with or what remains in their memory, but in the end they'll be dead either and it won't matter too. So 🤷🏼‍♀️
If someone enjoys life itself, experiencing stuff, being a human being - great! Good for you! But hell no way there's any sense in all that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim, ijustwishtodie, divinemistress36 and 1 other person
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
The most important thing: Free will is an ilusion.
Then how do we ctb if we can't choose it?
Nothing matters in life except when it matters to other things in your life. If you lose a job and you want to have a big house - then it definitely matters. But from separate, dead's point of view it's more than pointless and doesn't matter at all. Mayyybee if we were really desperate we could count stuff that matter to other people, what we leave them with or what remains in their memory, but in the end they'll be dead either and it won't matter too. So 🤷🏼‍♀️
If someone enjoys life itself, experiencing stuff, being a human being - great! Good for you! But hell no way there's any sense in all that.
Life is silly and people who care about it are laughable. When people say "it's such a beautiful day," I say, "Nay!"
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim and divinemistress36
F

final_countdown12

Student
May 7, 2024
190
Then how do we ctb if we can't choose it?
As i said, free will is an ilusion
You think you are in command but you are not
You cannot choose
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim and divinemistress36
F

final_countdown12

Student
May 7, 2024
190
Then what are we doing on this site? Why even research methods?
We are trying to search methods to CTB
Unfortunately just a small % will suceed
 
  • Like
Reactions: sserafim, ijustwishtodie and divinemistress36
fleshgarden

fleshgarden

Student
Mar 15, 2023
131
oh yes all the time. sometimes it makes me feel empowered, sometimes makes me feel hopeless.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: LoiteringClouds and divinemistress36
D

DazorTeni

Member
Apr 29, 2024
7
Thoughts like this help me cope but I truly feel deep inside that I wasted my opportunity for a healthy happy life daydreaming about nothing.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
A

APC

Member
May 8, 2024
7
I think my life is small and insignificant, yet I struggle on, trying to solve all of these problems which seem so big and important, when they really aren't at all... What is the point? If I died tomorrow, maybe some people would be a bit sad, but they'd carry on living and the world would keep spinning... My existence is pointless.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: divinemistress36
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,387
Looking up from the petri dish from our microscopic world. There's clips on YouTube of little microscopic creatures going to and fro in their "lives" much like we do. It's unnerving that that's all we are to anything larger than us.

Empty pointless machines consuming consuming consuming
Have you seen that species of jellyfish that pretty much lives "forever". Obviously the cells will break down at some point but the fact it does it constantly is pretty wild. Imagine not being able to say I've had enough lol. That's another level of torture. They got the brain capacity like an octopus so very different creatures.
The most important thing: Free will is an ilusion.
laurence fishburne GIF
 
J

Jorms_McGander

Arcanist
Oct 17, 2023
478
Yeah isn't it awesome? Those are some good times in my mind. I'm very old [for a person with unrecovering BPD, chronic suicidal ideation, alcoholism & other substance abuse] and I've felt only half in control of my behaviour for a long time, while addiction has only reduced my agency. This is like a train wreck I can't control, only kinda hoping that I can cause it to derail and explode lol. It's so fucking absurd and I keep making dumbass choices and burning bridges and losing opportunities over the dumbest fucking shit because ultimately I just wanna fucking die! I dunno. I think I am destined for the road eventually. Only one family relationship to go before I'm fully homeless and alienated from social supports :sunglasses:
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36
L

LaughingGoat

Mage
Apr 11, 2024
590
Yes I think about this every day. Additionally, I consider that the earth has been around 4.6 billion years and the universe around 13 billion years. That's a long time where I didn't exist and the earth & universe will continue to exist a lot longer after I'm dead. So who care about whether I live for 30 or 80 years in the scheme of all that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36